Wardrobe issues.
Picking something to wear to work, laser tag, and a sex party. I would normally wear three different outfits but I don't have time to go home and change . Work ends at 7 laser tag is at 7:30 ( 30mins to travel). Laser tag ends at 10 sex party start at 10:30 (again 30 mins to travel). I don't think anyone else has these problems. That might be cuz no one has my crazy life
This is an unedited blog about my thoughts, my life, and my experiences living it. I leave it unedited so I can actually watch myself grow. It forces me to acknowledge my mistakes and learn from them. Feel free to leave comments
1/29/15
Daily struggles
1/22/15
Daily struggles
I found this post on tumblr and I decide to expand
Heterosexual: the door opens one way
Homosexual: the door opens one way
Bisexual: the door opens two ways
Pansexual: the door opens many ways
Ominsexual: an open door, more like an arch
Demisexual: this door needs a key
Demiromantic: you get the key after you open the door.
Questioning: A door that is deciding between ways to open
Sexual: a revolving door or an automatic door
No lables: a door that opens but prefers not to be limited to the confines of words, might consider themselves a window
Asexual: can be a door but is generally a wall.
1/21/15
Skittles: cookies and the flue
There will be times that try you and test you. There will be those months that push you to the limit. When it takes everything to even do the little things and you have all done all but given up. It is in these moments where I will put my hand on your shoulder and say one more minute. You can make it another hour. For those weeks where everyday you wake up wishing you hadn't I will be there saying just one more, you can make it through another day. And maybe making it another day means spending it in bed unable to get up. Maybe it means a glass of water and some crackers because cooking something is too much. I want to tell you that's okay. And I am glad that you found it in yourself to do it. There are months where the simple thing like making it through my morning routine seem more overwhelming than addressing the general assembly. But I have done both and facing myself in the mirror while I brush my teeth on a bad day was just as hard as looking my Governor in the eye and telling him how to run the state. So I want to tell you don't feel unaccomplished in the feats you've achieved to day. Your still here and everyday you fight off thoughts, fears, doubts, and dark space is a day you've earned. Plus I need you cuz where you see a strong hand on your shoulder helping you through the day I see someone who has lost their balance and was glad they found a shoulder to lean on and not the cold hard ground.
1/20/15
Daily struggle
My favorite part about having Keith and Keelean on snap chat is Keelean snaps all the time and Keith never sends me snaps. but every time I get a snap and it says Keith I forget that Keith is really Keelean and expect it to be Keith every time
1/10/15
Daily struggles
So you know what it feels like when you can't get comfortable in your seat? That is what its a depressive episode feels like.
1/8/15
Daily Struggles
Sometimes I feel real gangster cuz I do a lot of mobster business stuff but I don't know how to tell my friends without them fearing that I'll put them 6 feet under. #godfatherproblems #BBonly #independent
run everything in my house
Daily struggles
Travel/friendship advice:
When visiting your friend at their family home over break do not make out with their lesbian little sister. Even if she is cute, cool, and puts the moves on you first.
Not making out with my friends little sister at 3 in the morning.
1/6/15
Daily struggles
I think my heart picks crushes like this
1 doing the absolute most
2 at least one body of water or mountain range away.
3 could not have them even If I was God and made them myself
1/5/15
Skittles: squiggly line with poke-i-dots
My dad has been concerned about me lately because I have been talking in my sleep. I have never been one to talk about what is really bothering me with my parents I like to figure it out myself. With that said my dad and I are still pretty close. I do talk to him a lot. Lately I have been talking to him about the fact that my family has been pushing me to date. Now I expected my father to treat me like daddy's little girl and say you don't have to date if you don't want to. That's not what happened at all. He didn't say I have to date because he knows that I don't just causally date. I have to fall for someone but he is worried about me like a father worries about a son who's in a bit of a dry spell. He talked about never really worrying about me because he felt like he had the best parts of having a daughter and a son in one person. Now with that said he doesn't really think I will marry a guy. He doesn't believe that I really like men. In short he thinks I'm a lesbian. Normally people have a hard time convincing their family that they like the same sex. They say its just a phase or you just haven't met the right opposite sex person. I have had the exact opposite problem with my family. My siblings, my dad, and my step father all know (I'm out to them) and they all agree I'm a lesbians. I am not a lesbian! My older siblings and my step dad all agree I am also basically a boy who cross dress. Let me explain that. Ever since I was little they have been calling me little boy. Before I knew I was Bi. They treated me like a boy. They decided because I liked science, outside, climbing, being dirty, and playing ruff I was a boy. I don't like dolls, tea parties, pink, anything frilly, stuffed animals, or generally anything deemed girly so not a girl. But I make a dam attractive girl so if its important that's usually how I choose to present. So my older brother started calling me his cross dressing brother. Then my other older siblings fell in line too. My step dad started when he saw me in my prom dress. He said "you make a might pretty girl son." So when my siblings introduce me its this is my brother the cross dressing lesbian. I've never been bothered by my families gendering of me or their understanding of my sexuality. I've never really cared to pick a gender. I don't feel like anything I've come across really fits me. So when queers ask me what pronoun do I use I answer all of them. My gender is unimportant to my identity I have grown up answering to everything from girl/boy to it. It being my favorite by far but the word it makes people uncomfortable so only my close friends call me it. I think I am uniquely blessed for having a family that is so understanding and strange. I would die without their love and support and I've had it since I was little. I never wanted to be a square I am and always will be a squiggly polygon with poke-i-dots. To this day my family signs my cards "you go you little irregular shape you!"
1/3/15
1/1/15
Daily struggles
What to call my international travel albums?
For Bermuda
1. Kokomo
#Bermuda
For India
Paradis
#mylo #xyloto
1. Fresher than you
#Iknowyoucare
2. I go to dreams with a suitcase
#doin'me
#justbecuase
3. 7/11 ( if I go in july)
#fresherthanyou
4. Fresher than you
#sweatin'outmyblowout
5. Forever young
#justsomepicturepefectdays
6. All day
#gowild