Okay so I know I am a
dirty fitly liar and I said I would do a holiday post. Honestly I was
going to write one but then I got so distracted be the Santa tracker and my
family. I just got back from college Christmas Eve. The day
before Christmas was quite a day for me given the fact that I had so much to do
before I had to catch a train and I was injured. I cracked my femur. No
big deal. But it made it
very difficult to pack and clean my apartment. I think I left me heat to high. Anyway,
I celebrate Christmas and newton day and winter pagan holiday
that has been overly commercialized. I am a very open minded person
when it comes to my holidays that happen to fall annually on December 25th.
So if you have any that I have left out let me know. But in the spirit of these holidays I do have something
I have wanted to share. It is always said that the holidays are times for
families to spend time together to grow and bond. However for many people in
the Queer community it’s not like that. Actually far from it. Often
the holidays for Queers is a time of lies and deceit or hate
and resentment. For me its lies. My mother doesn't know she isn't actually
the accepting
type. ( my mother was raised strictly catholic and for some
pretty important reason I cannot piss her off) so while I am with her and
my mother's side of the family I don't "act" gay. So that means no rainbow bands. No
gay friends, no gay Facebook, and no looking at women. It’s a struggle
sometimes. I guess I didn't realize how big a role my sexuality played in my
everyday life until I couldn't be gay anymore. It just makes me feel like I am
dead on the outside and that the real me is dying to get out. Dead on the
outside and slowly suffocating on the inside. But I can't tell her. I would honestly rather be dead. My
friends his parents know and so do his family. He is Trans and it isn't easy
for him either. Knowing isn't always easier but you can't hide who
you are at that point. He feels
hated and rejected by people who are supposed to be his family. Growing up
(when he was a she) she always herds "you can't pick your family and as
long as they are abusing you, you might as well love them." and
"they are your family you have to love them even if it’s from a far."
So I just don't think it’s fair that they don't see him as family
anymore. Just cuz you change your sex doesn't mean you
change your blood. Blood is blood and you can't change that. I think he
deserves some understanding from these people. I think they should at least
try, I am not saying accept him right away, that
would be great but I get it takes time to adjust. I am not saying agree with
his choices either. All I am saying is love him like he is family because he
still is and try to understand him. Hear him out, that's all. He doesn't deserve hate
from people who are supposed to love him unconditionally. If they want him
to be hated trust I the outside world is doing a good job. But he should be loved by his family
anyway. So this holiday when you sit down with your family and you fight over
the last slice of pie make sure that after you sock them a good one to get that
piece pie they
know you love them and accepted them for who they are. Even though
they tried to steal your pie. Cuz they are family and you can fight
over pie.
so i am sorry that this posted after christmas/ what ever else falls on this day. as you could imagine i was very busy but i still wanted to wish all of you happy holidays and i hope that i have time to do a year in review post before the year is over so be on the look out for that as well. STAY FIERCE YO
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