Love and sex and magic

I’m going to be real with yall for a second. I wasn’t going to do a post today. I mean I had a topic but I just could not bring myself to write about it. I tried but I hated everything I wrote. Or my phone deleted what I was typing. So I was like fuck it maybe it just isn’t meant to be.  But I think the reason I was having such a hard time writing was because I am was having a hard time believing sex isn’t better than love. I wouldn’t say that I am afraid of love; I would say I am afraid of the consqucens of it.  if you have ever been in love more than twice then I know you understand. It gets harder and harder to trust, open up, and accept love because you don’t want to go back to the dark place of heart break. So you live your life in this neutral state. (which honestly sucks so much)  After you have gotten over heart break you spend some of you time living your life yada yada yada. Then after a while you start to miss being in love only now your jaded. You want the desserts without the fat, the sweet first bite without the bitter after taste. You remember the great time about being in love but the vivid memories of the destruction after keep you at bay. So this is what I see I lost of people doing. They fall in love with someone who is also madly in love with them but they keep them at arm’s length, or when things start getting serious they sabotage the relationship.  Then they go out and have lost of mindless mind blowing sex because they can. Why? Because safe protected sex come without the strings. There are no feelings so no one can get hurt. Sex is just that and nothing more and when you’re young often time that’s enough, you just want to have fun and get off. And that was my mind set earlier this week, I am young I don’t want or need love I just want to have fun. Thus in my head sex: 1 love: 0 and that’s not a bad mind set to have if you’re not hurting those around you. But here is where the magic comes in. because whenever there is love and sex there has to be magic it is one of those rules of 3 I swear. People are often stuck in their ways like sticks in the mud and it take a lot of effort and will power for a person to change their ways, or some magic. Like me, I am a very opinionated person. I don’t change my mind like ever. I decide on something and it is set in stone for the rest of my life.  I had recently made up my mind about a friend of mine that I would never date him. Well now I kind of fancy him. And I blame magic. We went to see the dark night last night but it was honestly feels like a few hours ago. (It is probably because I just woke up but never the less) in my professional relationship consular opinion we were playing footsies in the theater. (I think he won) any way it was probably the funnest cutest thing I have done in a while (which sounds a lot worse than it should) but that game of footsies was nothing short of magical, because then I had a dream. It was the stupidest dream ever.  (but still a very powerful magical dream which I totally regret dreaming) It was just about us talking in the car and we had stopped talking for whatever reason, nothing bad, and he reached out to hold my hand. So now my bones are charmed and I am just smitten. And it’s not too bad yet but I can feel the happy high coming and I am just shaking my head like what I have fallen into. So I guess the final score would be Sex:1 Love:2 and Magic:∞ and obviously this is the song i picked. justin

Aww snap I still haven’t posted this (7:12pm) well as you can see I am having a really rough day. i am sorry this post is so late. I had to drive my dad all over the place today because he was to tired to drive himself because he stayed up and waited for me. In English I think this is what he meant: I am pissed off at you so you don’t get to do what you want today. Fair enough I guess at least I didn’t get in any real trouble. But I think he is over reacting based on what I told him, based on the truth he is right but I didn’t tell him the truth. I told him that we were late and that the 2 movies after ours where sold out, it’s the Dark Knight Rises everybody is going to see this movie it’s a believable lie. The total time spent in the theater is like 3 hrs., then it takes forever to get out the parking lot because everybody  and they mama is trying to leave. 3 hrs plus 30mins plus a travel time of 30 mins so it took 4hrs to get home from the start of the movie till I got home. That’s what I told my dad. What really happened is I saw the movie at 8 then went to go a midnight snack and got home around 1 am. It was worth it. I really don’t get to spend that much time out on the town so I thought you know why not. I think making stupid non-life changing choice when you’re young is necessary because that’s where all your fun memories come from. 

Stay Firce