I decided to spend my only free days during spring break in DC with Amoriartii and thier boyfriend. Before I get into the drama with Amoriartii. I will tell you I learned a thing or two about the Library of Congress. Since I was here during the week and normal people work during the week I was on my own to explore DC. Feel free to listen to All by myself while you read this. I choose to go LOC becuase I wanted to get in to the famous restricted book section. What I did not anticipateis that you need a library card just to get in to the actually library part. They have exhibits plus viewing areas for the general public to see in the main building. That's right just the main building; bet you didn't know LOC was actually three buildings. So you can get a library card which will give you access to all three buildings. To get a library card you do not need to be a US resident you just need a valid form of identification like a US driver's license, US state ID, or an international passport. Getting your library card takes about 15 minuets and then you're off. I decided to use my all powerful library card not to read congressional documents, nor military records of war. I didn't even use it to read about the civil rigts movement or the defamation of the Native Americans. No, I read children's books. Specifically, the Lost Island of Dinosaurs circa 1932. It was a really good read. Because there are three different buildings it is very difficult to find the restricted book section you see in movies. I was also under a time constraint so I didn't have much time to find the restricted section. But as I am now doing mutiple visit to DC. I might have a chance to repeat thing. So stay tuned to see if I make it in to the restricted section of the reading room.
Okay now back to my romantic comedy of a love life. Every time Amoriartii and I get togther we talk about us becuase we so badly want there to be an us. Right now we don't have words for what we are or what we want to be and I am fine with that. My biggest problem isn't Amoriartii's boyfriend as I thought it would be, but my boyfriend Cyborg. Cyborg see relationship inside a set of lines while Amoriartii and I decibe we see it as: everyone is coloring inside the lines of a coloring book and we are making master pieces out of blank canvases.(coloring books are for children) This is to say that everyone else is starting with rules but we are making them up as needed as we go along. So I really need to get Cyborg to see relationships as blank canvases and not coloring book templates. Amoriartii is being nothing but patient and loving with me. They say that they will always be in my life no matter what the capacity. They just love me and want to be in my life however they can. This does not mean they will help me cheat on Cyborg that's not Amoriartii's style. They respect people's relationships and boundaries. They do not flirt with the line they will not cross the line. Honestly neither would I if Amoriartii was having the same problems with his boyfriend. I would be supportive and I would respect the relationship. I do respect thier relationship. My fear is that this will turn into a long term waiting game that neither of us has the patience for. Then one of us will decide it's time to let go. That would end me honestly. I would be more than heart broken, becuase I feel at home in thier arms. I love kissing them goodnight, good morning, good bye, thank you, and whatever other reason I can think of to kiss them. Point being I need to figure out what I'm going to do and soon, because not having the freedom to love, and express that love how I want is killing me.
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