Daily Struggles

"Are We Hungry?" America's favorite game show starring depression, anxiety, and the side effects of my ADHD meds

Daily Struggles

When your board is almost equal in POC people to non POC people, but 2 of your white board members don't always acknowledge thier privalage and sometimes take up to much space. -.-

Daily struggles

When your writing has also severed to document the past five years of your life. Expect when you look to see why you didn't go to one specific event. I know I didn't go to the conference in Denver in 2015 because I was avoiding Amoriartii. But I can't find evidence of why I was avoiding them.

Skittles: I'm seeing people?

So I have already told you all about Latka. We are doing good. We haven't officially started our relationship but we talk at least once a week on the phone. We also text everyday and he is coming to visit in December for a bit. I'm excited.

I haven't talked about Vendetta recently though. I thought all hope was lost when I found out this other person liked her and she liked the other person back. All was not lost. V is poly like me. I have since learned about one other person in V's romantic life. So there are 3 of us to my knowledge. I briefly stopped talking to V when I found out about the person number 1. Then she hit me up and asked me to help her move so I did. I got to spend a whole day with her which is how I learned she was poly and into me. We've been talking ever since. In September we started officially dating! Things have been slow but that's intentional. There is a lot of her own history she has to sort through and I respect that. I just like being there for her. I want her to be as comfortable as possible in our relationship so I'm willing to wait, all be it impatiently. I enjoy just being with V. Our conversations are very intentional and thought provoking. But still very relaxed. I like that I just get to be myself and discover myself with her. I always feel in a relationship I'm aiming to please. So I only get to be part of myself. With Cyborg I was very fem, despite wanting to explore my more masculine or neutral side, because that's what Cyborg was attracted to. But with Vendetta I get to be whatever. I love her heart and soul. She is very sensetive ( in a good way) and soft. Her willingness to be vulnerable and engage with me is what I find most attractive about her. She's also just so freaking physically attractive as well. I spend so much time lusting after her. I have learned that when no one tickles my fancy my sex drive just doesn't exist. Which is nice. When I'm not attracted to anyone I don't get horny. Since I prefer the company of others to my own that really works out in my favor. No person, no sexual feelings, no sexual desires, great! However, when I do find someone attractive for more than a moment then its like they flipped the switch. I go from never wanting sex to thinking about it all the time. Thus the case with V. I have been abstinent since I broke up with Cyborg in February. I could have had a fling with California eyes at the beginning of September but mother nature got in the way. Other than that I have only had a boner for V. We started talking in July so by now I could just devour her with my desire. But I'm not going to. I will take a very cold shower and wait. I respect her and I will not force the issue. But dam her eyes, her smile, those lips, her hips, and everything else just keeps me staring.