Skit: a pale shade of blue

I do find it difficult to describe the exact color my feet turn when i wear my black walking shoes. The best color that i can think of is a very soft pale aqua. Like the color of the pool where i work. When i take a handful  of pool water it still has a faint blue tint to it, it isn't perfectly clear like you would think it should be. The bottom of my feet turn a similar color. Remember when i told you my feet where spray painted blue? My shoes where also painted blue. I managed to get all the blue off my feet, however when lighter fluid is the solvent used you tend to not want it on your walking shoes.( you know just in case i step on some fire cuz i would do some random dangerous stuff like that). So every time i wear my shoes my feet turn blue. Which was okay cuz its just the bottom of my feet no one sees that part. But its funny at work when i walk around in  flip-flops or bare foot i seem to notice it more. And when you get in to a deep stare everything becomes really philosophical ( even the hip-hop music playing in the back round drake) it was like damn reality just set in and i wasn't as okay as i thought i was. It was extremely late but whatever i guess i suffer from extreme delayed heart brake syndrome. It took something as simple as pale blue feet to show me what in the back of my head i already knew. You ever notice how it isn't the major things that reminds you of them like pictures or videos of them. It is the small irritating things that seem so irreverent at the time, Like pale blue feet. I think i was dam near livid at the time, that she ( the girl i liked) painted my feet blue. But now i want nothing more that to go back to that time and cherish that moment. I can't lie i really want her in my life so i will take her how ever i can get her but damn i am crazy about this girl. I have worked all summer and i am actually writing this at work ( these little kids better not drown cuz i am to busy to save them i mean i'm writing here come on) and i just want to say i feel like i have missed so much ( there hasn't been much to miss but i feel like what little there was, was defiantly important). Because i thought at the beginning i wanted da money and da hoes and dats it. But i don't. The money's nice i mean i just got paid yesterday and it felt pretty dam good to put a nice chunk of money in my account i felt like a boss. But i miss my friends and being lazy sleeping till noon spending time with her ( even through i was never able to say what i really felt to her face) miss being a dork around her.  I miss it all so much. I hope that when summer is over i don't regret the decisions i have made in the pass 6 months. I let her go because i told myself it was the right thing to do i am going off to college for gosh sake now isn't the time to start a relationship. But i can't help but fall more hopelessly in love with her as each day pass. (My heart obviously hasn't grasped the concept of logic or reason) I try to live without regrets but i find it is getting harder to do as i get older. Because i feel like a life with the few regrets is the most successful one, and i just want to be successful. When i grow up I want to be successful with blue feet. ( and a pale shade of blue for the bottom)

i hate it when my friends un-friend me with no notice or anything like that. when i do stuff like that i at least send out a mass message to everybody and i will re-friend you if you ask me to.  but what really hurt my feelings is i was planning to do something nice for my friend. Remember i was in a theater group, well they are putting on a play that opened on Friday. at least 4 of my friends are in that play and one has a lead role. i was going to buy them a rainbow rose baroque to give them after the play but not now. i am just going to go and then leave they can kiss flowers love and lies  goodbye. it is so sad i love these guys and they do not reciprocate the feelings. i spent months and months getting to know these people. i feel stabbed in the back something like Julius Caesar. however after today i am not going to stress about it. i am going to try to be an adult about the situation and not let high school like drama pull me down to that level. i am a college student now i should have college like drama. the rest of my life is non existent. it is so bad that i work so much. my co-workers through are so bad ass. i have so much fun with them one day i will take some pictures of the crazy stuff we do. today we had a lean wit it rock wit it line. some days ago we had a water fight. it was cray. i guess i have a life at work but it would be nice to have a life outside the job too. i feel kinda like the cops on tv lol. the beat be wearing me out. another day another dollar through.

Stay fierce