12/18/21

Skittles: desire mapping a partner part two

My therapist wants me to list my non-negotiable for what I need in a partner. So in order importance, here we go
  1. I like their voice
  2. Has a regular hygiene routine and smells nice
  3. Person of color
  4. Interesting
  5. Trustworthy
  6. Loyal
  7. Smart
  8. Believes in science
  9. Makes me feel safe
  10. Consistent
  11. Transparent
  12. Is free from human dependants
  13. Can make a follow a plan
  14. Patient
  15. Honest
  16. Responsible
  17. Reasonable
  18. Understanding
  19. Empathic
  20. Considerate
  21. Cuddly 
  22. Is comfortable to cuddle
  23. Down with the movement
  24. More than political liberal
  25. Respectful of others' boundaries 
  26. Fixes instead of fighting
  27. Works on improving themselves
  28. Is at a stable place in there life
  29. Has at least one thing that they are passionate about and know a lot about that thing
  30. Organized
  31. Uses Google services like calendar and stuff
  32. Has goals 
  33. Has hobbies
  34. Nice
  35. Trans+
  36. I find them sexually attractive
  37. Mouth tastes good (not like cigarettes)
  38. Likes a variety of music
  39. Was or is currently an activist
  40. Only has allergy restrictions for their food diet
  41. Doesn't mind doing the dishes
  42. Open to trying new things

12/5/21

12/2/21

daily struggles

I remember when Amoriartii got remarried and it was finally over, it felt like I was dying. Without my friends I probably would have died. My friends fixed me and put the pieces back together. Losing Eta Carina makes me feel lost and empty. It's a similar aching in my chest but one I think I'm strong enough to survive now.