Here is to being a more mature person on Facebook. Please enjoy stupid things I have said or herd over the years.
me "what time is it" light bright " umm my phone says it is Monday Jan 5 1980 2:04 pm" "oh ok not time for work yet...wait what" "i guess i am not here cuz i haven't been born yet" " me either" light bright looks at the phone reads it it say" i haven't even been made yet" me "yo phone is on crack" light bright "yeah but it is so funny though"
(Denise in very happy squee voice) "i got a whole make up kit for like $10" (me in very bored voice) "uhhu" (Denise like a kid on Christmas) "it is just...SO...MUCH...MAKE UP!!!!!" (me in still very bored voice) "uhhu" somewhere in Germany Bill says "tom guess what i just got a make up kit for less than €8" (tom in very bored voice) "uhhu" ( Bill like a kid on Christmas) "it is just...SO...MUCH...MAKE UP!!!!!" (i think to myself not knowing that tom is thinking the same thing is there anyone else who think this is so boring)
me and a chemist where unknowingly doing an experiment and she was like "this is an experiment done well i am telling you at first it was the picture was not showing up unless somebody is dumb deaf and blind" and i looked at her like well maybe you....
i would right all the quotes i have form the school year on here but some things are better left inside the school grounds lol
"it is easier than shaking down a leprechaun" geco
Jamie to jimmy about joining an all girl team "Don't worry, we can hide it"
little kid to pastor " when God says go forth be fruitful and multiply did he mean everyone" Pastor "yes" child "everyone one? even that ulgy muther fecker over there?" pastor "yes" child "the Bible says we are all created in God's image are you sure?" Pastor "yes" child "even that ugly guy over there" pastor "yes" child "oh Jesus our father isn't good looking" pastor lays hands on child shakes head and walks away.
"we don't have a pool we all go to school that is what she said
that what your mom said
your mom
sam and her tiny space bubble
sam please***** people in there sleep
i don't think it can go any closer
that is like your 17th that's what she said but they where all banging
in my pants
i thought you could use a hello from the toe fairy"
my team is a bunch of creepers
M " if i could be rape proof from one person it would be Mr.Bean. anyone else would be okay by comparison
nils what are you doing under the table?
me: so if i squees nils underwater he would sink
Bre: yes
me : and if i expand nils under water he would float
Bre: yes
me: nils let me squeeze you under water
Mr. Lyons: ....... *shm*
"Wilson"
"NILS!"
" oh Bundit"
k "why were Africans shipped on boats to america?"
"Because they sure couldn't swim here."
i think all that has gone to your head
sam: no when we get together we are just slap happy
i am so glad i won't smell like chlorine anymore
sam: excuse me chlorine is my preferred fragrance
It is nice to have coaches that stand up for there team even when they don't want to
with extra extra bacon
we should play twister with butter
why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella... fo drizzle
you know you have made it when you are in the Payton brochure
you know you have made it as a high school when people measure success by getting in to the brochure
dinicorns and unisores
krips no bloods no kings no payton student yeah
Payton students we runnin' 900 deep
" i have hepatitis a,b,c, and l" "what?" lol
"when you 50 i will..." " i don't want to live till i 50 that old things start to sag I want to die at 11:59 the day before I turn 50" ( afraid to age and grow old Chicago gay teenager problems)
hey you want to hang out tomorrow; sorry I can't I have to go be gay; you have to go be gay TOMORROW?; yeah its the last Sunday in June
great ways to start of conversation late at night:
so, interesting fact...... i learned water bending - Beans
My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Avatar kept the balance the Chicago . But that all changed when the water tribe was like fuck you guys
(after a week of thunder storms)
there are many people i would totally rape-MG
I will rape you, I won't enjoy it, but I'll do it anyway.-MG
I will poke you. I will poke you so hard- MG
"I'm out this joint in 6 weeks" "congratulations. yeah I still have a freakin' life sentence. that bitch just won't die" - teenage girls talking about their moms
Let's go awhoring
-me
" I like tapping the tail piece... it really like the sound it makes when i do it" MG
Me-Joe came out white
Joe- wait so I could have been Michaels Jackson in reverse
thunder snow... Sounds like a stripper name if I was a stripper that would be my name
Quotes from a play about meth:
Lifetime; Tv for gay meth heads coming down
Its important to take a minute when making decisions about a new source for my crystal meth and I ask myself is this the way my spirit wind wants me to go.
Now its time to play what's my Meth everyone's favorite family game show about crystal Meth
First round I am going to ask you three questions and you buzz when you think you have the answer. First question it is three in the afternoon and there are voices from the toaster saying go out side and have more sex what do you do?
Contestant number one? Go out side and have more sex!. No, I'm sorry the answer is take apart the toaster and figure out where the voices are coming from (if you got that you probably have a meth addiction)
Second question. Why are these bees in my teeth?
"Rose are red
True love is rare
Booty Booty Booty
Rockin' everywhere"
-Boss's current lover
First step is to kiss someone's hand. Second step is to suck their dick
-Boss's current lover
CAH Haikus
explosions
a vagina that leads to another dimension
SCIENCE!
Barack Obama
doing nothing meaning full to solve the worlds problem
Bitch slap.
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