However, if I'm being honest, I am exactly my type. I've always had this idea. Well.. it's more of a theory that if there was a clone version of me or even me with the opposite parts that I would at least hook up with myself. I don't do one nightstands... or I didn't. But that's a separate story. Because I don't want one nightstands this would be an ongoing sexual relationship that I had with myself who I will now refer to as Aon. I will be Noa and the rest of this is going to be in the third person so it's less weird. At some point one of them will start to romance the others because they both have lover boi tendencies. Raised on a healthy amount of Disney they will do grand romantic gestures, making reality magical fantasy. They're competitive so they will constantly be trying to one-up each other while also appreciating all the effort the other one put in. I think it is completely find be competitive about loving your partner. Not in the sense of winning. But in the sense of you could not possibly love me more than I love you. Forgetting that love is endless and infinite. It will be romance, passion, wild, untameable, spontaneous, larger than life, unforgettable, unintelligible yet still undeniable. It will be little moments, notes, smirks, glances, rays of sunshine through the window you keep asking them to clean, doing nothing, peace, stillness, and tranquility. It will be the duality and the balance in that. That not the balance they bring to each other but the balance we find for themselves that makes the whole relationship grounded. Noa feels safe with Aon. Aon trust Noa. They both know that even though they are the same person they are also simultaneously not the same person. So they still have to say the words out loud because the words matter to both of them so much. If Aon and Noa could work past the initial and inherent fear and agree to work on all of the trauma that makes this terrifying it would be the love of their lives. Noa is Aon's soulmate and vice versa.
I like this in theory. In practice is a completely separate story. I don't trust easy. Noa would be suspicious as fuck of Aon. Even if they were there when Aon was cloned or whatever. They would get in their own way because they're too smart for their own good. One of them are both of them would have the thought that without a neural link where they can experience the same things at the same time that they would diverge from each other rather quickly, exponentially actually. Experiences would make them different people. If they did have a neurolink where they were constantly experiencing their own experiences and the other person's experiences, I do not see how that is not overstimulating all the time. The capacity for existing is negligible at that point. I don't think you could get a capacity window to grow large enough to manage experiencing two separate existences at once. If you did it like as save point at the end of each day they would still diverge too much. It would jeopardize their own relationship because they don't understand the other person's experiences until later. Small misunderstandings in digital communications wouldn't be resolved until after the link. I also think the neurolink hinders healthy communication no matter which way you do it. So then the question is at what point is are Noa and Aon unique and distinguishable from one another that they are no longer dating themselves. I think outside opinions of that matter less than their understandings and expectations of each other. It matters even more to determining that point and what to do when they get there.
The ease of the relationship is how much they know, understand, trust, and themselves. That only exist in isolation where they spend the entire time together all the time. However that doesn't last either. I think it exponentially diverges quicker the more urban the setting is or the more entropy the setting has. Honestly urban comes back to entropy anyway cuz it's just more chances and opportunities for different things. So in reality could Noa date Aon? I don't think so. Not in a healthy way and not in a way that acknowledges both of their uniqueness. There is definitely more familiarity and comfort there, but I think it's assumed and unearned at a certain point.
But I do still think I am my type just me right now in this existence doubled. It would always have to be a current version of me dating the exact up to date carbon copy of me with all the same experiences. So yes I am my type but not in a multi-dimensional sense. In that respect, I think it might be worth loving myself less.
