The Queer community encompasses a lot of identities. From my experience and understanding the identities can be broken up into the following groups: Sexualites (who you want to have sex with), Gender (pronouns and how you see yourself), Romantic attraction (who you romantically love), and Interest in Sex ( do you like to do it bunnies, or are you more like the giant Pandas). I was recently talking to another super queer activist about the Asexual community and that spectrum of identities. Unlike the first 2 identies I listed the Interest in Sex spectrum, often referred to as the Grey Scale, is still thought of in one dimension.
There are so many sexualites. I can obviously name the most common ones but I also can name a few we don't really talk about in mainstream space: Polysexual, Pansexual, Skoliosexual, Monsexual, Fluid, and Andro/Gyno sexual. (That's in no way all of them just the ones that come to mind) We don't really think of sexualites as a one dimensional line anymore that goes from hetro to homo. In its simplified form we think of sexual identies on a two or three dimensional cartesian graph (a graph with X axies and Y axies for two dimensions plus Z axies if doing three dimensions).
Gender can be a lot more complex. I know the gender identities that the average Millennial knows. I also know a number others that don't get much time in the spot light: Agender, Neutrois, Bigender, Genderqueer, Gender Fluid, Gender Variant, Gender Creative, Nonbinary, Intersex, Androgy, Demigende, Demi girl, Demi boy, Pangender, Omnigender, Stem (a mix of stud and fem), Boi, Gurl, Womxn, and Two Spirit. (Again this is not all of them, just the ones that come to mind) When I talk to other Queermos about Gender identities we tend to think of it as a gaseous ever expanding galaxy with lots of stuff in it. So think space, you have up, down, forward, and backwards. But also light, time, gravity, and probably more things we don't understand yet (like other dimensions and dark matter). Gender identities can be extremely complex so thinking of gender in terms of an ever expanding galaxy works.
Romantic identities are not as talked about but its easy to just treat them like sexual identities but instead of sex its your heart. Homoromantic means you are romantically attracted to people you perceive as the same gender as you. While Hetroromantic means you are attracted to: 1) people you perceive as opposite of your gender.
Or
2) people you perceive to not be the same gender as you.
*Side Note*
If you are Nonbinary you could be Hetroromantic if you liked people who you perceive to be one of the binary genders. The opposites of not binary would be binary. If you identify your gender as female then you could be Hetroromantic and like people you perceive as Agender, nonbinary, Intersex, male, and anyone you don't perceive as female. As long as they don't identify as female it's not the same gender thus could qualify as Hetroromantic.
**
There is one romantic identity that I know of that is not like the sexualites. Its demiromantic: little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong sexual connection is formed with said individual of interest. If we treat Romantic idenites like sexualites we basically think of them on that same two or three dimensional cartesian graph.
Grayscale is the most unknown group of idenites. As I said above I was talking to another super queer friend of mine and we could only think of the same six identities that would be in this group. Mind you, neither of us are super involed in the grayscale/ asexual community. We pay attention and are usually quick to find out any new words coming out of any of these groups. However, together the both of us know 5 people who identity as any of the 6 identities.
*Side Note*
When I say super queer I'm talking about culturally queer. Not gay, that's different. We think of Gay as what people who aren't part of any LGBTQ+ community think of when they think of the community. I would say super queer people spend most of their free time interacting people who are not Cis, hetro, Gay, rich, upper middle class, white, and/or lesbain. They are activist, artist, musicans, creative types, far left, feminist, radicals, and/or anarchists. They also identify as an/(some of the) identity(ies) in LGTQ+ dictionary. They have been actively part of the community for few years. They could help write the dictionary of terms. They recognize a majority of pride flags (they may not know which identity off the top of their head but they are that's a pride flag). They have taken the time to learn, are learning, and/or trying to learn our communities history. They try to stay current on our communities issues (everything from cake, muder of trans people, lost DACA children, death toll in Puerto Rico, etc its hard). They also have to try to keep up with learing new terms, flags, Icons, and media (art, TV, film, literature, etc)
**
Those six identities are as follows: Hypersexual, Sexual, Demisexual, Greysexual, Asexual, and Sex repulsed.
There is also Sexually Fluid, Grey Fluid, Grey Scale Fluid, or Grey Scale Flux, they all mean the same thing; a person goes between different Greyscale idenities, and/or experiences different intensity of sexual interest. With the current idenites and knowledge around the community Greyscale is seen as a one dimensional scale, 0-10 if you will. 0 being no sexual desire, Sex Repulsed, and Asexuals. Hypersexual being 10. Sexual, Greysexual, and Sexually Fluid being somewhere between 0 and 10. Demisexual is the outlier kinda. Demisexual: little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong romantic/emotional connection is formed with said individual of interest. So after romantic/emotional connection has been established they can be anything but zero, from my understanding of the identity.
The Greyscale community rarely gets brought up. Ignoring, forgeting that they exist, or denile/erasure is rampant for this community. Sexual interest can be simple but just like the rest of the groups it can be really complex. Why do we see it in such a cut and dry way? Short answer, we don't talk about the community like that. The majority of queers aren't being into the intricacies of this identity group. It was and still is hard to be homosexual. Lesbians still get men who tell them "You just haven't met the right guy yet." Bisexual get told " Its just a phase you'll make up your mind soonb enough." This happens to people who are sexual. If you say you don't really have an interest in sex you get all that plus sent to the doctor. There must be something wrong with an Asexual hormonally, mentally, or physically because who doesn't like sex? While it maybe true if someone doesn't like sex it could be do to trauma, pain, or lack of hormones it is just as possible they don't like sex. Queer culture is hypersexualized so I cannot begin to imagine the stigma an asexual must face with in our own community. A community that is suppose to support them and be accepting ends up shunning, shaming, and rejecting one of our own because we refuse to try to understand. We refuse to respect our greyscale people just the way they are. Outside of the queer community they face just as much hate, stigma, and rejection. What I've seen is that the Asexual community is extreme tight knit, hard to find (probably for good reason), and militant (also probably for good reason). They fiercely support each other because nobody else will or has. It is time for that to change. There is a lot wrong with the LGBTQ+. One of our biggest problems is that we refuse to accept our own. When I learned the acronym I was taught LGBTQA Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Asexual. I go to a conference called MBLGTACC. Since I've been attending there has been a movement fighting to get the A to stand for Asexual. I've always supported that because it makes more sense than current name Midwestern Bisexual Lesbian Gay Trans Ally Collegiate Conference. When ever we use the letter abbreviations and put the A in it stands for Asexual. Its rude, extremely dismissive, and erases the Asexual community. I honestly don't know why this is even up for discussion. A stands for Asexual, Aromantic, Agender, Androgyny, Androsexual, Androromantic but never Ally. This just shows the crap that they have to deal with within their own community. A major collegiate queer conference refuses to change the name to include fellow queers. They are choosing not queers over queers for a conference that supposed to prioritize queer people.
Pride was a riot about fighting for our own. By refusing to accept each other and kicking people out we are no longer proud. To get anything we've need to fight together. We don't need to get it. We don't have to agree with it. You live your life, let them live theirs. We must accept them. Asexual are queer and deserve to be part of the community just as much (probably more so) as a sexual cis white gay. I am a Bisexual Skolioromantic Nonbinary Fem presenting person and I'm proud to be in community with Greyscales people.
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