post i should have posted a long time ago (1 of 2)

I know I haven’t blogged in a while honestly it has been a very hard first year but hopefully I will find time to tell you about that later. But that’s not what urges me to write today. Despite all the other thing I really should be doing: P L.  You all know what happened in California and with DOMA . Right now I would like to put all the Queer stuff and just say this isn't a gay thing this is a human thing. Now the scientist  are still out on whether or not we choose to be gay, if we are all a little gay, if we are born this way, or whatever.  I really don’t care. We have been here when it came to race, gender, disability, and class. Are we really too stupid to see how this should end. Will we ever get to a time where we won’t judge people on thing that are out of our control? We should hold people accountable for things that are out of their hands. Trust me nobody asked The Flying Spaghetti Monster to have blind children.  Nobody went to the temple of the Little Tea Pot orbiting Mars to be Hutu in an all Tutsi area.  I mean I don’t think the Pope gets a lot of request for autistic children. Ask people who can’t convince and want a child if they care if it is a boy, girl, Zi, they just want a healthy human baby. I just want to know when we will evolve to a point were other people’s opinion of things we can’t control won’t matter to us.  I can’t help that I am black, that I am female, and that I have ADHD. Just like I can’t help that I have asthma and can’t eat oranges or get stung by bees.  I can’t help that I was born with 10 toes and 10 fingers.  Now I can change things about myself, like get a tat across my head, or cut off a finger doing something stupid and fell free to judge me for it I deserve it (I don’t care but you can). I have broken both of my big toes twice so far and people call me stupid or ask me how many times do I have to touch fire to know it’s hot. But I don’t care because I broke my toes swimming and diving doing something I love. I would brake them many more time before I stop swimming or diving. When I was 8 all my hair fell out and kids called me ugly for weeks. My hair fell out because I wanted to be grown up and get a perm so I did. But my mom told me I couldn't have one so I didn't tell her after I got it. What I didn't know at the time was that you have to take care of a perm and if you don’t well, you look balder than Saint Baldric. Yeah I was sad and I wish I didn't do it, but I will never do it again because of all the shame I felt by being shamed publicly. We can’t get rid of public shaming because some people like me need that humiliation to learn life lessons. But I can’t tell you the frustration  and the sadness that plagues my heart every day because I can’t spell ( I also have a learning disparity that affects my reading witting and processing). Everyone makes fun of me for it. Little do they know I could want to win the national spelling try really hard but still misspell rain. (thank god for Microsoft auto correct) my brain puts thing in the wrong order but reads it as right anyway like skittles I always write sikittels  but the only reason i know it is wrong is because of the little red line under my seeming right word. I can’t help it. So far there isn't a cure and if one came out tomorrow I couldn't afforded because I am working class (poor) now I can change what class I am in after time and hard work. But children don’t deserve to be judge for what class they are born into they should be afforded the same as the rich kids if they are just as smart and have the same drive. IF THE CHILD NOT THEIR PARENTS HAVE THE DRIVE.  I have always love to learn but hated that the teachers hated me because I read slow. I hate reading out loud to this day for that reason. I only read out loud to baby’s or myself. I refuse any other time. the point is why can't we be judge on things we control and not predispositions? 

Think about it 
J Skittles