Oranges and Apples

Okay, so in my last post I was telling you about two very special ladies Kimmi and Skrill. As you, people know I dated Kimmi a while ago, so she came first. And know I am very interested in Skrill. The only problem is the more I get to know Skrill the more she reminds me of Kimmi, and that scars the shit out of me. I mean I don’t know her that well so, I won’t be doing anything rash, but I can already see the comparison. I feel like crap because you are not supposed to compare the past to the present. Nevertheless, I really can’t help it everything I loved about Kimmi I really like in Skrill. I mean they are different people yes but their personalities are so much alike. I want to like Skrill for Skrill, not for Kimmi. However, I don’t know if I can do that. I mean if I was in complete control of myself, I would be able to do that, but I feel so stupid next her, and I can’t talk, almost as if I am just starting to learn English. I want to be confident like I am when I am away from here cause I know she needs that. Things happened Friday and she confided in one of our mutual friends (which was fine because she has known them longer) but I wish it were me. I want to be the one she confides in, and talks to and shares things with. I want her to tell me things. I want … I want to hold her hand, so bad. I know that sounds really lame and childish, but I feel really sentimental about Skrill. I don’t want to rush anything with her. I want to do things right. Move at the right pace, do things at the right time, say the right stuff. I would like to stay up on the phone with her all night, talking about nothing, something physical. It is emotional and I want that emotional connect. So yes, all I want to do is hold her hand.

Yes her fav color is blue. shut up hahahaha, i am not a hopeless romantic, cause i will have you know i  am not hopeless. i can be a  cynic  if i wanted to be. actually for a long time i was. but i think it just takes the right women to take a playa and tame change em'  into a the person that they know they can be. i think later this week, probably Sunday, i will post about my amazing summit that is happening this Saturday, if i survive. ( if you know about the great gay gathering it is like that but better cause i am there i i run some stuff with my  friends) you might be wondering what does she mean " if she survives " . well the first workshop i have to lead ( is extremely early in the morning in my mind for a Saturday but it is worth it) is with Skrill's best friend/ ex girl friend / protector, M, who i am horribly terrified of  ( not really cause Boss ( that is M's preferred gender pronoun) is actually really nice once you get pass the death looks and she is hot!!!! but that is not important). but i have a sleepover with Skrill the night before the summit so Boss might kill me. i will let you know.

see ya later. post comments. would love to here from yall, especially if you had a great Valentine's day or want to hear about my Valentine's day. what you all think of the Valentine posted for you guys. i hope you liked it. leave me comments, oh wait i think i already said that, oh well i can say it again. oh  hit me up if you live in the Chicago land area and are in grade school or high school and want to come to the summit. see you guys next week  ;)