Skittles: Amoriartii withdrawl

This weekend is Amoriartii's birthday and I have been cordially invited to thier birthday dinner.  At first I didn't want to go.  I really couldn't be bothered with the fact that they still love me. I had even already called them and told them I couldn't go.  But then I was sitting on the bus listening to music when Mirrors started playing.  I've always loved this song for Amoriartii and I. We were the epitome of the lyrics and the meaning of the song.  The chourse of the song by Justin Timberlake goes:

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm looking right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Coming back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me

We have spent three years together and planned for forever together.  When we look at each other we just see a reflection of the best of ourselves. We occupy a space in each other's world that no one else can fill. A spot we didn't know was missing until it was filled and we were suddenly whole. It's a space I thought they would always hold. If I can make this friendship work, it's a space I know I will always hold in thier world.  We bring out the best in each other always. We work to be our best for each other.  We made each other stronger by forcing the other to want to face thier fears. Standing by the other's side through the good and bad.  Cheering the other on when they are winning and encouraging the other when they are losing.  We always come back to each other.  When it gets ugly, when one person tries to leave,  when one of us gets scared and runs, we always end up back together. We have been right in front of each other this whole time and the love has always been there.

I want to give it more time and get more space from Amoriartii before I do anything rash. But I don't think this love will die.  I don't think the intensity will lessen over time. I think this will be the first time I go back to someone. I think this will the last time I try and leave them if I do go back.  But I want to try to get over them.

I want it to be over so bad.  I've hurt so much.  But if I let go of the pain all I have is the everlasting joy they bring to my life. The small moments that have ment so much more to me. The times we've danced, the times we've been silly,  all the times we've brought a smile to the other's face.  Sometimes I would look at them, even when I was livid with them or so hurt, and think to myself  they are the love of life. 

Looks like this chapters not quite over yet