Joe is my youngest little Sib and he's away at University on a full ride scholarship. We are friends on Snapchat and I message him every once in awhile. It is Monday morning and I wanted share with you all the messages I sent him Sunday. Please enjoy.
*August 2017*
Now don't be entertaining those girls while you're away at college.
*February 2019 Joe is dancing at college entertaining those girls*
I didn't send you to college to entertain those girls
*I, his sister, did not send him at all because I am a sister not his mother and also don't own the university that gave him the scholarship*
Joe "You right. My bad"
Me: It's cold let's go to school in the Virgin islands they're offering free tuition. We could be roommates that never see each other.
Joe: You said girls in bikinis, cabana boys in tiny tight shorts, sandy beaches, and drinks with umbrellas in them?
Me: My bad. What I meant to say is that they quadrupled tuition and ended their scholarship program.
Joe: Oh. I understand autocorrect be on some bullshit.
*Joe playing Monopoly at midnight*
Ummmm.... What are you doing playing Monopoly instead of working towards only one? Let me talk to you second my man.I would like to inform you that you are in fact Black. Blackity blacking blackness, African American, negro * as Spanish word*, extra in Roots, R&B...lack, extra in the Color Purple, meanwhile somewhere in Wakanda, Morgan Freeman looks just like your grandpa and you don't know how old either of them is, you better put on a jacket, your eldest Aunt still looks 40, your parents listen to Motown, Soul Train, Super Fly, cocoa butter, cook good eat good, Black Twitter Black, your life matters black, bet awards, your parents talk about funk, Idris Elba looking ass, say it loud, the darker the berry the sweeter the juice and you're super sweet, has rhythm, visually fits in at any HBCU, the Black Power Fist, February is your history month, mom went to highschool with Michelle Obama and they got their hair done at the same place, as in here for known as forever and in perpetuity Black. As is such being the case your dad will not talk to Mr.Millhouse down the street and get you a nice sweet corner office like Chad. You will be lucky if Tyler the security guard lets your mailroom ass into the building.
Get you nose out of Brook's nether regions and put it in your goddamn school books. No they are not the same thing. One is a lot more expensive, harder to understand, convoluted, and slightly harder to acquire and it's not that girl Brook. Though they're both overpriced, will give you a headache, are illegal to steal and traffic, are easily confused by those who have subpar reading skills (or dyslexics), and base their value on some old white guy.
*Yes I did give hypothetical Brook daddy issues*
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