I went to emporium, an arcade bar, tonight ( on a date) and got my butt wooped at a number of games. But I still had a fun, all be it embarrassing, time. It's nice to be embarrassed becuase for once I'm being honest. You don't feel that way without facing rejection from your honesty or being caught in a lie and being forced to be honest. The worst part is its not out right rejection as much as it is the fear of it. We feel embarrassed because we think that others find us silly, sad, strange, ect. They might not actually feel that way at all. We often cause ourselves to feel this way becuase of our own insecurities. So I could fret and feel awkward becuase I'm am embarrassed. Or I could acknowledge that I put myself out there. I want pepole around me who like me for me; the only way to find out if they can hang is to let them try. Its perfectly okay not to be everyone's cup of tea. Wouldn't you rather know up front? You don't make friends with people you will not mesh with by being yourself from the beginning. I'm going feel awkward becuase I'm human, I can't rise above years of social conditioning in one night. But I'm also giving myself a hug for not trying to be something that I'm not. I'm going to hope that they are okay with who I am. I also want to learn who they are, and hope I like their kind of strange.
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