This is an unedited blog about my thoughts, my life, and my experiences living it. I leave it unedited so I can actually watch myself grow. It forces me to acknowledge my mistakes and learn from them. Feel free to leave comments
6/7/22
skitt: passion after the flames
I had a fling. She told me she loved me so I said it back. But neither of us loved the other. So after a really dramatic month we called it quits. Now we're friends and I'm falling for her. I didn't love her then but I love her now. She has a new girl friend. One that she got 2 days before we broke up. A girl she's crazy about and talks about all the time. She does everything for her. She loves her so much. I didn't hurt then but I definitely hurt now. We see each other almost every other week. We spend our time drinking and getting really high. We talk about our feelings. I helped her get a cat and plants. We do DIY projects. We didn't do this stuff then but we do these things now. It was supposed to be just a good time. Not a long time. It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be hot. I didn't cry then but I cry now. My heart is the biggest masochist I've ever met. It's playing a game that is already over. It's falling after I've already hit the ground. It's bleeding after the wounds have been healed. It's passion after the flames have been put out. I didn't love her then but I do now.
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