This is an unedited blog about my thoughts, my life, and my experiences living it. I leave it unedited so I can actually watch myself grow. It forces me to acknowledge my mistakes and learn from them. Feel free to leave comments
10/23/20
skittles: the dragon and the lamb
I want to write about Hannibal (2013). And I want to write it like an academic paper. I don't know what type of academic paper yet. but I'm sure that I'll come to me through this stream of consciousness pre-paper post that I'm writing now. Hannibal has always been one of my favorite thriller storybook characters. I reference Hannibal a lot in relation to how lovely things as opposed to how I think. I have a weird appreciation of the sadistic and unhealthy. Not one that tortures out of malice because I think I find that quite boring. To be mean and flick pain just for the sake of being mean and to inflict pain is so common in humanity. However to have a unique mind like the character of Hannibal where not only are they always playing a game and the game always goes according to plan they are also very interested in the arts of the whole thing all while keeping the cover and staying steps ahead of everyone else. I'm impressed and intrigued by the ingenuity of it all. Moreover I'm drawn to the many idiosyncrasies that make his character stand out. Given how long humans have been around it would take so much to be an individual. In this day and age when there is more than 7 billion people to think of yourself as unique in any sense It's probably foolish. Maybe no one else is exactly like you and that in itself makes you unique but in the most blandest sense of the word. They might not be two first chair bassoon players who with a talent in geometry who how to raise pigs. But to be unique only because of the specific amalgamation of traits and not the trait it'self leaves little if any to be desired. And this is where and why my propensity for individualism tends to drive me towards the dark and perverse. How nice it must be, to be satisfied by the boring and mundane. And I'm not calling the show Hannibal interesting. I'm thinking of the grotesque allegories within the show. Part of me wants to write about all symbolism that there must be in it. For another part of me wants to write about the unhealthy love that Hannibal has for Will. I really want to dissect the relationship in this paper. If I do that I would be interpreting the entire show differently. Symbolism draws itself to a more individual perspective and says more about me than it does about the show cuz it's just how I interpret it. Whereas if I ground myself in the love story then it's a little bit of psychology while interpreting the show around a common motif. Neither are particularly special but it is where my mind goes. I think I would probably end up choosing a love story just because it aligns with my personal biases more. So keep an eye out for that in the next two weeks.
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