2/10 Cyborg broke up with me yesterday ( about 2 hours ago). Again I thought it would hurt more than it does. I guess when you just continuously compounding pain you get to a point where more doesn't hurt more. I guess I'm too busy mourning one relationship to mourn another. I guess I have seen this coming and it was always a matter of when. I think I'm too numb to care. I cried for all of five minutes then went on alerting my friends, changing my relationship status on Facebook, and making plans on when to come get my stuff. I knew exactly what song to listen to as to numb me even more. We are very different but I think I preferd it that way. I tried being with someone so similar to me and that nearly ended me. I'm already so broken this love can't break me.
Update 2/13:
We are back together.
2/26: We are officially over. I knew Monday it wasn't going to work and he knew Tuesday we were on borrowed time. I have given him every reason to walk away and it's like he's almost hoping for a miracle so that he could stay. I say almost because he knows that even if he stayed we would never work long term. I have asked God for Amoriartii a million times and I have always been answered. I would feel wrong leaving a huge part of my life for something I know won't work. It just doesn't make sense, yet I'm tried to stay. I looked for one good reason to stay. I ask for what I would need and Cyborg just simply said he can't give me what I would need to stay. I have prayed for answer I already knew, hoping it wasn't true. He's a good one and I didn't want to let him go. But both of us have a million reasons to leave and we can't find even one reason to stay.
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