Skittles: the Rents

It's interesting watching my parents separately(because they're divorced and don't talk) come to the slow realization that I don't give a fuck about them. Not in the sense that they don't matter to me. Just that they're not my priority. I've come to this decision based on 3 facts.

1: I'm depressed. In treatment I learned that I have to prioritize myself and my happiness. My therapist told me again and again I care too much about what my parents think. I may have overcorrected I won't know for a while. However, one thing really clicked with me. Nothing will matter if I'm dead. So my parents and I don't share the same priorities anymore because they want me to get my life together and I want to make sure I still have a life tomorrow.

2: They were shitty parents. I have no desire to get into all the trauma. I did enjoy the freedoms of performing well and seeming relatively trustworthy. They didn't care then and I don't care now. They manipulate easy and always have. I just got tired of doing all the work of hiding that fact from them. the feelings of betrayal that they have currently a feeling like they never knew me is a fact of known since I was eight. They need to catch up.

3: They are parents. I would have to do something pretty messed up for them to disown or stop supporting me. I have done terrible things and they got over it and came back. I stopped talking to 1 of them for 2 years. Then that same parent without reason or explanation for me let me quit school and move back home. One of them I maxed out 2 of thier credit cards in a year without their knowledge. They kicked me out when they found out, then about 6 months later wanted me to move back in. Both of those things were done as acts of vengeance so don't go condemning me just yet. I might explain later

I would never jeopardize my parents' futures. I would also never make their lives unlivable. Everything I do is irritating and inconvenient that best. But I need to do me. So when it comes to a making them happy, fuck 'em.