First off I know today isn't Tuesday and that I missed it. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I missed it until Tuesday night and I wasn't going to rush something to meet my own arbitrary deadline.
So awhile back in 2015 I went to a workshop called one, two, three, more. It was about polyamry of course but the focus was on desire and how to build healthy relationships around those desires. I went with my boyfriend which in hindsight wasn't a good idea. The facilitator wanted us to analyze our past and current relationships and share, which we couldn't do without our privacy feeling invaded. At this workshop you bring what you feel is not working and the goal of where you want to be. In the workshop you learn tools such as conflict resolution and self care to fix your relationship and achieve your goals. You learn how to listen not only actively but emotionally. The facilitator explained that we need to listen emotionally becuase rarely are relationships logical enough were you can just actively listen and talk through the problem wholely. Emotional listening involves empathizing with the other person and verbalizing the emotions you think they are feeling so you are on the same page. It also involves sharing your feelings and desires. This all ties in with polyamry becuase you need to have open, solid lines of communication with all your partners. We also talked about ranking your partners, ie primary, secondary, ect is not necessary. Hierarchies in polyamorus relationships is often harmful because it makes the other partners feel less important and makes comperssion hard. Comperssion is kind of like being happy for your partner's happiness, almost the opposite of jealously. A healthy relationships can't exist with jealousy or without comperssion. It matters not if you are monogamous or otherwise.
The workshops was great and Cyborg and I walked away with a lot of communication tools. However we both agree we should not have attended togther.
Stay fierce,
J-Skittles
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