Skittles: my best friend is the GOAT!

Me: did you hear about Trump's space force?

Husband #7: No 😕

Me: I think we're (America's military) going to be the Sith now! I'm joining the dark side.

Husband #7: No! Be a Jedi. You know you should be a Jedi

Me: But the Sith have better toys and unlimited resources.

Husband #7: Yea, but they are EVIL!

Me: Their lightsabers are cooler.

Husband #7: No. They are dumb and unpractical.

Me: But if I designed a lifesaber, you know it would be extra for no reason. I also the Jedis don't have chocolate.

Husband #7: Yes they do!

Me: No. They're always lost, stranded, or poor. They're always eating space rations. There's no chocolate in space rations.

Husband #7: If you were a Jedi you would learn not to need chocolate.

Me: But I'm not a Jedi now. Jedi " Help stop corruption, injustice, and save the universe." Darkside " We have unlimited chocolate and unlimited money." And that is how I was convinced to join the Dark Side.
...

Husband #7: I don't ignore people.

Me: You ignore me all the time.

Husband #7: You deserve it!

Me: So does he!

Husband #7: No he doesn't. If I ignored you until Monday my phone catch on fire.

Me: So. Do it anyway.

Husband #7: That's mean, you fascist sith lord! You've ignored me for a week.

Me: First off, I ignore you for a month every year, get it right.

Husband #7: What?!

Me: Yes, every year in October.

Husband #7: J used ignore, it wasn't effective.

Me: How could you not notice?

Husband #7: I miss things in my life all the time.

Me: How could you miss a month of me not stressing you out?

Husband #7: You don't stress me out.

Me: awwww 😄 really?

Husband #7: No, not anymore. Only when you send my phone 37 messages, leave 10 voicemail, and 15 missed calls. I worry cause I think your dying or there is disaster. But its usually cuz you saw something cute.

Me: True but you need to know.

Husband #7: Or I'll get one very short text message that reads "so I'm thinking about cutting one of my fingers off... Maybe the ring finger?" And I'll call you and you don't answer for like 30 minutes.

Me: I'm busy making sure that's the right choice or looking for something sharp.

Husband #7: This is why I stress.

Me: You haven't noticed since 2012 that every year for a month that it stops?

Husband #7: Why you ignore me for a month anyway?

Me: The first year we were at University together you did something really small that pissed me off. I learned that if I didn't take time away from you every year I might try to kill you. Which would not end well for me.

Husband #7: You mean when I burnt your $0.20 rainbow bracelet.

Me: Yes.

Husband #7: So every year in anniversary of the bracelet you ignore me?😂

Me: No. I ignore you so I don't go all sociopath on you.

Husband #7: You might want to work on that.

Me: Are you dead?

Husband #7: No.

Me: Have I tried to kill you?

Husband #7: No. I'm a very nice person what did I do to bother you?

Me: You piss me off all the time. Don't let me run with scissors, make me vegetables, stop me from killing people, make me take vitamins, don't let me steal diamonds or Bugattis, and don't let me drunkly pilot aircrafts.

Husband #7: Your life sounds miserable.

Me: If you weren't being sarcastic I would say that you finally understood me. Its stressful. I try to out run the police in Prius and you don't let me. Then when I try to do it anyway you put me in a burka.

Husband #7: I'm such a monster. I can't wait to see you this weekend.

Me: I hate you too 😍