Skit: Crosses and Queers

I was recently asked a very important question by one of my friend. I am calling it important not because it was life changing or mind boggling but because it was a good question.  My very Christian friend Q asked me as a homosexual Christian how do I feel about what religion say about my sexuality. I personally hate talking about religion because it is a touchy subject for most.  But Q and I have been best friends and homies and bros for 4 yrs now so I can talk to him about anything even religion. I am also going to share with you guys because I get to talk and you read it and you may think whatever you want to think about me but you folks never leave me comments so I will never know how you feel.   You could scream at me and yell and call me all sorts of names but I will never know until you leave me a comment so.  I answered Q ‘s question by saying simply this:" it is hard to believe in a book that has been warpped and reworked by corrupt men.  At one time the bible was once against people of color and if you take it in a literal since it is still against women. According to the bible women still have little to know rights the man is supposed to run everything because women are feeble minded and weak. Come on now Adam vs. Eve.  However there is hope for Christianity because religion does change with the time just changes very slowly. Just like the bible no longer has those racist over tones ( it still has racist under tone but most people do see it) one day it might not be so homophobic. but for now when I go to church I realize that things have been changed and it is not the original word and most of what is in the bible is left up to interpretation."  I believe in God and I have a strong relationship with God. So sometimes it is harder to identify as a Christian because I am Queer it is a lot easier to be spiritual just because of what other Christians say. I don’t have many problems with the religion and the teaching over all because a lot of them are positive.  Yes the religion has problem and I don’t agree with everything it says or other Christians say but what I have grown up with and understand about it, I like it. ( i know that sounds very contradictory what i am trying to say is i like the majority of what Christianity  is about/ what i understand it to be and because i can't remove what i dislike i am going to say yes it has problem but for the most part its cool with me) Now my Christianity isn’t everybody’s so there are just something’s I don’t do but I have made it work for me just like other people have made it work for them. So I do feel like i can be Queer and religious without the two being at odds. What do you all think?

Hey hey, I am moving in to my apartment today.  This past week has been a super stressful one.  I had a trunk party but it didn’t turn out how it was supposed to. My dad built it up to be something really awesome, where everyone gives you lots of money and stuff. However it wasn’t like that at all.  Out of the 150 (and all of them where my dad’s friends) people that where invited only 20 something of them showed up. I invited 8 people and 4 showed so I was happy. But even out of the 20 people who came I didn’t get 20 gifts. It was the craziest thing because they came ate all the food and the cake, drank up all the drinks (my dad served alcohol) then left without giving me anything. I was very upset if you go to a party where the whole reason for the party was to get gifts then you need to give something before you eat up all the refreshments. Unless you’re a child like my friends are and they even got me cards. The cards where funny as hell and I think I am going to take them to college with me because I really like them. Any way since my trunk party was a bust so with what little money I had gotten i had to work on a very strict budget. I have over 100 things to get to have my dorm but the problem is a lot of my items cost $50 each which doesn’t help when two of my must have items ate $150. What I decided to do is get all my kitchen items first then I’ll do my bathroom accessories fallowed by my safety stuff like computer locks, bike locks. Then last but not least I’ll have to do my office supplies. Hopefully all goes well. I just have so many lose ends to tie up shit bout to get busy lol. No scratch shit bout to get real. I mean I still don't feel like it’s real yet I am sitting here on my bed and I swear it’s not real. I mean I'm not worried or scared just anxious I have a little bit of first day jitters. My first day is next so I have a week to adjust which should be enough time. It has to be enough time. I’ll work some things out and then the next post will probably be the last Sunday post and after a week of school I will report back on Saturday with a new schedule. no music this week sorry :(.  ( i actually did have a song but i can't remember how it goes or any of the words it is like on of those i would know if herd it type songs)

Stay Fierce yo 

skitt: Ponies

THIS POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PONIES PASS THIS POINT. if your looking for ponies to dang bad. i am calling this ponies because it is about the committee i am on and this will probably be the most random post i have written thus far. bare with me. i was going to talk about the educational things i learned at action camp but all that is boring and it really wasn't the highlight of my 24 hours, what really stole the show was a good convo with a friend.(i was only able to stay at camp for 24 hrs camp was from noon on Friday to.3 pm on saturday) i feel like at queer youth events you learn formal things like how to make systematic change and politically correct  language. trust me it is all fine and dandy, but a lot of young people don't want to be activist. some want to do exactly what i did. be away from home among other young people who are Queer, they want to feel a since of community. they want to have people they can talk to for hours and hours. personally i think it is just as important to go to these events to learn things and network.  the whole thing is i really wasn't suppose to go to action camp in the first place due to the fact that i am having a party on saturday and i am the only person who can do anything in my house. so my dad been trying to force everything on me and i just had to flat out tell him no on somethings. so after i finished running errand for my father i was already 3 hours late to action camp so i missed all the educational stuff for the day. i was really on there for the party and the late night conversation. running back and forth between my apartment and my friend's, trying not to get caught, and basically spending the night in my friends room was what i spent most of action camp doing. because of that i feel like my fellow committee member became a life long friend and that is what my take away from action camp is. now granted since i wasn't suppose to be there i got in a shit load of trouble with my dad. (he is so pissed off) but i really don't care because it is one of those things where you go dam i am going to get in a lot of trouble but it will all be worth it in the end.  i have learned so much from being on the committee i figured it was time to do some networking, you know talk to someone. you wouldn't believe  the things to fellow activist who struggle with race have in common family wise. the point is learn and talk. work and play. maintain this golden balance of sorts. i have been on the committee for about a year now and i can point to this one day that has made a relationship that i hope i will be able to keep because i truly cherish it. no i am not in a relationship with this person we are just friends but friendship is a relationship too. friendships often take more work than regular relationships i mean they last longer too so that might have something to do with it. guess what i am trying to say in the post is go to thing  and learn  but also make connections. and if you have the chance to do something worth while but you know you will get punished for it do it any way, just as long as its all worth it.

SKIT: rainbow life

So it has been brought to my attention that I am discriminating based on sexual orientation but not in the way one would think. I try to be open and accepting of all people not matter what. Unless they are hateful close minded people then I try not to spend too much time on them. Never the less I have been unknowingly limiting myself, because all my friends are gay. Of course not all of my friends are queer however the ones I hang out with and really talk to are. It wasn't always this way. Actually when I was in school my group of friends was ever changing and quite divers. I hung out with everybody from the jock to the stoners I knew somebody from every group and spent my fair share of time with each (except the stoners we only kicked it in school). I used to joke with some of my female friends that they all where lesbians and they don't even like to kiss girls, yet. I think by the end of my 4th year most of my friends where so secure in who they were and so libeler that I had to change it to all my friends are freakin' homosexuals and they don't even like glitter. However now that I am in transition between schools that statement has become less of me mocking them about mocking me and more of the truth. I am a nerd so I speak in numbers so here are some stats for you. 1 in 10 is supposed to be gay. I have about 170 actual friends on Facebook thus not including myself 17 of them are supposed to be queer. Such is not the case about 76 of them are queer that is a little less (9) than half that's more than 4 times the statistical average. All I could say is what the hell. Why am I so gay? What really got me was it is those 75 people who I really talk to who are represented in my photo albums. Somehow in a few months I have managed to lose single-handedly all the diversity in my life and it is shameful. I still have a few friends but it isn't enough. Life isn't worth living unless it is as vibrant and as vivid as all the colors of rainbow, and you can't complete the rainbow if you are missing part of its spectrum. Whether it is sexual orientation, creed, color, nation, religion, or anything else that makes us different we need all we need to embrace that about each other just the same. I don't think our difference create a void as much as they do fill in the whole that we had with new knowledge and information. So I am going to work on re diversifying my life and yall can work on yours.

so i know all of you are wondering J skittles what have you been doing with your life this pass week. well the answer is nothing. absolutely nothing. but i did/ will go to a night club on the 2nd super excited. i honestly can wait to shake it. it's not often i get to act this trashy and loose. yeah night club!!!! um lets see what else. umm i have 3 weeks to stop fucking cursing so dam much but shit be hard as fuck. i have learned more than enough about the people around me these pass few days enough to last a life time. i have also changed my mind about certain people, things i thought would not happen in this life time. what i have taken away from all of that is when people tell you thing it is perfectly fine just to say okay and keep going on with life for like a day or two. stuff kinda chills if you leave it be then it is almost easier to talk about. wow this part was really random my bad, i usually like to have some sort of flow i don't know what the hell happened this week. any way this week's song is a club jam scream! and today photo is bing's interpretation of the words rainbow life, cool shit right?

ps. 
so sorry that this didn't post on time i deff set it but i guess  the internet be janky. lol just kidding. um, i actually don't know why it didn't post. i have to work on that before i go to college.

Stay Fierce 

Skitt: emergency post, Gabby

Hey guys I wanted to speak quickly on something that I hold near and dear to my heart. Though the subject is closer to the top of my body. I hope that all of you who have been fallowing gymnastics part of the Olympics know who this fabulous young lady is. Also if you have been fallowing the media surrounding her you should know that she has her fair share of haters. You can read it here click me. Basically there are some people in America who are more interested in looks than the athletics (which is crazy because the Olympics are about athleticism) I am personally outraged by this because as a black female athlete I also struggle with people making comments about my looks. (I am not trying to compare myself to Gabby but I can say that I have experienced the same comments) I am a swimmer and diver, when I dive people can see my hair because I dive without a cap. I also have natural hair meaning I have never had chemicals (perm, relaxer, etc.) and I do not put weave in my hair because it makes my head unbalanced. (I know it’s wired but I can feel the weight difference). Like Gabby instead of comments on my performance or my talents as an athlete they talk about my hair. Excuse me????? What did you say? Are you really telling me that this young lady isn't perfect enough for you because of her hair? What is wrong with her hair, that’s what I want to know? Her hair looks just like the other gymnast. It is in a tight pony tail which is really hard to see because your eyes are naturally drawn to how epic she looks in this photo. Nobody talks about all the other female black athletes and how their hair looks (there are 52 other women about 30 of them are on track and field). It has been my personal experience that the people making these comments are other black women who by the way are not athletes. Most of them don't want to do anything to break a sweat because it will ruin their hair. (And because they don't work out they are often unhealthy but they make the sacrifice because they want their hair to look good) how can someone tell me to give up doing what I love to look better. I don't care what Gabby's hair looked like she could have rocked a fro if she felt like it, all I care about is if she is coming home with some metals. Black hair is strong and often temperamental it takes a lot to control and manage it. It also takes a lot of time. For me it takes 6 hours from start to finish doing my hair. I just don't have that kind time I would rather be in the pool or hitting the board. I am sorry my hair isn't my priority and I don't think it's Gabby's either. You can ask her when she gets back from the Olympics the competition she has been training for, for the past four years. Training which required her to move to Iowa away from her family for three years. But yes ask her about her hair.  I AM NOT MY HAIR

Stay Fierce