Skittles: and they began to eat their feelings

I did this. I always get mad at my friends who act hurt after they broke up with someone. It was their choice.  It was my choice to break up with Cyborg and now I'm moping. I don't think I'm sad over losing Cyborg but I miss having a person. I get lonely quickly, being so extroverted, I need people. Before I would spend my time traveling to see friends or hanging out with friends at home. However, daddy dearest has taken away my travel privileges while I'm in school. I can only travel during breaks. So my only option now is to work, do lots of activism, and spend time with my home friends. Yet even in knowing this, with all of my spoons ready to be used on this, I, in all of my infinite wisdom, decided to eat my feelings instead. Now given that I barely eat as is, due to my medication not by choice, it is refreshing to know that emotional turmoil trumps chemicals. Also I have been teetering on the line of healthy and under weight. If I lost too much I would be taken off a med that I like and that I feels works for me and we would begin the long guess and check process of finding a replacement. I don't want to do that. It takes forever because it usually takes between a month and six weeks for the meds start working the way that they're intended to. Then you go on a month observation to see if they work.  Then you might play with the dosage and start from beginning again.  If that doesn't work you start the whole process over with a new drug. So as I began to fall into the under weight side of the line I just so happened to brake up with Cyborg. Thus causing my lonelyness and other feelings I can not name, even with my feelings chart. I could deal with them work towards growing the meaningful relationships in my life. I might eventually get there. But instead I'm going to eat. One because I need to. Two I'm not ready to go be social every weekend unitl November. Its too dam early to start that.  Come talk to me in April and maybe by then I'll be ready to start my summer vibe. But it's February, too early for that nonsense. I can manage once a month maybe twice. I've already exceeded that for February. I've had 2 wine nights,  and partied two weekends in a row. I went out every weekend this month.  I am going to spend March in the house eating, to over correct in the opposite direction. Except for the fact that my spring break is in March and I'm going to travel because I've been deprived. I'm going to cook and eat the rest of the time though because feelings are stupid and I'd rather not deal with them in a healthy and mature manner.