12/27/14

Skit: family matters

I spend most of my time talking about gender, sexuality, or the soap opera that is my life. What I rarely bring up is the fact that I am black. I talk about race issues but I never really talk about how I see race or how I feel as a person of color.  I've always though that the phrase of color was odd. Paintings are full of color the, different vases of color. People aren't of color because every person has a color and there does not exist a race of not color. White people aren't white they are pinkish. Ask a white child to draw themselves on black paper they don't use the white crayon the use the pinkish flesh like one, but I digress. I guess I've always felt more apart of the queer community than I do the African American one. Thus I don't feel as if I am qualified to speak about it. Yes I am black and I do have more if am authority to speak about the black community than a random not black person. However it's still a community and you have to be part of it to be an authoritative voice for it. Someone who is part of the community regardless of color of skin is more qualified to speak about the African American community than I am. More qualified still is African American member of the community. So I don't often talk about black issues. But recently my father asked me why I don't feel part of the African American community? I suppose it would be because of the values that I associate the current African American community with. Excluding anyone who is not for my generation, specifically talking about the young African American community I have very little in common with them. They don't value eduction; they are not dreamers or go getters; they have very little respect for each other; they do not value etiquette; they don't respect themselves; loyalty is all talk and never practiced; and family means almost nothing. I think I would fit in better with the old African American community, the way things used to be. From the stories I hear they were respectful, tight-knit, and valued information and education. The family and religion was also very important. Family is so important to me, I would do anything for my siblings. It means something when I call somebody part of my family. I have 5 adopted siblings, 1 half brother, younger step sister, and two God brothers. As far as I'm concerned there are my blood siblings, and I am bound to them. I will love them, respect them, help them, and never turn my back on them. I have two gay families. One with my fairy godmother and  fairy godfather. The other with my 3 gay dads, 3 lesbian aunts, 2 queer husbands, 2 kids, lesbian uncle, lesbian sister, straight mom, and bisexual cousin. We look out for each other. My gay families are my gay support system for all things queer in my life. I gravitate towards the gay community for its tendency to set up family networks and support systems. Everywhere you look in the queer community you will find family groups. In the ball scene, on the drag scene, in everyday support group, and centers. Even in the mentorship program I've become a mother or big sister to my mentees. From what I experienced in the young African American community they don't want more families because they from broken ones. Families that have let them down. (but again this is only my observation as a non member of the community) I will partake in communities that fit my identities based on whether or not I identify with their values. Identify with family and it has lead me to a lot of wonderful communities.

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