Dos & Non 2016

Today is day of silence and tonight is night of noise.  I talked all day and I do not feel bad about it becuase today is for privilege people to shut the hell up.  By being quiet you can not only hear the voices that they're the normally talking over but notice the large amount of people being silenced. I say this every year if you're privileged and queer shut the hell up. If your not queer shut up.  Remember privilege is institutional advantage but also situational advantages. You can have more privilege in some situations and less in others. So where as I would be a privileged queer person I was surrounded by straight people.  So I get to talk.  I would like to reflect on when I was in high school and it was a big deal.  I liked it because I thought I was making a difference but I didn't really grasp intentions Day of Silence.  I didn't know about the murders, suicides, and I didn't know about conversion therapy.  I didn't know all of the violent ways people are silenced. I literally just thought about how we are not given a voice and not represented. It it's still hard for me to fully wrap my mind around all the different ways people manage to hurt other people for being who they are. I don't think I will ever understand it until I experience it firsthand. I don't think it is one of those things you can read our hear about and then know it.  I believe it has to effect someone you care about or you personally to understand what it is like for you to be told you and your voice don't matter.  Then you have to imagine that you represent an entire minority, and those people and thier voice doesn't  matter.  The world doesn't care if they are dead or alive. Then imagine all those graves. I can't. I've seen many war cemeteries. I've seen graves by the thousand and I can't imagine being one of them. Or one of those graves being my friends, let alone imagine all of those people being some kind of queer. Dead for just being queer.  Cemeteries are so silent, it's too loud. That's what I think today and tonight are suppose to be.  I think that the silence supposed to make you think and the noise is to make others think. When I was in high school night of noise was a time for me to party with all of my friends and be who we are with other people like us. I respect that part.  There are not many opportunities for queer people to come together in public and build that camaraderie, or feel that sense of community. I just wonder what did the people passing by think of our noise? Was it deafening? Can they feel the pain that runs deeper that than the hate? Do they know what we've lost? Do they care?  Do we know?  Do we care?