Another one for Day

And I love you so much it hurts. Did you know that? That I’m dying when I’m not with you and the only thing keeping me from falling off the brink of death is knowing that one day I will make my way back to you. You keep me alive. Yeah the world would keep turning and my lungs would keep rising and falling if you didn't love me. But my heart would refuse to beat. My love for you runs through my arteries and feeds my body and my soul. I would give you all of me and then some. You would don't even have to ask. I would face 1000 suns and years of darkness. I have gone to hell and back again and again for. How do you not know I love you? I have the scars from loving you. My body can tell you the story of how I have gone the distance just for you.  I would say I would give you my life if you didn't already have it a thousand times over it. What more can I do.  Do you want my heart in your hands cuz you can have it. its brought me nothing but pain and misery. But you will have to put it back together from the last time you broke it into a million pieces. I have tried but I have put the fragments back together too many time that I have forgotten where the pieces even go to shape a heart.

and i am staring in your cold black eyes expecting to see something different. you know that's the definition of insanity. doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  i keep thinking one day i will look into them and you will have a soul. i think i might look into them and maybe i will find something human behind your cold exterior. but no its always the same. cold, frigid even.  uncaring and indifferent about the world that they take in. did your eyes ever shine. did they ever glisten with wonder and excitement about the unknown journey head. or where you born dead. sent here to plague the living and taunt us about our emotional weakness. you suck the soul right out of me. draining me of my life source. from my eyes to yours. and even after you have consumed every part of me but my flesh your eyes are still blacker then a starless sky, and just as empty.  i stare into a soulless being's eyes with tears in my own, for emptiness possesses me.

and i have giving you everything so there's nothing left for me. i am almost ashamed of how much i love you. i know  that love makes you do crazy things but dam. i never thought i would be here with nothing. loving you comes with one of the highest prices i have ever paid. i have loved you and all i have to show for it is my shame. i have given you all my love and all i got in return was pain. there are nothing but scars and open wounds from where my heart should be. from where you stole it from me. ripping it out of my chest. but my damnable body refuse to die. no, dying on you would be to easy. i have invested too much to not get some kind of return. and on my word, the only thing i have left, i won't leave until you tell me you love me. i need to know you love me. and even through i know deep down you don't love me and never will, still tell me you love me anyway. let me love you and tell me you love me. so for a moment i can imagine i have you all to myself. i want to believe even if it is just for a second that i have you all to myself. like you have had me all these years. and you don't even love me.

and before i sell my soul to the devil. before its signed in blood. before blade marks me for death. just tell me you love me. 

Random skitt: CPS

When I started this blog I said I was going to do more of these random skit things. I liked how I could incorporated the concepts I had for my real blog into the ones I did for school. Obviously the ones I did for school where edited, spell checked, and proof read many times before submissions. Whereas this blog is as unedited as possible. I was blessed to have teacher to let me run with my imagination and creativity. I had an environment that cultivated that. I was and am academically privileged. And like all privileged people we like to take one day out of the year where we go out and help people who aren't. Mostly for recognition of course but we help. So even though I didn't live you’re normally CPS up bringing I did get to see some of it. When important people come how the school puts on a front for the people. They put their best foot forward. So I didn't even get to see a normal day I got to see their best and it was still dismal. So I can say even after all the marching and the picketing is over the problem isn't resolved just because the strike is over doesn't mean the problems are solved. I came home to my city to find that education is being privatized. I for one have always believed in a quality free education. One where you could at least survive in this world on your own without a college degree. But you can't even mop a floor without an associates'.  What is that saying about our education system ? The city can't close down neighborhood school to make way for more charter schools or private schools. Not all kids are charter material. There is a reason for the hierarchy system we have. Yes, all people are created equal and no man is better than another when judge as whole. But this is about isn't about the whole person. This is about academia. And in that particular filed you are dam sure there are people who are better than others. We need neighborhood schools so that neighborhood type kids can still get an education. We need a hand full of charter school for the handful of charter kids. We need technical schools for those kids who know they want technical skills. We need specific subject academies for kids like me who excel in particular subject but not others. so I need more of a challenged in the ones I’m good at and I need to be taught the ones I’m not good in. we need college preps for your ivy league bound kids. They are going to need to know certain things before they go that the rest of us don't need. Tearing the system and making it private won't fix things. Given the fact that the system could work if fixed. Privatizing education will do nothing more than cripple us academically beyond repair. The fact that money already has to do with where you live is already bad enough. Because not all neighborhood schools are created equally. The ones on the north east side are much better than the ones in the west side of the city. Why because the rich live in the north east and the poor live to the west. Money is already deciding what type of “free" education your child gets. Privatizing education would just be a stupid blindly taken step off the educational cliff of no return. Not that it would be a far fall from where we stand right now. I mean some off the text books are older than me. Hell so are most of the computers and programs. A good education requires all the necessary resources. I had an observatory in my high school just saying. Meaningful filed trips up to date material and books. Relatively new technology. All these things would help. Stop blaming the teachers there are more players involved here and maybe you should look at the bigger picture before you close a perfectly good school. I just think the only reason why they are so gun ho with the wrecking ball because boys like their toys and it’s cheaper than investing in a future the mayor will never see. His kids are in private school because he can afford it. 

Skit: Ringing it in

So i know for the new year people make resolutions.  but i don't think i have any. i do normally make resolutions but i can't think of anything. I love like there is no tomorrow but i still take the time to think about my decisions. i play just as hard as i work. i have achieve a balance in my life that i love and that's fits me.  if anything i want if to martian the life i have or keep getting better. i am not saying my life is perfect or with out places for improvement. i am just saying that i could be much worse. i will think about making resolution and i will only make one if its; 1 making my life better and 2 feasible. you should try to make your resolution according to these rules too . Happy New Year To YOU ALL.  I am really thankful to be bring in the new year with all of you. I hope we have another great year together.
Stay fierce yo

Ps. is it strange to anyone else to start the new year on a Tuesday?????? just wondering