12/16/20

Re:Skittles: thinking about loneliness as a hunger

I once wrote a post called thinking about loneliness as a hunger. And I was very upset about it because of the way people talk about being in relationships and how you have to sit with your loneliness. But now I have a better understanding of what what people meant when they say sit in your loneliness. LL's is currently struggling with a decision. It's mostly because he doesn't know what he wants. And now I understand why people say sit in your loneliness. And it is very much similar to being hungry the analogy that I made in the first post. Nobody tells you just sit and starve yourself. Which is how I thought about. When people say maybe you should just be by yourself a while and sit in your loneliness in my head that was saying go without food. However, sitting in ones loneliness is less starve yourself and more figure out what you want to eat. Sitting in your loneliness is just about figuring out what you want. just like sitting with your hunger is figuring out what you want to eat. And so I was right where loneliness is a type of hunger but it is not one that always needs to be immediately substantiated. Much like actual hunger. Sometimes it's best to ponder what you really want. So I find myself telling LL's to sit in their loneliness to figure out what he wants. when you're hungry it's not about what other people want to eat It's about what you want to eat and when you're lonely I think that we often don't put ourselves first. We don't think about what we want. We think about what others want. We should treat loneliness the same way we treat hunger. It's about what you want to eat , its about what you want. Because I do think you do yourself a disservice when you're hungry and you just eat whatever's there, available, or the first option you come across. Because the feeding your hunger does not give you any gratification. You've eaten and your full but you're unfulfilled. So when you're hungry you need to take the time to figure out what you actually want to eat so that you feel satisfied. Similarly in loneliness I think people say sit in your loneliness so that you can figure out what you really want. Once you know what you really want then you make that decision. A decision that is truly satisfying. 

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