Daily struggles

I am not a good vagina owner. Every month I'm surprised by blood. Not because I'm not regular, but becuase I forget that it's a new month.
Me: what's that?
Vagina: blood?
Me: already? What month is it? How long has it been?
Vagina: it's August.
Me: Is it really time again? Aren't you early? Are you sure I'm not pregnant?
Vagina: Yes and you would need to get some semen in you some how to be pregnant.
Me: Are you sure? There has got to be some other way?
Vagina: How did you pass Biology or any of you Sex Ed classes?