#YASSSSSS misconceptions: Bi-spin off ep3

"No one is 100% Bisexual"
I hate when people say that they don't believe bisexual exist. Like bisexual are some mythical creatures too outlandish to be real. The news headline will never read "Spoiler Alert: bisexuals to be featured a lot in fantastic beasts as one of the rarest creatures." Of COURSE WE EXIST! People believe in Noah's Arch, Santa Claus, Bigfoot, yetis, Nessy The loch Ness monster, faires, that the Earth is flat, that women can control their periods without medicine (I think that they think we control it with our minds), and a whole lot of other far fetched ideas. But bisexuality is to wild of theory to be real. There is no scientifically accredited evidence that vaccines cause autism. There is plenty of scientific evident supporting bisexuality. You can see bisexuals but you can't see the oxygen in the air you breath.

***Side not***
Even when it's cold outside, that's the condensation of the moisture not the actual oxygen. Not in bubbles or balloons you blow either. The gas you see trapped is a mixture of oxygen bonded with I higher amount of carbon. I mean you can't see pure oxygen. Yes I'm aware the oxygen we breath is a mix of carbon, nitrogen, and a few other gasses. But we only use the oxygen from the air in breathing.
******
Point is bisexuals are real and there's no right way to be bisexual.

As a Bisexual I have definitely asked other bisexuals with the their percentile breakdown is. Not in a your not a full bisexual way though. Asking what percent are they to each gender (in a binary world). If I like women 75% men 25% that does not make me 25% straight. Having a preference for one gender over the others does not make a percent straight vs. gay. If I like men more that does not make me straight. If I prefer women that doesn't make gay. Bisexuals that aren't 50/50 are still 100% bisexual. You can be 99/1 still bisexual. You can be cismem/transwomen, still bisexual. You can be Agender/Non Binary still 100% bisexual.
We're not a pie chart. All forms of bisexuality are 100% vaild. All one needs to be 100% bisexual is say your Bisexual.

#T misconceptions: Bi-spin off ep2

I don't know if I ever shared stories of how I was a womanizer in high school.  I mean as much of a womanizer as a high schooler could be. I wasn't really sleeping around as I was dating a lot of girls and breaking their hearts. All of this is to say I've never been good at being slutty. I find that a lot of bisexual people are just as awkward and socially inept as I am.

"Bisexuals are cheaters."  "Bisexuals are sluts." "Bisexuals are greedy."

First off bisexuals aren't greedy because you can't own people. Slavery is illegal worldwide. Even if when one is in a relationship no one owns their partner. Not even a marriage. So someone who has a lot of romantic relationship is not greedy. They're not hoarding their partners. Because humans can't own one another.

I know how this stereotype got started. Its because (in a binary world) we are attracted to both genders so everyone thinks we are more promiscuous. Also if a person enjoys both genders wouldn't at some point they miss not having the other gender if they are in a monogamous relationship. But here's how it feels. It feels like everyone thinks all Bisexuals sit down at some point early on in their bisexuality and think to themselves: " Gee, since I'm Bisexual I can sleep with ~75% of the human population, if they consent. I should go out and get started now." or "How can I sleep with the majority of the current human population? I guess I'll have to be bisexual."  Bisexuals are not their reincarnation of the Greek god Zeus! If someone wants to be a slut, let them be. It's none of anyone else's business. Someone's sexual orientation does not make them more likely to be a slut or unfaithful.  A group of people of a certain sexuality might to be more promiscuous because their community allows it. That is more for reflection on the community than they identity itself. Some bisexuals are cheaters and/or sluts. There are bisexuals that prefer to wait, take their time, are picky, abstinent I've taken a vow of chastity. I have yet to meet this mythical bisexual trying to sleep with everyone willing to sleep with them. So if you're worried that you're bisexual love interest might be a slut and/or cheat on you purely because they bisexual nature compels them too, then I regret to inform you that that is a myth.  Bisexual nature compels them to like bi puns and sit awkwardly, that is all. If by chance lucky homosapien fancies another person and that person happens to be bisexual and said homosapien ever tells that majestic bisexual "I'm glad you're not like the other bisexuals, and actually faithful." Said homosapien better hope and pray that the ethereal bisexuals doesn't punch them in their face. That homosapien will never be cheated on by the glorious bisexual because hopefully that bisexual knows they are divine beyond all words and wouldn't date such trash. Some bisexuals cheat. It isn't about the sexuality it's about the character of the person. Bisexuals are not a hive mind. Bisexuals are people just like everyone else unless they're Zeus. Then they're seccrazed God

Slut meaning someone who has sex with a lot of different people because they want to

#Werk misconceptions: Bi-spin off ep1

I only came here for the puns. Half of my life as a bisexual (things that only relate to my sexuality not my entire life) are bisexual puns. The other half is finding a lot of people attractive but being to awkward to do anything about it.

"Being bisexual is just a phase."
It's probably not a phase, but I understand where this one comes from.
I have found that a lot of men in my generation, millennials, came out as bisexual first. I would like to point out that in my experience every gay boy that came out as bisexual first was fully aware that he was 100% homosexual. For some reason people (parents, family, friends, ect) tend to react to coming out as bisexual better. There's less of a chance of complete rejection, hate, and physical violence. It is often safer to come out as bisexual first and ease people into tolerance for acceptance of the queer community. When I told my Dad, he was happy because " I still have a chance at n having grand children." I understand that he wants biological grandchildren. But my sexuality no matter what it is completely rules out biological grandchildren. Also any parent who loves their child less based on the contingencies of marriage and grand children is shitty. I would hope a parent loves their child and what's best for them which includes what will make them the happiest.

Sexuality evolves with the person. People continue to change until they die. One of the things that can change along with taste in food, music, and fashion, is taste in people (sexuality is part of that). What someone is attracted to may widen, narrow, fluctuate, or cease to matter all together. A 16 year old boy is attracted to highschool girls. It would be ridiculous and perverse if that same man at 32 was still attracted to girls who looked like they were (and might still be in) highschool. When it comes to attraction for personality someone drawn to, what values they want their partners to have tend to change as well. Is it such a big leap for what someone friends physically attractive , with an emphasis on gender expression, or what anatomy someone prefers to change as well? Any sexuality can be a phase because we as humans go throw phase. We as people are constantly maturing and growing. I still identify as bisexual even through my sexuality sexuality actually aligns more the technical definition of Skoliosexual. Which when I wrote this (2017) was called Centrosexual or Lithrosexual. Basically it was in it's infancy as a term. Skoliosexual: being sexually attracted to people who under the Non-binary umbrella. See helpful picture I found on the internet.

Trans umbrella under which the Non-binary umbrella resides. Identities that don't belong under the trans umbrella are as follows: masculine women, feminine men, Drag King/Queens, and Crossdressers

This is the Non-binary umbrella the picture after this will list a lot of identities and their flags that fall under this umbrella.

Sexuality can be a phase but to dismiss someone's sexuality is hurtful and rude.

#RelentlesslyQueer Misconceptions: Part 6

The children. Think of the children. It's always to protect the children. Children are sick and tired of being the scapegoat for your hate and bullshit. They are young and they are coming for all of us.

"The Gay Agenda is to convert the children!" Really? I didn't get that memo. I feel left out. Also when did we all get together and actually get something done. We are good at coming together and partying but not passing referendums. As a whole we disagree about almost everything, white after labor day, acceptable Grindr etiquette, if we actually like Brittney, Gaga vs. Beyonce, what time brunch starts, ect. We're like Congress but better dress and less corruption. We get about as much done as Congress, have about the same amount of sex (and sex scandals), miss use money, and there's a disproportionate amount of men. Any way please see the picture for what I was led to believe we had agreed was The Gay Agenda. To be serious is a worldwide push to ban conversion therapy for minors (read about how bad conversion therapy is here).

Generally we are not trying to change people (unless they are pedophiles racist sexist,ect). We want everyone to be able to live as authentically as possible. We are not making the youth queerer. What is happening is Young folks are beginning to engage in conversation about the status quo. Asking why they had to go along with it. Barriers that existed before, are being broken down. Societies gender roles are being questioned, flipped, or even completely ignored what it means to the youth to be a male is not the same as what it what it wants meant to be a male to baby boomers. Quee asked people "why?"  and society didn't have a good reason. Queer and feminist said "men can express and have just as many emotions as women." Society said "Real men don't cry." Queer people and feminist said "Why? Do men not have operational tear ducts? Do not experience sadness? Do men not know what it is to be so overjoyed? Do men never get so frustrated?" Queer people asked the right questions and didn't get any good answers. So the youth decided they didn't have to do things the same way if there's no good reason or methodology behind it. Somebody under 20 lives a drastically different life than someone over 50. I'm going to show some of  their life using real facts just to show you how drastically different their lives were.

**** Side note ****

Papillon was born 1969 Friday January the 3rd live a short time before the first man landed on the moon July 1969. Papillon had to use the home phone to call friends but it was cordless (1977). When he was 14  (disputed but I'm going with 1983) the internet was invented but it took forever to get porn that way still. At sixteen you could have got a car or a cell phone (which were still ugly  4/13/1973). But in 2002 you could send pictures on phones to and from your friends!!!

Tervuren was born in 2000 November 12.
Right in tine to watch the first occupants of the space station arrive to the space station '00. Wikipedia comes into existence '01 hopefully that helps with all the parenting. Tragedy strikes where both twin towers fell on 9/11/01 and America invades Muslim countries. The Euro '02. We cloned a dreer!!!! '03 Facebook '04. We can put Tervuren down to watch YouTube 0'5
Civil Partnership Act '05 in state by tate bases just in case he's gay. Google become household name '06. At 7 years only he breaks his mom's first iPhone '07 OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  2008 Mapped 98% of Mercury '09 project to sail in space unveiled '10 WE GOT 'EM Seal Team 6 '11. Mayan calendar ends '12.
Look at all the that didn't exist in 69
Instagram: October 6, 2010
Snapchat: September 16, 2011
Amazon: July 5, 1994
Google: September 4, 1998
Twitter: March 21, 2006
Apple: April,1, 1976
Uber: March 2009
Lyft: June 2012

*******************

With the current rate that the world is changing and evolving we are having to adopt quicker and quicker and quicker. I think that at least 45% of the jobs that people in high school will be doing when they are 25 haven't been invented yet. We are changing so quickly and so rapidly by our own hand. I think that change is forcing some of these conversations is forcing some of these questions you normally wouldn't hear. I think they should be answered honestly and with an open mind on both parts. I think that's why it seems like the queer community has a specific agenda for children. We do not have one. However, most of the time we are willing to listen to the young person and treat them with respect.

#Sicking Misconceptions: Part 5

The American education system is doing a terrible job. More money on schools that work, training teachers, educational supplies, and replacing the broken system with one that works and less on bombs.

"All men who sleep with men have H.IV and maybe even A.I.D.S." This is just statistically unlikely and actual impossible. There are societies that are untouched by the rest of the world and they have gays too. But I get where this sterotype comes from. The History of the AIDS epidemic is horrifying. Due to the millions of deaths, fear, and activism, medicine has made great strides concerning HIV/AIDS. There are medicines for people who are infected that they can take (if physically and economically accessible) that can keep thier viral load undetectable. as an HIV-positive person’s viral load goes down, the chance of transmitting HIV goes down. Viral load is the amount of HIV in the blood of someone who is HIV-positive. When the viral load is very low, it is called viral suppression. Undetectable viral load is when the amount of HIV in the blood is so low that it can’t be measured. Having a very low or undetectable viral load are much less likely to transmit HIV, about .1% of a chance. Condoms are super helpful in preventing new infections, 99.9% effective when used correctly. There is PrEP, which someone takes everyday (at basically the same time everyday), to significantly lower their chances of being infected. PrEP means Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, and it's the use of anti-HIVmedications to keep HIV negative people from becoming infected. Studies have shown that PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by more than 90% when used consistently. Among people who inject drugs, PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV by more than 70% when used consistently. However, HIV strains have been mutating and new strains have not been responding to the current version of Prep. There is also PEP. It's lik the morning after pill (Google it if you don't know what the morning after pill is), but for HIV. PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) means taking antiretroviral medicines (ART) after being potentially exposed to HIV to prevent becoming infected. PEP should be used only in emergency situations and must be started within 72 hours after a recent possible exposure to HIV. It is most effective within 12 hours of exposure and strictly following the treatment plan. Research (researchers in San Francisco possibly this these two Merchant RC, Mayer KH.) shows under those conditions its 99% effective. One will need to take it once or twice daily for 28 days. If you think you’ve recently been exposed to HIV during sex or through sharing needles and works to prepare drugs or if you’ve been sexually assaulted, talk to your health care provider or an emergency room doctor about PEP right away. As a demographic gay men and lesbians in America are the least likely world wide to get new infections. Key populations (Sex workers, prisoners, ect) and their sexual partners account for:
- 47% of new HIV infections globally.
- 95% of new HIV infections in eastern Europe and central Asia and the Middle East and North Africa.
- 16% of new HIV infections in eastern and southern Africa.
- the black people Aka: African Americans, African British people, African Canadians, black people in african countries (not white or other Africans) make up the staggering majority of new infections globally

Queer people who have physical and economical access to sexual health services, tend to be very healthy when it comes to sexual health. Queers get regularly tested more often, use protection more often, treat infections quicker, notify others quicker, and quickly spread information if there is an outbreak better than almost any other demographic, the only ones doing better are doctors and porn stars.

#Queen Misconceptions: Part 4

I think as time goes on America forgets there is suppose to be a separation between religion and government. Religion does not decide government policy.

"Homos hate GOD!"/ "Queers want to end religion!"/ "You cannot be gay and religious!" Homo don't hate GOD. Queers want religious beliefs to stop inhibiting them from getting rights or being treated fairly. Yes you can be devout and homo. Queer and religious aren't opposites, they don't go against each other, they are not mutually exclusive, and not all Queers worship Satan, practice witchcraft, are polytheologic, pagan, or atheist. This one is easy to see where it stems from. The biggest antagonist against queer rights and people are relgious organizations. So in turn you have a lot of angry queers protesting hate against them, which nine times out of 10 are religious groups. However, not all queers reject or are rejected by faith (or faith communities), and not all faith communities reject queers. I go to a the country's largest queer confrence and there is a whole faith track. That means every session there are at least three different religious workshops. There are at least twelve 90 minute sessions over the three workshop days (there are 5 days to this thing by the way). What I do know is that Queers believe that the Christian Church should not run the government. No religion should run the government.  Religious beliefs don't get to determine people's rights. Queers want to end the conflation of church and state. I know a number of queers who were never rejected by their faith communities. They are proud Jews, Christians, Muslims, and Mormons. They are also ridiculously queer. I also know a number of c
queers that have gone back to religion later on in life. Not all queers are atheists not all of us hate religion. Enough of us have had bad experiences with religion to make the community-at-large seem jaded.  The S
Stereotype shouldn't be "queers hate GOD" it should be "people hate queers and use GOD to justify it." Hating people is not really in the spirit Christianity, Judaism, or Islam. The big three abrahamic religions preach love, tolerance, and acceptance. They also say that it is not our (humanity's) place to pass judgment, GOD is the only one who can judge. These haters stop being hypocrites and practice what they say they follow.

#Snatched Misconceptions: Part 3

Okay so I have no idea why the whole thing didn't post. I just noticed it was wrong 5/1/19. Sorry

Why do people say such nonsensical things?
"All homosexuals are pedophiles." / "Gay rights will lead to legalizing pedophilia." If you didn't already know that wasn't true let me be the first to tell you. No one respected in the Queer community is advocating for pedophilia. NO ONE! This is not a thing. It's not acceptable. When it comes to children (anyone not legally an adult) the Queer community wants the following: help and support for the homeless, conversion therapy to be illegal to practice on youth, more resources for their mental health, the right to adopt them, trans youth to be able to get the medical help they need with out their parents consent (hormone blockers and therapy), better inclusive sex Education, free STD testing, free birth control that doesn't need parental consent, rights/legal protection for queer especially when it comes to education.

I think the conflation of pedophiles and queers came partly out of scare tactics that were 100% lies. The other reason I could see the two being grouped together is because of the vanity in the gay male scene. Some grown gay men, especially twinks, look like they are freshman in highschool. I have friends that are almost 30 that look 14. We're so fabulous we stay young forever! If your over 25 but look like your 16 the world doesn't get to shame you or the people a attracted to you.

We're not more prone to pedophilia than heterosexuals. I actually think that because we're fighting so hard to end queer youth suicide that we're more likely to oppose it.

#Kill'n 'Em Misconceptions: Part 2

Why the majority cannot just let minorities live is beyond me. The majority should just mind thier business and stop judging people they know nothing about.

"You must be attracted to the same sex becuase of sexual trauma." You can't be raped gay. In order to cope with tramua mental health professionals have observed some survivors start having sex with the gender opposite of their attacker. The professionals also say once a survivors begin to heal that they normally stop that behavior or identify as bisexual. Peoples sexuality evolves as they do. When a survivor begins the healing process they are rediscovering themsevles. Having sex with the same gender might be something a survivor actually enjoys after they stop using it as a coping mechanism. My two biggest issue with this misconception are: FUCK OFF for chastising a person trying to cope the best way they can in a country that doesn't have free universal health care (but also put a cactus up your ass for chastising a survivor's coping without being part of the solution and treatment plan created for them by the correct certified medical professional). FUCK YOU (any person who says "You must be attracted to the same sex becuase of sexual trauma.") for invalidating someone's sexuality by using rape culture.

#DragThem Misconceptions: Part 1

There are a lot of misconceptions around different identities within the Queer community as well as misconceptions about the community itself. I'm going to try to go over the ones I know that I think are most common or effect the entire community. I will also explain why these ideas about Queer people are simply untrue.

"Being Queer is a choice." I don't know where we are born this way or become this way over time but I know we don't choose to be queer. I think of it as are we born being able to love or do we develope the capacity to love as we grow. I know being queer isn't a choice through. Would someone choose to loose male privilege ( trans people assigned male at birth)? Would someone choose to put a target on thier back making themselves more likely to exspeerince all types of vioilince, higher chance of committing suicide, higher chance of being murdered (specifically but not limited to trans women of color, trans people who don't pass, gender non conforming folks, butch females, and effeminate queer males)? Would someone choose to be more likely to be bullied? Would someone choose to risk family rejection and homelessness? Would a religious person choose possible rejection from their faith community? Would someone choose to loose civil rights like not being fired, rejected for an apartment/condo, not receiving treatment at a public hospital, health insurance covering your needed medication, access to public restroom, the ability to adopt, and say in your romantic partners affairs if they are ill/dead just for being part of a spefic demographic? Would someone choose to loose the possibility of justice for their murder (in most states "Gay Panic" is still a legal defense that will get a person off for murder)? Would someone willingly choose a higher chance of exspeerincing hate? No! No one would. So when people say that being Queer is a choice they are saying we knowingly choose all of that. Or they are saying when a person found out that being queer came with all of that they choose to stay queer. That notion is so far from the truth. Someone can choose to ignore what they know to be true. Someone who is not heterosexual and/or cisgender can choose not to do homosexual, transgender, and/or asexual things. That part is a choice. Mental health professionals say those who choose not to embrace thier queerness are usually extremely depressed and suicidal. Someone who is queer can choose not to be part of the queer community. I have friends like that. They don't go to gay/queer bars, clubs, spaces, centers, or events. They aren't part of an online or digital queer/gay comminty either. They don't go to pride. They seem fine and happy. My friends like that aren't doing it becuase they are being forced not to, they just don't want to. My friends are making that choice. My friends that don't particapte in the queer community still embrace their own identity how they want and don't avoid other queers. If one of my non community queers meets another queer at a party my friends don't run the other way. My friends treat the queer person like any other person. My non community queers meet possible romantic partners doing things my friends like to do, like visiting old book stores or whatever they enjoy doing. My non community queers are still living their truth.  You can't choose whether or not to be queer. You can choose whether or not to try and be happy (and safe).

#Shady Misconceptions: Prelude

First I'm so sorry that this is over a month late. It took a long time to write this final installation of the Pride 2018 Series. I didn't just sit down and write it all at once. I couldn't. I had to sit and think, get outside opinions, and research. I live in a very queer bubble. Not just 90% of my friends identify as at least 1 queer identity. Most of my friends are the "radical" left. Most of my friends are grassroots activist. Most of my friends keep up with new queer theory, both academically and as it developes organically. My 5 closest friends are all queer and everyone of them except for 1 identify with multiple queer identities. 1 of my inner circle knows what's up and coming with queer media and art. They know where things are headed becuase they watched the new trend grow from basically inconception to popular.  With that said I rarely experience hate, see stereotypes, or deal with mainstream issues. I'm privileged in that way and it made this piece hard to write. But it is done now. There are six parts to this and then a four part Bisexual spin-off.

#SpillingTea Part 2

You all remember last week when I reminded you all that the Queer community isn't this fun care free magical place. It is more like Hogwarts but not british and probably a lot more sex. Now before you all go " but Hogwarts is a fun magical place." you are only remembering part of the story. Remember the snake that was killing people, how many evil professors worked their, the dragons, the main sport there usually puts the athletes in the infirmary, the tree with an attitude that will definitely kill you without a second thought, the stairs that moved just cuz they wanted to mess with the students, the racism, misogyny, pure blood nazi, ect. I could go on for a long time. Yes, there are great parts of Hogwarts but there was/ is some fucked up things going on there. The queer community is exactly like that. A particular general group with in the community that catches hell inside and outside the queer community are any genders that are not strictly male or strictly female (male and female being binary gender).

Okay so let's break this down because this covers so many genders and expressions. We are going to start with the binary with the exception of intersex. You will understand why that isn't binary when we get there. There is cisgender, one's gender identity agrees with the sex they were assigned at birth. If one was born with a penis, balls, and prostate they are assigned male. When they are old enough to start defining who they are ( usually around the age of 3), and they say they are a boy then he is probably cisgender. If they say they are a girl, she is probably trans. Any declaration of gender identity by a 3yr old should always be explored, questioned (in a curious way that invites the child to think and explore), and affirmed. Similarly if a baby is born with a uterus, clitoris, vagina, and fallopian tubes they are assigned female. If they say they are a girl then she is probably cisgender. If they say they are a boy then he is probably trans. If they are born with a combination of genital like a vagnia and a prostate, a penis and a uterus, ect they are intersex. Most babies born this way have "corrective surgery" to only leave them with one kind of genitals penis/balls or vagina/uterus. There are very few cases where the "corrective surgery" is medically necessary, meaning the baby is going to have life threatening, life inhibiting, or long term medical problems if the baby was to stay intersex. Parents either want the surgery due to their own bias, misconceptions, doctor's pressuring them, the doctor's bias, or fear of their child being bullied. Whether or not the baby gets the surgery or not, they grow up they can announce that they are a boy, a girl, intersex, gender fluid (fluctuating between male to female or going male, both/intersex, and female), bigender (male and female, male and intersex, female and intersex) or trigender (male, female, and intersex) and all of that would still be considered cisgender. Anything else would be trans.

Other binary genders include: demiboy, trans male, trans female, demigirl, bigender (male and female), gender fluid (with the spectrum for the fluidity going between male and female), and gender non conforming (with in the binary). Again I have not named all the binary gender identities. I'm sure there are more than I just don't know about. I didn't list two Spirit because I do not know enough about that gender identity to be able to say it is or can be a binary gender.

Now that we have covered the binary genders to the best of my ability, let's talk about all the other possibly non binary gender identities I know about a decent bit of info about. When I say technical I mean how the masses/the internet define the identity. This does not mean everyone who identifies as said item identity defines it that way. I think us queers tend to take words that are close or similar to how we feel and just use that.

Non Binary: pride flag (from top to bottom) Yellow, White, Purple, Black. This is a gender identity and an umbrella for a lot of other gender identities. This also is my current gender identity. I do not feel like a woman/female/girl/lady/Goddess or man/male/boy/gentleman/God. I was raised and socialized to grow into a women. That didn't happen. I don't know what it means to be a man either. I think it's hard to describe the male gender in a way that is free from toxic masculinity. I have yet to figure out what that looks like yet so I don't ascribe to the male gender either. I am making up my gender as I go along. I want to do live in a gender that is not oppressive, steeped in colonization, or European ideal/eurocentric. It's been difficult. There is only one defining rule about being Non Binary, one does not identify as/is not either binary gender. That's it. With in the queer community people don't understand that there isn't just one way to be non binary. People try to be very strict about what is and isn't non binary but like I said there is only 1 rule. Two different people can have 2 different definitions of their non binary identity. Again we are not mass produced in a factory. Outside the community we have a higher chance of facing violence if you don't look male or female, if you are visibly female but trying to look more masculine, or if you are visibly male but trying to look more female. People misgender non binary people all the time. I use they/them pronouns and the title Mx. I get called miss, young lady, she, her, ect all the time. On days when I am really struggling with how female my body is and then get misgendered, I feel so low. There are also your garden variety asswholes who refuse to acknowledge that "they" is a gender neutral singular pronoun. Don't believe that "they" can be a singular gender neutral pronoun? Too bad, I've already done it multiple times in this post and you didn't reject it earlier. Look here is the first two times I used "they" as a singular gender neutral pronoun "There is cisgender, one's gender identity agrees with the sex they were assigned at birth. If one was born with a penis, balls, and a prostate they are assigned male." I am talking about one person in both sentences. No, its not different because in both of those sentences one doesn't know the gender of the person thus making it acceptable. If people can do it for a stranger people can do it for a non binary person. As someone who is defining my gender as I go along I get really upset when people say I don't look Non binary. Again one universal way to be non binary doesn't exist. Thus one universal way to look non binary also doesn't exist. When we can look as close to the way we want to look, we can wear whatever clothing helps us get as close as possible. It is also hard to go to the restroom in public. If there isn't a single occupancy bathroom available non binary people have to choose which one to go to. No, this does not mean we are actually what ever binary bathroom we use. Most non binary people go to the one they feel safest in at that moment. If I look more feminine then I go to the female bathroom. If I look really masculine then I go to the male bathroom. The only time this changes is when I'm in a queer space. Then I go to whichever has the shortest line. Many binary  folks struggle to understand this gender. It is hard to comprehend something that is not male or female but some other gender. We are not raised or socialized to even think there could be something different. It is also difficult to be non binary. For me is really confusing, frustrating, and upsetting. I am jealous of everyone who has an innate sense of their gender and have words/a label to describe it. Non binary people are just trying to live their lives maybe everyone else could try to let them live it.

Agender: pride flag Black, Grey, White, Green, White, Grey, Black. The technical definition for this one is to not have a gender identity. An Agender person does not have a gender identity. Agender is not a gender identity it is a word used to describe a state of being. With in the community there are a lot of questions. What pronouns does an Agender person use, don't pronouns align with gender identities, what's it like not having a gender, how does an agender person shop for clothes, but said Agender person looks so (insert gender here), how does an Agender person pick a hairstyle, ect. Just like the bathrooms for non binary people picking pronouns does not change the fact that an Agender person doesn't have a gender. English is a shitty language and there are many things we do not have words for. Outside the community it seems that no one can grasp the concept of not having a gender, especially if you can see the agender person. I think we are conditioned to gender people on sight. Most of the time people can see a stranger and give them one of the 2 binary genders. That's fine, but what about when a person tells you that don't have a gender identity? Why is that so hard to understand? It is difficult to dress in a way were someone could easily look at a person and say "that person doesn't have a gender." What would they be wearing? A shirt that says I am Agender? Bathrooms can be a struggle for them as well. It all depends on how they are perceived. Let the Aliens (they are humans but if we think of them as beings not from this world we'll stop trying to force our ways on them) live their Agender life.

Neutrois: pride flag White, Green, Black. This one technically means having a neutral gender. I personally have no idea what that means or entails. Unlike agender this is a gender identity. What is neutral? Neutral in relationship to what? Are they many different neutral genders? All of these question I do not have the answer to. I will just continue to repeat myself and say there is more that one way to be Neutrois. I can safely say they also face the same issues that I've already been stated: misconceptions / misunderstandings, pronouns equal gender identity, bathrooms equal gender identity, violence, stop telling then what their identity is/is not, stop telling them how to live their gender identity, and there is no style guide for this gender either. Nevertheless (and despite all the BS) they keep existing.

Bigender: pride flag Dark pink, Rosé Pink, Lavender, White, Lavender, Sky Blue, Blue
Trigender: pride flag Pink, Dark Periwinkle, Green, Dark Periwinkle, Pink
Polygender: pride flag Black, Grey, Pink, Yellow, Light Blue
Pangender: pride flag Yellow, Peach, Pastel Pink, White, Pastel Pink, Peach, Yellow
Remember the nuances between the differences of certain sexualities from the last post this is going to be very similar to that. Very important, sometimes small, nuance are the distinguishing factors between these identities. Bigender can be a a non binary identity as long as one of the two genders is not binary one.  I understand Bigender as having two distinct gender identities at the same time like non binary and intersex. I understand trigender as having three distinct gender identities at the same time. Polygender is more than 3 genders but not all genders at the same time. Pangender is too many genders to count or all of the genders that one knows of at once. Usually everyone's first reaction to everything after bigender, is that sounds made-up. It's real. Even if you can't understand it just accept it and move on.

For people of color, a lot of civilizations had more than two gender options before they were colonized. For some people of color they are able to find records of those genders that are basically lost. Some people of color are able to talk to elders and find out about other gender options their culture has/had. A lot of indigenous ethnicities in what is now the United States had at least three gender options. Some people of color are able to find those genders and that becomes their non-binary identity. I am not going to try to list any because I have done enough research on where particular POC gender identities hail from. Just know they are out the.

Some other notes on gender:
Genderflux: is a gender identity in which the gender intensity varies over time.
Genderfluid: moving between genders or having a fluctuating gender identity.
Don't quote me on this one: Omnipenultigender: a specific type of gender fluid where your gender changes based on who you are attracted to, to match with the gender(s) they are attracted to. ⬅ I do this. I still call myself non binary but I very much change my gender expression based on who I'm dating or attracted to. When I was with Cyclops I was less than than usual but still Fem. I've never really gotten to be Masc in a relationship. With Vendetta I got to actually non-binary and really pay attention to what I was feeling with regards to my gender.

There is a lot going on in the gender universe.  Sometimes a person may not fully understand or understand a specific gender identity at all, but that's okay. What's important is that we are accepting loving trying to understand keeping our freaking judgments to ourselves.

#Realness Part 1

I have been out and proud since I was 14 years old. My queer identities have been evolving with me. Over the years I've learned, I've gotten more involved in activism, I've started mentoring, and I've given more thought to my idenites. However, it's not rainbows, butts, happiness, and glitter. Middle sexualites ( I'll explain that term later) and any gender that is not strictly male or strictly female (male and female being binary genders) get a lot of shit from within the community and outside the community. I'll be focusing on the sexualities in this one. I'll do another that talks about the genders. Queer is the only sexuality that is also a gender identity. Queer is the only identity that falls within the middle sexualites that doesn't get hell from inside the community. Queer is also 1 of the 2 gender identity that isn't strictly a binary gender that also doesn't get hell from with in the community, the other being 2 Spirit. (I think it's because 2 Spirit is from the American indigenous community and we know better than to shit on indigenous communities.)

What are middle sexualites? Anything that's not completely homosexual, heterosexual, or asexual. Demisexual is part of the Greyscale identities not technically a sexuality. Why is asexual a sexuality and not just part of the Greyscale idenites? Asexual does two things at once. Asexual explains who you are sexually attracted to which is what makes a sexuality. It also says how sexual you are which is a grayscale identity. So if it explains who you are D2F then its a sexuality. If one doesn't identify as completely homosexual, heterosexual or asexual or one doesn't identify as gay, straight, lesbian, same gender loving or opposite gender loving then they would fall into the group of middle sexualites.

Let's start with what I believe the most common middle sexuality outside of Queer, Bisexual: Pride flag (from top to bottom) Pink, Purple, Blue. I know it seems everyone loves Bisexuals but if you openly identify as Bi you know that's not true. First of it gets the bad rap of being a phase. This has lead to a lot of discrimination even within the bisexual community. In my experience people think its a phase because gay men come out as bisexual first before fully coming out as gay. There are many different reasons for this, safety, easier to for some people to accept, internalized homophobia, etc. Some women do this too, before coming out as a lesbian, or while experimenting with female sex. This leads to people seeing bisexuality as a phase, that were confused, just having fun, or we haven't made up our minds yet. Bisexuals do this to newly out Bisexuals too. We don't believe people because we feel like they are just using the identity to slowly lead their loved ones into acceptance. Its not fair to deny someone their safety just because we bisexuals really hate the stereotype. Also sexualities evolve, maybe at some point someone was bisexual but now they are something else, that's fine. Bisexual men are hard to find and probably have it the worst. Most straight women don't want to be with a guy who has been with a guys. I think this comes from the AIDS/HIV epidemic. Gay men who weren't out would be having sex with other men and then go home to their wife or girlfriend. This lead to women getting HIV/AIDS because the men weren't using protection with the men or their women. So women had to werry of men on the "Down Low" aka not out and having relationships with women. This stigma hasn't gone away despite the drop in new HIV infections in the States. What I hear is that gay men don't like bisexual men because gay men are misogynist. In college my fellow gay male students were disgusted by vaginas.

*Side Note*
One of my gay friends, a fellow college student, asked me "How do you put your mouth down there (on a vagina)? Aren't you worried it (the vagina) will bite you?" I can not make this up, he honestly thought the vagina has teeth. Many of them had so many misconceptions about vaginas. Here are some of my favorites: Pee comes out of the same hole the penis goes in and babies come out| There is dried blood in there from our periods| Teeth| All vaginas smells and taste like rotting fish| No part of the vagina helps a person with one orgasms| Periods are like that scene in the shining where the wave of blood comes out of the elevator| Clitoris? What's that?|
*Side Note*

Most gay men don't know much about the vagina and are repulsed by them. Thus gay men really don't want a bisexual man that has ever been in a vagina. So bisexual men usually are forced back into the closet. When they are with women they say they are straight. When they are with a guy they say they are gay. Before you say isn't that true through? No! That's not how that works. When I'm with a man I'm still bisexual. I still find women sexually attractive. When I'm with a woman, I'm still bisexual. I still find men attractive. My partner doesn't dictate my sexuality, I do! Female identified bisexuals have slightly different problems. I, as well as all my female bisexual friends, find it hard to date men. So many guys here the words "Bisexual lady" and think threesome. Let me just say bisexuality does not mean we have any interest threesomes. Bisexual females are not here to fulfill your sexual fantasies. Please stop asking bisexual women to make out for your pleasure, or say its okay for them to sleep with women outside of your relationship as long as you can watch. Bisexual women are not living sex objects. Bisexuals are not more likely to cheat. I have been turned down by so many lesbians because they are afraid I would cheat on them with a man, or leave them for a guy. I've never been a cheater. Bisexuals are no more likely to cheat than anyone else. All Bisexual are not hypersexual. There are some, but that's the case for almost every sexuality. Bisexuals are not hornier, having more sex, or lustful than anyone else. Each bisexual is still a unique person. There isn't some giant factory churning us out like cell phones. Not all bisexuals have a preference of gender. When I came out at 14 I preferred women to men (80% -20%) until I started college. At 18 in college I preferred men to women (85%-15%). Since 22, I don't really have a preference, I just like them extremely Queer looking. Finally bisexuals aren't bisexual to be greedy. We didn't wake up one day and say "why not be able to have sex with  everyone?" Its difficult to be out and hook up because most people think we have sexually transmitted infections or don't want to sleep with a bisexual. Bisexuals have this problem of never looking "queer enough". In queer spaces we are usually read as straight. In straight spaces we are usually read as queer. Unlike gay and lesbian there is not stereotypical way to look bisexual, so we go unseen. Erasure is a huge deal. We just want to be accepted and not judged like everyone else.

Oh wait there's more! There is obviously more than two middle sexualites or there wouldn't be conferences fouced on them. There would be a lot less Pride Flags, I know of at least 22. Also humans are very complexed animals and we different terms for the slightest difference in nuances.

Pansexual: Pride Flag Pink, Yellow, Blue.
Pansexual officially means you are attracted to a person, regardless of gender. I understand it to mean one doesn't care what's in a person's pants or what gender they identify as just if they are sexy. What pansexuals find attractive maybe physical or it might be a person's personality. I think based on definition there are way more pansexuals than any other sexuality.  However, not everybody who subscribes to finding people sexy regaurdles of their identify as Pan. At one point I was definitely Pan, but I had already grown attached to my Bi lable and the colors of the Bi flag. Pan people get the immature comments all the time 1]"So your attracted to kitchenware?" They also get the same question all the time 2]"How could you not care what gender your partner is?" They also are asked if they have a preference 3]"Okay but which do you like more, penis or vagina more?" Since pansexuals are defiantly tired of answering these questions I'll answer them as a comrade  on behalf of Pansexuals: 1]" I don't fuck pots but I can fuck you up with a cast iron pan." 2] "They are an amazing human who treats me like royalty; all I generally care about is what we are having for dinner and watching on netflix before they rock my dam world all night long." 3] "Why you trying to fuck?" Respect people and stop being a dick.

Polysexual: Pride flag Pink, Green, Blue. The technical definition for Polysexual is attracted to more than two genders but not all genders. Every Polysexual is different. Just because two people are both polysexual doesn't mean they are attracted to the same genders. For example a polysexual person could be attracted to females, genderfluid people, and agender people. That is more than two genders but not attracted to all, because male isn't in there, neither is non binary, plus countless others that aren't those three gender identities. Polysexual is always confused with polyamory. Polyamory is drastically different in that's it's not a sexuality but a type of romantic relationship structure. Polysexual is also confused with Pansexual. I think people think Polysexual is Pan because of one's limited knowledge of gender identities. Pan is all, Bi is technically two, and Polysexual is more than two but not all. Within the community some see Polysexual as transphobic. That's not true. The only way for a Polysexual person to make their identity transphobic is to make it Cisgender specific. So Cis male, Cis female, and either 2 Spirit, Male/Female Bigender, or Male/Female Genderfluid.

*Side Note*
People who identify as the last 2 gender identities I listed, in my experience, usually don't seek gender change related medical treatment and don't always identify as part of the trans community ( despite the identities technically falling under the trans umbrella). This does not hold always, and might not even for the majority of people who identify as those two specific gender identities. This is just what I have observed in my friends who identify as Male/Female Bigender, or Male/Female Genderfluid.
*Side Note*

If a polysexual person makes those distinctions then yes they are being transphobic. However, that is not the majority of Polysexuals. Let them live and love.

Gynosexual: Pride Flag possibly Pink, Maroon, Green. Androsexual: Pride Flag possibly Blue, Brown, Purple. These two identities are fairly new to me. I had a hard time finding there flags on the internet. I was able Androphilia and Gynephilia, terms used in behavioral science but that's slightly different. Andro means attracted to masculinity, Gyno means attracted to femininity. Andro does not mean strictly attracted to male identified people. Someone who is androsexual could be attracted to butch (masculine) lesbians. Gynosexual could mean attracted to flamboyant (usually feminine) gay men. This is a broader view on sexuality as it relates to gender and presentation. In my opinion they are too new (the words for the idenites) to be discriminated against.

Finally there is Skoliosexual/ Ceterosexual: pride flag Yellow, Green, Pink, White, Black. This is probably the closest sexuality to my actual sexuality. I understand it as Non-Cis people attracted to other Non-Cis people. Isn't that just homo? No. There are so many Non-cisgender identities. The easiest way to explain it is a specific subset of Polysexual, even though its not. Why is it not Polysexual? Polysexual has nothing to do with your gender. You can be any gender and be Polysexual. You have to not be Cisgender to be Ceterosexual. This is too much. Why so many complex nuances? I agree that we humans are much to complex. I vote devolving and becoming Bonobos, but I digress. If you couldn't guess this one gets flack for being slightly ( but very importantly) different that all the others. There is fighting about the name, something about Skolio's meaning in Latin and/or Spanish. There is fighting about the definition. There is fighting about the fact that it can be seen as self fetishizing. I propose we take a lover not fighter approach to sexuality 😉. Might get more accomplished.

This is by no means all the middle sexualities. These are just the ones I know the most about. These are also the ones that have made it or have almost made it to mainstream. "Made it" is extremely subjective. My rule is if I can say it at one of America's main queer conferences and the majority of the attendees are familiar with the term. Despite what's going on, the generations coming up are queerer than ever before. The majority of queer teens identify as a middle sexuality. It was 1 in 10 people were Queer when I came out. I think it's like 1 in 5 or something now. Middle sexualites are the majority in the queer community but you wouldn't know based on representation. Or based on what you see. Why? It's hard to be visibly any of the middle sexualities because there's no dress code (stereotype around what we look like). Why aren't we in media? That require giving queer character's a story line and probably some character development. Why? It would require a lot of air time to develop multiple relationships to let viewers know the  character is not homo or hetero. Even when they do get air time everyone forgets. No one remembers Arizona from Grey's Anatomy is bisexual. Also Arizona gets cheated on, she never cheats. A character would have to be constantly kissing many different people of different genders, wearing a shirt, having a sign, run around with a flag, or something ridiculous. Just remember it's not all gay men, butch lesbians, and drag queens. We exist, and we’re among you right now. Closer than you think.

#MeanGirls She doesn't even go here. You can't sit with us.

Gate Keeping and Identity Policing within the Queer community

There are many feelings on who should attend Pride and who is welcomed at Pride. These feelings have led to a lot of community policing around identity and erasure of other identities; making people feel unworthy and rejected. Those feelings of unwelcomness and rejection has led to a lot of hate towards people the queer community feel are invading, abusing, and/or should be unwelcomed in queer spaces. Is also led to a great divide within the queer community itself. There have been articles on do's and don'ts for non queer people if the attend Pride and events around Pride. Many Queers believe that non queer people shouldn't even be at Pride or our events. I was originally part of that group. I thought that non queers shouldn't be at Pride or events specifically for us. However, when I thought about it there are several groups of non queer people I want at Pride+ (pride and other queer events) and I feel should be welcomed into the queer community.

Children of queer parents are welcomed. Supportive parents, guardians, siblings, and family of queer people are welcomed at pride+. Any supportive friends and chosen family who don't tokenize said queer person are also welcome at pride+. It means a lot to me when my siblings come to pride with me. I would feel completely accepted and would love it if my mom ever came to pride with me. It would mean so much that she showed up for me and she's willing to publicly support me. It is important for our well-being as people to feel loved and accepted. It is life-changing/saving if your social support network supports you. We should never take away the opportunity for someone to prove their love for their queer loved one.

Straight people in meaningful relationships with queers should also be at Pride+. If I have a cis hetero male partner, I would want him to come to Pride with me. I'm still bi no matter who I am with. I would want my partner to support me. Romantic partners of asexuals, platonic or sexual partners of aromantics, and partners of any people who identify as one of the many middle sexualities are all welcome at Pride+. Partners of trans, gender fluid, agender, non-binary, or any non cis gender identity are also welcomed. Why would we deny a queer person the right to bring their non queer partner to an event that celebrates said queer person? Partners of/people in important relationships with queer people are allowed to celebrate and support their person or people.

People honoring the memory or legacy of deceased loved one are welcomed as well. Trans women of color murdered everyday. Queer suicides have increased since Trump took office. Those honoring the thousands we lost to Aids. People honoring the ones we lost at the Pulse Nightclub. The dearly departed shouldn't be forgotten. There is a time to mourn, but after a person is done mourning they should definitely join us in celebrating their loved one's life. They are needed at Pride+. We need to remember why we need to be seen and why we are fighting.  We need this particular group to remind us where we have been, to push us so they didn't die in vain, and to keep us moving forward. Please come. We need you.

Therapist, psychiatrist, lawyers, healthcare professionals, should  be marching in the dam parade. We need these resources. Being in the parade to let us know that these professionals are accepting, welcoming, and know a little about the queer community and how it relates to their field would be great. I would love to see. Y'all are welcomed at Pride+.

Other activist groups that are actually accepting of queers and trying to do better should be at Pride+. Black Lives Matter, Assata's Daughters, BYP 100 (Black Youth Project 100),National Council of La Raza, Hispanic Access Foundation, Hispanic Federation, Asian Youth Services, Red Earth, Survival International, First Nations Development Institute, Empowered Pacific Islander Communities, Asian Pacific Islander American Public Affairs, National Coalition for Asian Pacific American Community Development (CAPACD), Inner-City Muslim Action Network, Islamic Society of North America, Muslim American society, Institute for Middle East Understanding, The Arab American Action Network, National Network for Arab American Communities, groups against domestic violence, groups against sexual violence, groups fighting for people with disabilities, Planned Parenthood, intersectional feminist groups, groups Pro reproductive Health rights, group supporting homeless youth, pro-palestine groups, etc. Queer people are not just one-dimensional so a celebration for us shouldn't be either. I already said support is life-changing / saving. It is critical to have these groups to cater to the entire person not just their queerness at Pride+.

Finally comrades not allies are also welcome at Pride+. The community has been making a distinction between the two. Allies show up but are often problematic as they do not support the entire queer community usually just gays or lesbians. Allies often don't support trans people. Allies tokenize gay men normally through micro aggressions like calling someone thier Gay best friend or calling themselves a fag hag. Allies go to gay bar and try to dance on gay men who clearly aren't interested. This is especially true for female allies escaping the harassment of straight men at non queer bars. These women end up becoming what they are escaping in our eyes. Comrades, on the other hand, fight with our community, support all of us,  dont tokenize us, listen, try to understand, constantly / willing to learn, doesn't take up space ( meaning in queer spaces they don't talk over queer people, act presumptuously, or make it all about themselves), and use their privilege to help the movement. Commrads are helping us, so yes celebrate with us.

Pride events are not here so that non queers can ogle, watch the spectacleb tokenize, get drunk, or exoticize us. They are here first and foremost because of black Trans woman was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When police came to rade the bar she was in she threw a brick at them. Marsha P Johnson is one of trans women of color gave birth to Pride. The parades are here because we got tired of hiding and being targetes of violence. We come together because it is often the only time many queers get to be in community. Pride events are far too often the only time queer people can safely and publicly be who they are. People travel far to get to a city to attend the parade. Young people who are hiding from their families or in the closet for some other reason, get to be with other queer people just like them for a day or two. Young queers often don't get the chance to be in community either because of when events happen, where they are, or age limits are 21 for most spaces and events.

Pride isn't meant to be hateful but outside is not respecting our spaces has made us bitter. This bitterness that is meant to be directed towards "Emily and Chad" ( basic Cis hetro white people ( people of color do this to though) who just want to see all the naked people and get drunk) are driving a wedge between visibly queer people and cis hetro passing queers. That's not fair. The majority already oppresses the queer minority by being able to be fired, lose our healthcare, not be treated medically, evicted, subjected to tons of red tape just to get official documents like a passport, and/or legally murdered ( gay panic defense). We do not want or deserve to be subjected to tokenization, exoticizing, harassment, exploitation, or hate at our own spaces and events. It is already difficult to be in community due to other forms of discrimination (racism, classism, etc) that were already present ( cuz we can't escape the conditioning of society completely yet). Now because outsiders have invaded we are attacking each other as well. If you are not queer and don't fall into any of the group's I mentioned please reconsider attending. I'm not saying you won't be welcome by some. I'm saying if I see you at Pride+ and I can identify that you are an outsider you won't be welcomed by me or those like me. If non queers respected our space and events that would end commuinty policing. We could once again work towards creating a community that is unconditionally loving and accepting. If you're still unsure on whether you should attend Pride+ consider the following list if you're any of these don't go:
·Trump supporter
·Against abortion
·Transphobic
·Think bisexuality is promiscuous, greedy, or just a phase
·Want to know a trans person's birth name and you are not thier medical professional or work for the government and its your job
·Want to know what trans person's genital the status and you are not a medical professional or trying to have sex with them
·Won't allow trans people going to the bathroom that I just did gender identity
·Don't support queer rights( marriage, job security, housing security, adoption, ect)
·Racist
·Sexist
·Classes
·Ableist
·Fascist
·Nazi
·Zionist
·Nazi sympathizer
·Misogynist
·Close-minded
·Unwilling to learn
·Refuses to try understand
·Hateful
·Against DACA
·Against Dreamers
·Pro police violence
·Pro blue lives matter
·Perpetuate rape culture
·Discriminate against religion that is not Christian or Judaism.
·Against creating a path to citizenship and green cards that actually works and is practical
·A feminist that does not include all women
·Have a strict definition on what it is to be female
·Call someone your gay BFF
·Expect any of your gay friends to do stereotypical things with you like brunch and style you
·Have ever said I won't date or have sex with a race or ethincy that's not euopean (including Russia)
·Don't understand why Confederate statues need to be taken down
·Don't think the Civil War was about slavery
·Don't support gender equality especially when it comes to family planning and the workplace
·Believe people should follow gender roles
·Anti Palestine
·Against Standing Rock or other indigenous protest and rights
·Discriminate, stigmatize, or just generally shitty towards people with mental health things

At the end of the day if you're open-minded, supportive of all, and loving you will be welcomed at Pride+.

#Riot A is for ASEXUAL!!

The Queer community encompasses a lot of identities. From my experience and understanding the identities can be broken up into the following groups: Sexualites (who you want to have sex with), Gender (pronouns and how you see yourself), Romantic attraction (who you romantically love), and Interest in Sex ( do you like to do it bunnies, or are you more like the giant Pandas). I was recently talking to another super queer activist about the Asexual community and that spectrum of identities. Unlike the first 2 identies I listed the Interest in Sex spectrum, often referred to as the Grey Scale, is still thought of in one dimension.

There are so many sexualites. I can obviously name the most common ones but I also can name a few we don't really talk about in mainstream space: Polysexual, Pansexual, Skoliosexual, Monsexual, Fluid, and Andro/Gyno sexual. (That's in no way all of them just the ones that come to mind) We don't really think of sexualites as a one dimensional line anymore that goes from hetro to homo. In its simplified form we think of sexual identies on a two or three dimensional cartesian graph (a graph with X axies and Y axies for two dimensions plus Z axies if doing three dimensions).

Gender can be a lot more complex. I know the gender identities that the average Millennial knows. I also know a number others that don't get much time in the spot light: Agender, Neutrois, Bigender, Genderqueer, Gender Fluid, Gender Variant, Gender Creative, Nonbinary, Intersex, Androgy, Demigende, Demi girl, Demi boy, Pangender, Omnigender,  Stem (a mix of stud and fem), Boi, Gurl, Womxn,  and Two Spirit. (Again this is not all of them, just the ones that come to mind) When I talk to other Queermos about Gender identities we tend to think of it as a gaseous ever expanding galaxy with lots of stuff in it. So think space, you have up, down, forward, and backwards. But also light, time, gravity, and probably more things we don't understand yet (like other dimensions and dark matter). Gender identities can be extremely complex so thinking of gender in terms of an ever expanding galaxy works.

Romantic identities are not as talked about but its easy to just treat them like sexual identities but instead of sex its your heart. Homoromantic means you are romantically attracted to people you perceive as the same gender as you. While Hetroromantic means you are attracted to: 1) people you perceive as opposite of your gender.
Or
2) people you perceive to not be the same gender as you.
*Side Note*
If you are Nonbinary you could be Hetroromantic if you liked people who you perceive to be one of the binary genders. The opposites of not binary would be binary. If you identify your gender as female then you could be Hetroromantic and like people you perceive as Agender, nonbinary, Intersex, male, and anyone you don't perceive as female. As long as they don't identify as female it's not the same gender thus could qualify as Hetroromantic.
**
There is one romantic identity that I know of that is not like the sexualites. Its demiromantic: little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual connection is formed with said individual of interest. If we treat Romantic idenites like sexualites we basically think of them on that same two or three dimensional cartesian graph.

Grayscale is the most unknown group of idenites. As I said above I was talking to another super queer friend of mine and we could only think of the same six identities that would be in this group. Mind you, neither of us are super involed in the grayscale/ asexual community. We pay attention and are usually quick to find out any new words coming out of any of these groups. However, together the both of us know 5 people who identity as any of the 6 identities.
*Side Note*
When I say super queer I'm talking about culturally queer. Not gay, that's different. We think of Gay as what people who aren't part of any LGBTQ+ community think of when they think of the community. I would say super queer people spend most of their free time interacting people who are not Cis, hetro, Gay, rich, upper middle class, white, and/or lesbain. They are activist, artist, musicans, creative types, far left, feminist, radicals, and/or anarchists. They also identify as an/(some of the) identity(ies) in LGTQ+ dictionary. They have been actively part of the community for few years. They could help write the dictionary of terms. They recognize a majority of pride flags (they may not know which identity off the top of their head but they are that's a pride flag). They have taken the time to learn, are learning, and/or trying to learn our communities history. They try to stay current on our communities issues (everything from cake, muder of trans people, lost DACA children, death toll in Puerto Rico, etc its hard). They also have to try to keep up with learing new terms, flags, Icons, and media (art, TV, film, literature, etc)
**
Those six identities are as follows: Hypersexual, Sexual, Demisexual, Greysexual, Asexual, and Sex repulsed.
There is also Sexually Fluid, Grey Fluid, Grey Scale Fluid, or Grey Scale Flux, they all mean the same thing; a person goes between different Greyscale idenities, and/or experiences different intensity of sexual interest. With the current idenites and knowledge around the community Greyscale is seen as a one dimensional scale, 0-10 if you will. 0 being no sexual desire, Sex Repulsed, and Asexuals. Hypersexual being 10. Sexual, Greysexual, and Sexually Fluid being somewhere between 0 and 10. Demisexual is the outlier kinda. Demisexual: little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic/emotional connection is formed with said individual of interest. So after romantic/emotional connection has been established they can be anything but zero, from my understanding of the identity.

The Greyscale community rarely gets brought up. Ignoring, forgeting that they exist, or denile/erasure is rampant for this community. Sexual interest can be simple but just like the rest of the groups it can be really complex. Why do we see it in such a cut and dry way?  Short answer, we don't talk about the community like that. The majority of queers aren't being into the intricacies of this identity group. It was and still is hard to be homosexual. Lesbians still get men who tell them "You just haven't met the right guy yet." Bisexual get told " Its just a phase you'll make up your mind soonb enough." This happens to people who are sexual. If you say you don't really have an interest in sex you get all that plus sent to the doctor.  There must be something wrong with an Asexual hormonally, mentally, or physically because who doesn't like sex? While it maybe true if someone doesn't like sex it could be do to trauma, pain, or lack of hormones it is just as possible they don't like sex. Queer culture is hypersexualized so I cannot begin to imagine the stigma an asexual must face with in our own community. A community that is suppose to support them and be accepting ends up shunning, shaming, and rejecting one of our own because we refuse to try to understand. We refuse to respect our greyscale people just the way they are. Outside of the queer community they face just as much hate, stigma, and rejection. What I've seen is that the Asexual community is extreme tight knit, hard to find (probably for good reason), and militant (also probably for good reason). They fiercely support each other because nobody else will or has. It is time for that to change. There is a lot wrong with the LGBTQ+. One of our biggest problems is that we refuse to accept our own. When I learned the acronym I was taught LGBTQA Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Asexual. I go to a conference called MBLGTACC. Since I've been attending there has been a movement fighting to get the A to stand for Asexual. I've always supported that because it makes more sense than current name Midwestern Bisexual Lesbian Gay Trans Ally Collegiate Conference. When ever we use the letter abbreviations and put the A in it stands for Asexual. Its rude, extremely dismissive, and erases the Asexual community. I honestly don't know why this is even up for discussion. A stands for Asexual, Aromantic, Agender, Androgyny, Androsexual, Androromantic but never Ally. This just shows the crap that they have to deal with within their own community. A major collegiate queer  conference refuses to change the name to include fellow queers. They are choosing not queers over queers for a conference that supposed to prioritize queer people.

Pride was a riot about fighting for our own. By refusing to accept each other and kicking people out we are no longer proud. To get anything we've need to fight together. We don't need to get it. We don't have to agree with it. You live your life, let them live theirs. We must accept them. Asexual are queer and deserve to be part of the community just as much (probably more so) as a sexual cis white gay. I am a Bisexual Skolioromantic Nonbinary Fem presenting person and I'm proud to be in community with Greyscales people.