I think I am just starting to grieve for my queer and QPOC family lost in the shooting. I frequent gay clubs and bars. I would say I attend 30 gay bars for every other type of bar I go to. My siblings do too. Not to that extent but they come with me all the time. My family could have lost all of its children in one night (all 8 of us). That's terrifying. I will not fall into the trap and blame religion. Religion didn't do this. Homophobia, poor gun control, terrible gun laws, and a disasters mental health system did this. There have already been threats against LA pride which is happening next week. People are considering not attending pride and the festivals. We are afraid. People who are still in their parents homes aren't being aloud to attend. People worried about coming out are pushed that much farther back in to the closest/ library and can't mourn publicly for the community they are a part of. This shooting has affected way more than 103 people's lives. I find myself constantly reading the list of the dead as it gets updated fearing finding one of my friends on the list. I have already had friends find friends on the list and thier pain is unimaginable. I hurt with them. Knowing I will never get a chance to meet a great person not for chance but because of hate. The world has gotten a little emptier and our hearts a little heavier. I will find ways to heal from this atrocity. I just hope my comunity finds away to stand up to fear and come togther for the rest of this month. That we stand together united for once and stay that way forever.
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