Are we born this way or is it a choice. I Believe I talked about it earlier when I just started blogging in a post called the chicken or the egg. I would like to revisit this topic now that I'm older, wiser, gayer (lol), and in light of the video that went viral when a teen came out to his family and was physically rejected. In response to that lots of youtubers have asked their viewer if they could choose would they choose to be gay or straight. That is such a load question, it doesn't seem like it. I mean it saying choose hetero or homo. As much as homosexuality isn't a life style, it is a culture and for those who choose to it be part of that culture it changes so much. If I was straight, I would worry about my financial future, if my mother found out I was gay I'd be cut off. I wouldn't worry about when and where I can where my rainbow bands. I couldn't be fired for my sexuality. I wouldn't know the first hand the blind hatred for something people don't understand. I wouldn't have missed years of church. Yes I am a religious Homo. I wouldn't be free to explore, understand, and challenge gender. I would know exactly which gender I was going to marry, and that I'd be in some sort of dress. I wouldn't have to worry about being out in public with my partner. Bringing someone home to meet the family would be difficult but not as much. I could donate blood. But if I was straight, I wouldn't know the undying resilience that is the human spirit. I wouldn't know the happiness and joy the Queer community has brought me. I wouldn't have these beautiful chosen families. I wouldn't know or understand how complex sexuality is. I wouldn't understand the fluidity of a person, and how evolution is a constant personal process. All of the terms and proper usage of words would be completely foreign to me. I wouldn't have this extreme sensitivity to language, tone, and expression. I would not have the ride or die friends I have now. I wouldn't have had the opportunities I have had: conferences, I know senators and governors, I've been on state boards, leadership opportunities, Travel, I've met movie stars, I got back stage pass to a concert cuz my now friend didn't believe I was old enough to be gay. I've had once in a lifetime opportunities that I wouldn't have had if I wasn't queer. I don't know its a really hard question. If I could choose unconditional love, joy, and pure happiness like no other but being treated less than human, knowing the first hand the evil that lives with us, pure hate, violence, and fear or being "normal" never worrying my love would taken from me and never being persecuted for being myself but not knowing how truly beautiful humanity and the human spirit is and really not understanding love. I would choose to be gay and do it all over again. I know that it gets so bad sometimes people want to take their own life. I know sometimes they are killed just because they are queer. I would face death and all of that pain just to have a fraction of they happiness I've known. Just like when I talked about it the first time I choose to be happy. Maybe when I started out (before I started writing) I would have chosen to be straight but I've known I was queer for 7 years now. Its not always rainbows and sunshine but my God is it beautiful after the storm.
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