Skitts: an ABC story

Had to do a ABC story for a for a psych eval. Here's it is

Apples glistened in the window of a car awaiting a family of four to come back from the hike in the woods.

Bob a black bear broke into the car to steal the apples.

Car alarm goes off.

Dammit thinks Bob.

Emergency protocol initiated by OnStar police are on the way. 

Fortunately Bob is able to get the apples

Gracefully the bear exit the car

He must escape or be captured by police.

Immediately Bob gets in to the stolen get away car

Jake the jackrabbit is in the driver's seat

Keen to escape and stay out of prison the two took off at high speed.

Local police arrive just in time to catch a glimpse of the vehicle through the thick dust driving away.

Moments later the chase is on

Neither police or Jake and Bob willing to accept defeat.

Opportunity strikes as a train barrels down the tracks.

"Pick up the pace we have to make it past the train to ditch the cops." Bob yells at Jack.

Quickly the police realized what the 2 criminals are trying to do.

"Roger that" says the state trooper.

Shutting his eyes Jack push his foot down as hard as he can and battery makes it across the tracks.

Though they are not out of the woods yet.

Unfortunately, state troopers are racing down the dirt parallel to the tracks on their side. 

vowing not to back to prison Jack keeps driving and hands Bob a shot gun.

"What an I suppose to do with this?" Bob asked.

"X  ray 'em. shoot 'em of course." Jak yells

"You  gotta be crazy if you think I'm going to shoot a cop". Bob protest

Zap and in a bright flash the car stops.

They had run into an electric fence. The chase continues on foot. 

random affirmation

Today's random affirmation is: I surround myself with people who treat me well.

This is on purpose. Everyone in my life is there because I enjoy them or they provide a resource. But everyone in both of those categories must abide by a two rules.

•treat me well

•don't betray my trust

That's all. I put a lot of work into my friendships and I pride myself on being a good friend. I'm not going to do that for people who treat me like shit. 

random affirmation

Today's random affirmation is: I choose to find hopeful and optimistic ways to look at the situation.

I tend to catastrophize a lot but also find joy and hope at the same time. I worried that the Trump presidency would be a disaster. But I also thought that it would bring together marginalized communities. I also thoroughly enjoyed mocking him. And at the end of the day I'm that bitch and will always be that bitch. 

random affirmation

Today's random affirmation is: I let go of my anger so I can see clearly.

I think this one is important to me. I tend to have a temper and an very reactionary. Out of anger I will say things that I mean but in a very hurtful manner. When I could say the same thing at a more appropriate time and nicely. Like saying "your to old for plushies and your just grasping at youth you wasted running in a rat race your not even close to winning. losing more time every day by procrastinating your life away because moving on is to uncomfortable for you." When I could say "have  you considered why you hold your plushies so dearly? There may not be a way relive the past but there are still things you can do and experience that won't let you to miss out on the present either." By waiting and letting the anger past I can think clearly about what my priorities are, what I am trying to accomplish, what I need, how I am going to get what I want to accomplish and need, and what to say. When I am not angry I remember how much I care about the other person and why. When I'm not angry I can see a path to winning the fight in a way that cost me the least. I will not let anger inhibit me from reaching my goal. 

Skittles: all the things I can't say to her

Eta Carina broke up with me. Making this the third time in my 27 years I've been dumped. There's a lot I didn't say cuz it was mean or just unnecessary. So after spending a weekend in Nashville with my friends I've decided to write down everything I wanted, but didn't say.

She should be sorry and hurting. All I ever did was love and support her. I helped her and it just upset her. Cleaned her whole apartment, got her new furniture, and got rid of the roaches. I gave her her first birthday that she felt loved and celebrated. All of that just made her uncomfortable. I'm sorry healthy is foreign to her. But sometimes you shouldn't run from what you don't know. You should sit in the discomfort because it will be comfortable eventually. And I am and will be all she's everything she's ever wanted but didn't know. One day she's going to realize she losing me made everything she's currently trying to do harder. And what I was offering was all she ever needed. That I've only ever had her best interest at heart and would have given her the world if she just let me. She could have been so much better in a year of she just let me love her. Let me help her. She should come back to me and let me love her.

I'm not going to say there's no one else out there who will love her. Or that she'll never find happiness. But she could have had it with me. Had more years of healthy and happy. I hope she finds someone who loves her as much or more than I did. I hope she actually loves them back. I hope they treat her like a god dam princess like I did. I hope they grand gesture the shit out of every birthday, valentine's, and Christmas because she deserves to be celebrated and appreciated and she hasn't had that outside of me. I hope they buy her flowers all the time like I did because she loves how they brighten up her home. I hope they get her candles because she loves the way they smell. I hope they spoil her with presents and she's able to accept them without feeling guilty or unworthy. I hope she learns what she's worth and demands nothing less. I hope they make her laugh all the time and make her so happy she can't stop smiling because that's how I was when I was around her. I hope they take her out for the best food and to the most Instagramable places because she loves to eat and takes pictures of everything. I hope they love her intellectual rants and are able to converse about those topics with her. I hope she gets better and is able to have her relationship with her family how she wants. I hope she heals from all her pain and trauma. I hope they get married and she has a couple kids like she wants to. I hope she's happy.

I am destroyed over someone I taught myself to love. I cry everyday over her. It hurts so bad. It feels like I can't breath some times. The pain in my chest feels like I'm having a heart attack. I can't eat. I can barely work. Mostly I sleep and cry.