skit: all by myself

I use to be an only child. I spent about 5 years in my mother's house without anybody else there but us. I use to talk to wind and play with the shadows. I was very imaginative and I could spend hours alone. I don't know how I did it. I can't stand people, but I can't stand being by myself more I don't even like to sleep alone.  Going to college was more than just a move it meant being on my own for the first time since I was five. Let's just say for the first two years I didn't really handle the change well. I didn't even realize that that was part of the problem until today. There is an indecribale feeling of loneliness that has overtaken me since I left home. And I didn't know it was the lack of intimate, meaningful moments that were causing this void. When I was at home there was always someone I could share space with, to talk to, just to generally annoy and to connect with. Here, yes, I have a roommate, but it isn't the same; I think my roommate will think I am strange if I just came and cuddle them. So I guess I have to learn how to be by myself. Just because I am alone doesn't mean I should be lonely, and I feel like because I am I don't know myself. It's like I don't love myself enough, or trust myself enough to stand on my own two feet and I need to able to do that. I shouldn't need anyone else but myself. I mean people need people because we are social creatures we will die in isolation. However, I should be able to survive in a world where I do talk to people and I don't always make these intimate connections. That's fine too. Here's to learning to be a functional person who isn't too needy and dependant on everyone around them.