skittles: 3 months to go

Trying to be a better person for me has taken the form of improving my interpersonal relationships. I'm currently stuck on being better at boundaries, honesty, and confronting the issues. Currently the vibe is still weird with Lovely. I'm probably not going to fix that friendship and just have to let her know. It's not an issues I'm having with her. It is just me being dramatic. I don't know how to fix it either. I'm just going to get her the jacket and be done with it. But I have to tell her. I still haven't worked out what to say. Just the vibe is wierd and I can't handle it. Which sucks to say. The thought that you could wake up one day and just be done with a friend is the worst feeling. It's nothing they did either. I woke up different than when I went to sleep. That's all. I think at this point I'm trying to convince myself that's the answer. But even though that's how I feel I don't believe it. My logical way of thinking is having a hard time accepting my own feelings. I know feelings don't have to make sense but they feel right. I can't make this feel right because of the overwhelming initial feeling that is just so uncomfortable. I keep wanting to wait to tell her. I keep waiting for it to make sense or for my feelings to change but they haven't and it still doesn't make sense. I want to just mail her a letter cuz that's how I do everything but I'm suppose to be working on confronting things. So I'll just tell her. By the end of the year.