a raw poem.

The time has come
To stand or fall
To see if you really mean it when you say
You only live once
Lets see who is alive today
So if you have the spine.pain away
If life doesn't give you lemons
You still got to make your lemonade
When it is all said and done 
will you be  the one
Who will be on the death bed
Able to say
Its my life
And i lived every bit of it
The i wanted to
Will you?
when walking on egg shells
Are you willing to crack some of those eggs
the time came
And they called your name
Did you shout it out loud
No
Nothing but a faint whisper came out
Sold your dreams for the money 
Confessions of a sellout

Bon Jovi  (been it a  bit of a Jovi mood lately i like it)

I became my own worse enemy. i got scared and back down from what i truly believed in in my heart. Part of me wants a vacation from struggling and clawing all the time. Even through my hearts not in doing it the this way even though it is easier it just seemed so impossible to do it the way i wanted to. i guess i would have figured it out in the end but  easy can't be so bad right. How miserable could i be with a silver spoon in my mouth. i guess i just keep going back to this wasn;t my choice. This wasn't how it was suppose to be. this is my life but now i don't feel like i am living it any more. but now that i am on this road i have to see where it goes and make the best of it. Maybe i can make my parents dream mine.

oh by the way queer prom is this week. i wrote this last week and was kinda depressed about stupid things but it is a whole week later when you will be reading this so i should be in a better mood. you use to be two weeks behind but i had nothing to write about last week so i didn't because i didn't have too. so you're getting closer to my actual life in real time. you should be caught up by the 16 cuz i will not be writing this week ( 6-12) i have AP tests.  i don't know what i am doing for cinco de mayo but i will be doing something cuz i like food and i like to party. so i will tell you guys what i did if I ended up doing something. i will also tell you what happened at queer prom. stuff is getting pretty heavy at school. i have about a month left. Which is fine but that means i have less time to spend with the people i love. ( my love circle and some of my school friends ) i have about a month and  3 weeks of summer between when i graduate and when i move into my dorm. That's just not enough time. I need more time.  There is so much to do.

 Got to stay Fierce