Queer time travel

When you come out it is a big deal. It’s you being comfortable not only with yourself but trust somebody else enough to let them be part of your life of self-discovery. However after you come out many questions tend to come up. My favorite is how long have you know you were gay. See that's the problem. As I look back on my life I realized I probably been gay for a while. Looking at the Facebook pics of how my friends turned out, ( we were grade school friends growing up but then we went to different high schools but I am still friends with some of them on face book) I had some pretty queer ass friends. They aren't gay but you know how we are crazy fun and a little weird but in a good way, they are like that. I also had some major feelings for girls I just dismissed them because that's not what I was use to. Also, I lived in a really gay hating town. I mean I still do but how I can live in places at once is to be discuses another day maybe if I feel like it. So I really didn't want to venture into this unknown territory because I was so sure of everything else in my life. I look back and I was always chillin' with the guys, talking about girls. I even got accused of being gay and beat that girl up (which made me look like and even bigger dike cause I hit like a man lol). I think I even kissed a few girls (spin the bottle). All the signs were there like the stars were aligned and I just didn't want to peek out the wardrobe and see. (No, I wasn't in a closet I was in a wardrobe in freakin' Narnia). It took some pretty drastic measures to get me to kind check it out. I changed schools, spent more time in the city, and took a summer high school class but I was still wardrobe. I was more pushed out than anything else now that I think about it. I would probably still be straight if I had never been sent to the office to get some paper. If the office secretary hadn't been on lunch. If I had never met Kimmy. I think about how my sister wanted me to stay home with her because she didn't trust Kimmy. But I decided to go anyway. And man was it worth it cuz when she kissed me, on that platform right as the train was coming, it was like a movie. It was like the wind that the train created just breathed a life into me that I had never known. And the electricity from her lips just jump started my heart and gave me a new better life that I wanted to live. I was dead till then. If I had known such a feeling from the get go I probably would be a lesbian. But I have been taught to be straight and it is really hard for me to let go of that and be myself. Because it seems like what I have been taught and what I really am have blend and became who I really am. 

The dance was great!!!! But we will start from the beginning of the day yeah sign making. it actually turned out to be banner making more than sign making we did it outside with spray paint so it was super messy. We were on this patio like thing that was on the second floor of some random building. So it had a covered-ish area but also had uncovered area too. I had to paint some stuff blue and as a result, I got blue feet. Like legit blue the bottoms and the tops through the bottoms where worse than the tops. The tops where blue with glitter so they looked nicer. We had a spray paint fight and because none of us wore mask (we refused) we ended up huffing a lot of paint. One of the girls, the pretty one, got really loopy it was kinda funny and cute. We had a spray paint fight and that's when we realized that this stuff isn't easily removed. You have to use like lighter fluid and shit and the paint got all over my shoes so had to get it off those too. (Now I am afraid my shoe will randomly burst in to flames cuz they been doused in lighter fluid) It didn't rain at all which was super cool. So instead of freaking out about my hair I spent 30 mins I didn't have removing paint from my feet. Then proceed to panic like a chicken with its head cut off till I had to leave. I was late to the dance but it was cool cuz the pretty girl was even later. The dance was a lot of fun cuz one of my friends Boss was off her meds (I never take mine) so it was pretty epic

this is what happens when i have days off and i get really bored. it took me like an hour to do that lol i hope i didn't mess up cuz i am not fixing it. oh you guys are like two week behind my life cuz i write things like weeks earlier. so by the time you read this DOS and NON will have already happened. but me writing this it hasn't so i will have to tell you guys how that went for me eventually.  Stay Fierce leave me comments.