I wanted to write this because I'm ultimately heartbroken. Amoriartii is very white passing. So for all intense and purposes can be categorized as white and probably wants to be white. I can't believe that they would steal from a black immigrant. I know not all immigrants are poor. I know not all black people are poor. This is about class but it is more about race I think. I'm trying to work out my position, feelings, and thoughts on this while I write this. One if the victims is black and is immigrant. This being America that already sets up a power dynamic between Amoriartii and her. I'm not saying Amoriartii is richer than her it may be the other way around I don't assume to know. What I do know is she is not wealthy enough to make the stealing ethical or feel good. I also know that Amoriartii is not poor enough to need to steal luggage from people for financial reasons. So that analyzes the class aspect of this.
What I think is ultimately upsetting me is that Amoriartii stole from at least one black women. I do not know the ethnicities of the other two. I think Amoriartii targeted her and her bag in particular. How did they do it? I don't know. Why did they do it? I also didn't know. But I do not think they took a random bag off of the carousel and just took a one in a million chance. They would have had to have been taking at least one bag from every flight they ever took, going to check the bag in the bathroom, and then returning it if they didn't like it if that was the plan. I know they fly a lot so it's possible that that was the plan but it just doesn't seem realistic. I think they would have gotten caught way sooner. They have been doing this since we broke up. So for about five years. They might have been doing it while we were together but it doesn't seem like it. Because all the victims are women. They seem to be after women's clothing, jewelry, and makeup. I knew their closet like the back of my hand when we were dating and they had very few women's pieces. Mostly what we got together.
Anyway, they went out of their way to steal this black lady's luggage. I think they knew she was black and maybe also that she was a fashion designer. As a white AMAB person, they already have all the money, power, land, and resources. What more could you want? Everything and the world too? To steal from a black women to me says you don't see the years of inequity, inequality, and injustice that black people especially black women have faced in America for years. And you also don't see how that has affected black women over the generations. And I will let it go that it hasn't affected this particular black woman over the generations in the same way because she is an immigrant she's not of the diaspora. However she's from Africa a continent that was plundered, pillage, colonized, abused, and exploited for resources. She is not from one of the countries few countries that did not experience the full negative effect of colonization or white people. So generational disadvantages and generational trauma still apply to her just in a slightly different way.
I felt so seen by them when we were together. I felt like we were the same person just in different bodies. I felt like they understood me and where it came from. And now I feel either lied to or betrayed. Because either they didn't know me they, didn't understand my struggles as a black person. Or they understand and did it anyway. I understand the rush of exploding your privilege. I do the same thing abroad. It is an extreme privilege to be an American. To have that American passport means that other places will give you the benefit of the doubt and will let you get away with things. You can commit wrongdoings and face no consequences. That is fun and addictive as all get out. But I try to do it in a way where I'm only hurting those more privilege than me. Like the very small things I do do not have any consequences for individuals, just countries or companies. But I think to use your privilege in a way that deliberately hurts people who have less privilege than you is wrong.
So it hurts me that they would do this. It makes me feel disrespected. Like if they could do it to her they could do it to me. It's been five years and people change. I noticed they were changing after they had been in DC for two years. Maybe the person I love doesn't exist anymore. I wanted to believe that part of that person, even if it was just a small sliver, was still there. But I don't think that's possible. The person I love wouldn't do this. So the person I love must be gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment