No matter what don't be a dick
There are a growing number of people annoyed by political correctness. They say people have become too sensitive, that people are offended and triggered by everything. Not to defend the offensive, but I have also seen a growing number of people using the word trigger wrong.
* Side Note*
A trigger is a word, smell, sound, statement, visual, place, person, or thing that brings back/ takes a person back to a dark time, traumatic event, and/or a dark place in their mind and can/does cause symptoms of PTSD. Just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it's a trigger. For example walking on my little brother having sex would make me uncomfortable and slightly nauseous. Watching a rape scene from a movie could be a trigger for survivors of sexual violence.
**
On the other side of the extreme you have people who think we need to remove all insensitive statements from our culture. The following is a short list of what they would like us to be more politically correct about: race, gender, sexuality, ability status, religion, and citizenship status. Not to defend the defensive but a lot of times I see people who are not part of marginalized communities think it okay to make offensives jokes because they can make that joke with their friend.
Today I'm going to be talking about racism and homophobia. I am black and indigenous. I am bisexual. I grew up in the Latinx queet community. Here the Latinx people accept me as one of them in their queer Community. I would also like to point out there's a difference between discrimination/bigotry and racism or homophobia. A black person in America can't be racist. Racism is a system setup that inherently benefits one race and inhibits, disenfranchises. legally discriminate, and/or otherwise creates disparities in equality and equal opportunity for other races. Homophobia is very similar. An indigenous person can discriminate and be a bigoted towards white people. Calling white people cracker maliciously refusing to invite or let participate the white neighbor to the outdoor block party happening on a public street is discrimination. However, not letting white people, or other races for that matter, into The National Society for Black Engineers is not. It's a private group and it gets to decide what qualifies as basis for admission to the group.
I think every American is racially biased to some degree. I cannot speak for the rest of the world, but here in the states racial bias is ingrained to our society and culture. I'm not saying every white person is a Charleston fascist, racist Nazi. I know plenty of abuelas that share similar views of black people. I know a lot of black people who don't trust asians and think they are inherently smarter. I know a lot of people from many different racial background that try very hard to view people equally when it comes to race. However, even the most politically correct American is still racially bias, just unconsciously. I'm going to give you a few scenarios.
One it's night time and you're a woman and you see a group 4 men standing on the corner in a decent neighborhood. It's a residential street. They're wearing jeans that are not sagging, Nike sneakers, and t-shirts with the Bulls logo on them. Do you cross the street or do you walk past them? For me if they're black or latino I'm crossing the street. If they are asian, middle eastern, pacific Islander, indigenous, or white I would just walk past them. I've noticed this about myself when it comes to who I think is safe.
You work for Amazon in Chicago. You are having a meeting in Conference Room 1 at 10 a.m. with Thomas here from the New York City office. Picture Thomas in your head. What race is he? I purposely left out his last name so that it would be more difficult to think about. I thought Thomas might be white, asian, or middle-eastern. Thomas is one of those names that every race on the basic census form names a son. It could have literally been any race.
In Chicago a cop name to Joseph shot an unarmed man named James at the beach. It is unclear what lead officer Joseph to draw his weapon. There are many conflicting accounts. What race is Officer Joseph? White right? What race is James? I said black, latino, middle eastern, or a brown asian.
You make these assumptions not because we're trying to be racially biased but because this is what is usually the case. Is usually the case because of the racist systems in place and the media's perpetuation stereotypes.
So yes I am racially bias and most the time I'm actively trying to unlearn that bias. Being racially biased causes me to miss out on opportunities and can cause actual harm. With my friends and family though I will make racist jokes. Does that make me a bigot? I don't think so. I think if I was making the joke maliciously, if my friend or family member was actually offended, or if it was just not funny then I would be a bigot. Slight side story. In South Africa during apartheid, and still now apparently, white South Africans would call black people Keffir. Basically the South African version of the word Nigger. I have a queer black South African friend who calls me Queen Kaff, kaff being short for kaffir. I knew this when you started calling me this. I wasn't offended though, kaffir carries no racist intent for me. He's not using it trying to hurt me. For him he gets to reclaim a word and make it powerful and empowering. Similarly, I called one of my gays that I mentor Gaysha. He is Taiwanese not Japanese and he knows I know this. He is not offended by the name and actually likes it because he says it allowed him to be slutty and more effeminate. I call some of my latinx queer bruja instead of bitch. I call out all of my friends of color when they're being too white. I remind my white friends how white they are. I only do this with my friends and I would never do this with strangers. All of my friends know its coming from a place of love. The racist jokes or comments I make are funny because they usually hold true for my friends. Most of my friends of color are so proud of their Heritage and culture. At the same time they are trying to be radical about it and not fall into the stereotypes. So it's funny when we catch ourselves acting stereotypically on accident or because we actually enjoy that particular stereotype. In the sense of using derogatory terms from one culture like Mexican culture and using it for someone who's Columbian is usually meant to be endearing. I am not Japanese and I would never call any East Asian person Geisha maliciously or try to make a joke about it. I called the gay that I mentor Gaysha because when I met him he wasn't slutty but really want it to be. He was shy, not super confident in himself, and worried about being too feminine as a gay man, especially as a gay Asian man. I saw geishas as sexually liberated, confident, and still super feminine women. To me they prove that you can be powerful confident and very feminine at the same time. So I gave him that nickname to empower him and it did.
On sexuality I'm a little more cautious. The queer ommunity still fighting for a rights. Thus I generally only make jokes about men who like men, women who like women, and lots of bisexual puns. When my straight guy friends look really nice I usually say something along the lines of " on a scale from 1 to 10 on fuckableness you look gay." Gay is higher than a 10. I always tell my straight guy friends they need to get more comfortable in their sexuality and get more queer friends. It would greatly improve the quality of their life. I do the same thing with my brother whenever he looks nice. When my actual gay friends do something slightly gay, like sing along to Gaga, I say "GAAAAAAY!" I make jokes about lesbians hiking and owning cats. Nobody's ever offended because everybody knows I'm not a bigot. If anybody is offended by anything I say, always apologize and don't say it again.
Not everyone can say the same things I can. Straight white guys can't make queer jokes, call each other women
* Side Note*
Unless it's in an empowering way. If one straight guys trying to get their other straight guy friend to get the courage to go do something it is appropriate to say channel your inner badass feminist female lioness. If your friend is being annoying by complaining about a slight pain it is okay to tell them to work through it like women work through their day while having cramps**
, or make jokes about other races (even if it's positive it comes off as fetishizing and exoticizing). Straight white guys can make jokes about how fragile masculinity is, call each other really white, make fun of white male politicians ( without insulting them physically, reaffirming toxic masculinity, perpetuating rape culture, being sexist, being racist, insulting their religious beliefs, or being homophobic), make jokes about white fragility, and be satirical about how the system built by other white males unfairly benefits them. Why? America still set up in discriminatory ways. Also systems like redlining that are now illegal are still causing problems even though abolished. As a general rule of thumb you can make jokes about those more privileged than you in a certain category or people with just as much privileges you in a certain category. If you are on the less than side you can make jokes about the greater than side in a non-harmful and non-hateful way. See the over simplified list below:
White> other races
Male> other genders
Heterosexual> other sexuality
Rich> other economic classes
Remember DON'T BE A DICK!!
