Last night I was telling my friend that this guy she liked was a jerk and never right for her. A midst my epic speech of what love should be I realized Amoriartii never treated me the way I was describing but Cyborg did. I didn't love Cyborg but I should have. I was too busy loving someone who will never love me back. Someone who will never love me the way I need to be loved. I chose Amoriartii over Cyborg after promising not to. I chose the love I thought I deserved over what I actually needed. Now I have neither. I'm too hurt and jaded to be with Amoriartii and to proud to go back to Cyborg. Also I still don't love Cyborg I just feel remiss for being so b stupid. I love being the role model for my friends but I think I really messed up this time. No matter what I would have had to leave Cyborg but I should have left Amoriartii first. I try to live with no regrets. But sometimes it's innevitable. I'm human and I'll make mistakes and sometimes I'll wish I would have done things differently. This is one of those times. I think I should have made a different choice.
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