I don't think I'm allowed to be pissed if a friend cancels plans and ask for some me time. I know your not allowed to be angry if your significant other cancel and opps for me time. You can be worried but not angry. So given that, I am wrong for being pissed that a friend who I love for canceling my trip cuz they want to be alone. But its their birthday!... And I should respect their wish because its their birthday. I know. But who doesn't get laid on their birthday. That's what they are for, to make sure after like 21 you at least get laid once a year until 33. And if I am not mistaken sex is a game with a minimum of two people. So they won't be alone!!!!! If I all do is get of the plane hug them, give them their gift, and go home I would be satisfied. I can't even do that. They don't want to see me. So I am bitter. I am trying not to be bitter because that never ends well with me. I am considering not going to the Gala later in the year but then I wouldn't see them until February. That's to long. I need something that's pacifies my anger and satisfies my need see them. This is why I don't like people or go on dates, because I fall and they don't. Gravity sucks. It would be fine if I could love in space and either instantly die due to lack of satisfactory environmental conditions, or float around weightlessly, so when you fall you don't really get hurt. I just want to be with them, why is that so wrong? And I was going to do it this time. I was going to celebrate their birthday with them Friday night and most of Saturday. Then Saturday night tell them I like them, if this went really really well I'd stay till Sunday night/ Monday morning, if not I'd leave Saturday night/Sunday morning. Things don't have to go bad for me to leave, anything short of really really well would make me panic and leave. I finally figure out what I wanted to say kinda, I figured out the important parts. I don't know single person like you and I love our friendship because it unique for me to find a person I can relate to so well. But I have feelings for you and its harder for me to be your friend as we get closer. I'm not intentionally drawing away from you I'm just trying not to fall for my friend. Then we talk and I either stay or let them know I will be leaving tomorrow morning for what ever reason. But I am not going and I was finally able to muster up enough courage/booze (just in case I loose my courage) to tell them this carefully thought out " I like you". I also wanted to go cuz there is a lot of stuff going on in their life right now. I wanted to be there to be there for them. I can tell there is so much more going on then they are telling me. They aren't not telling me on purpose, its more telling me the truth would require them to be truthful with them self first, which is not something we as humans are necessarily willing to do all the time. They don't have to tell me though because I already know, I can feel them from miles away. And it makes my heart hurt because they are hurting. Is it so wrong for me to want to comfort my friend on their birthday. For me to feel pushed out by the person I love. I may not be warranted in my anger, but the pain and concern I feel is true.
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