I don't want to be playa no more. not that i was ever a playa. why am i lying i am and was playa.(played everyday at recess and i was big pimpin' on the football field) actually through i think i was cuz thats what all my guys friends called me, the girls had another name for me but i will leave that up to your imagination. but now i am at a different place in my heart right now ( because i think i am still in the same place in my life). but everybody sees it as the same. before i would get with some one and have a few on the side talking to a few more on the other side. i was never ever lonely, even when i traveled, got ohs in different area codes ya feel me. and said endeavors lasted no longer than 3 months max that means i could have 4 main different "pronoun-friends"a year with countless interchangeable sides. but i am not feeling that right now. but then every one screams out you have had nine different crushes in the past month. no no no that is not true there were only 6. and yes that is a lot but i am available so i can like and chat with who ever i want. i know and you guys know i am really just in love with one girl. i just would not be mad if i couldn't spend it with her and i had to spend my summer with one of the 5 other people. so in my opinion i'm not a playa i just crush a lot. A playa is, the old me, a known heart breaker who no one can tie down. they are fun to be with for a while because its exciting with them just don't catch feelings and don't think you can change them. because you can't they have to meet a person they want to change for then they, probably after losing said person, will change. but a person who falls easy is normally a romantic who can see something lovable and attractive in almost any one. so they often rush into relationships that don't last and soon realize that this is not what they wanted and have to end it. they don't change either they just eventually end up with the right person it is like battle ship almost. after enough misses you will get a hit. i mean i wouldn't say i am falling in love with every person i meet but there are people i notice mostly because they deserve my attention but just because there is something that make these five people special and it just isn't in every one else. like the guy i met in guard class, ( my best guy friend Q calls him jay) Jay, we click and it is almost like looking in a mirror and i have learned to trust him faster than i have anyone else. like i would trust him with my life ( i mean i had to for class but i wasn't scared like everybody else was with their partners) my friend Q calls him Jay because he say that jay sounds like the guy version of me. Q writes my name like this Jey (cuz i am girl ant that is how the girl version would be spelled as not to confused it with the masculine version) but jay is mad cool like i think we are the same person some times it is crazy but i like. any way song time not a playa
Prom!!!!!!! is this week wish me luck because i need it i am new to all of the feminine crud and i don't exactly know what i am doing. but hopefully i will make it through the might. prom is Friday 6/8. am super excited hopefully the next post will be about how awesome it was. and how i am looking forward to graduating, FINALLY!!!! these past two weeks have been the most painstakingly slow and stressful process ever. but it is almost over all i have to do is not fail. seems easy enough but the easy stuff always turns out to be a trick question then you fail. so i hope i pass because i could not do any of this over again. i have no more fucks to give. they have all been spent. i need to take a break preferably in the summer and recharge. right now my head feels like these smarty. swear if this last week doesn't hurry up and get here this is what is going to happen. except instead of candy it will be my sugary brain matter.
stay fierce
Prom!!!!!!! is this week wish me luck because i need it i am new to all of the feminine crud and i don't exactly know what i am doing. but hopefully i will make it through the might. prom is Friday 6/8. am super excited hopefully the next post will be about how awesome it was. and how i am looking forward to graduating, FINALLY!!!! these past two weeks have been the most painstakingly slow and stressful process ever. but it is almost over all i have to do is not fail. seems easy enough but the easy stuff always turns out to be a trick question then you fail. so i hope i pass because i could not do any of this over again. i have no more fucks to give. they have all been spent. i need to take a break preferably in the summer and recharge. right now my head feels like these smarty. swear if this last week doesn't hurry up and get here this is what is going to happen. except instead of candy it will be my sugary brain matter.
stay fierce
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