I have said before knowing what I know and being a radical activist that it would hard for me it as a QPOC to date a white person. I recently read an article by black girl dangerous, how to resist white supremacy in your love life. It asks us to analyze what we find attractive. To really examine our superficial attractions what they say and how they limit or discriminate against others for instance if you only find a certain sense of style attractive think about who's better able to afford that sense of style. The more money the more privileged. Saying that you're attracted to only a certain fashion sense is as bad as someone saying no fems, no blacks, no Asians, on Grindr. Its a classist statement that supports capitalism and has its roots in colonialism. I myself am attracted to status and power, and how do you achieve those? Usually with money and privilege? The people we think about when we think about status and power are white cis hetero men, which is problematic.
Understanding what your attractions and making sure that they're not discriminatory is only half of the solution, figuring out what drives attraction is also important. Are you into radical decolonialized loved or are you still rooted in our social upbringing. I, for one, have not escaped years of social conditioning, yet. I like power because of an understanding of social hierarchy and my need to be on top of the hierarchy. If we demolish the systems of oppression there wouldn't be a social hierarchy. I guess I could say prominence and power prove an ability to provide. But social capital that proves financial stability is only further linked to privilege and white cis hetero males.
The last part is to date what you like not what you want to be. Addressing internalized racism is hard. I struggle with it all the time, the reluctant desire to be white. I permed my hair when I turn 21 as to conform to Western standards of beauty and subsequently whiteness. As soon after couldn't stand it and cut it all off. Hating my hair being too ethnic. Hating myself for wanting my hair to be what's it is not. Straightening my hair feels like the complete disregard and muder of my ancestors. While the kinks and curls in my hair feel like a culture I never knew and never wanted to. Loving someone should look like loving my hair, and myself. If someone can't truly love my curls then they can't love me.
This is an unedited blog about my thoughts, my life, and my experiences living it. I leave it unedited so I can actually watch myself grow. It forces me to acknowledge my mistakes and learn from them. Feel free to leave comments
9/27/15
Skit: Radical politics of interracial dating
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