Is just as sweet, and thorns pierce just as deeply. My friends keep telling to talk about my emotions. that is is part of staying mentally healthily is talking your feelings and acknowledging their existence. my friends are a bunch of wanna be psych majors. but i just don't think if feelings in turns of words and sentence. i feel color and see my emotions like a painting on a wall. they are full of vivid descriptions that can only be narrated by the brush strokes and contour lines. each color and how it is portrayed is just as important as your words and the tones you use to say them. i can't talk about my feelings because my sad isn't a word its more of a very dismal abstract portrayal of a swimming pool. its full of dark silver gray over tones with pale light teal undertones. much like a voice is full of sorrow and pain when sad, but has light hints of peace and tranquility, foreshadowing the times to come. i can't talk about my feelings because i don't feel them i see them. i can't show you how a feel because you won't understand the painting the way i do. you won't understand the artistry of it. people often talk about their feelings but that is not the only way to communicate them. I understand my feelings in terms of colors but tell other people about them with music. music speaks to people in a language all its own invoking feelings and thought that words never could. even through speech is one of our main forms of communication i would say it is one of the ones that conveys the least amount of information. music or performance, the arts in general give humans a personal understating of another human being .that would normal take a life time of interaction to get. a photo with a title conveys so much more than a conversation with the photographer. then if i was to try you how the photograph made me feel instead of showing you the picture or telling you i could simply let you hear the feelings. a section of a piece or the chorus of a song to show you how i feel. i could tell you with a thousands words with out saying one using a song. songs are as unique as the emotions that they represent meaning that no two songs feel the exact same. they could be similar or even close but there are differences just like feelings. i could paint you a picture and sing you a song but i can not talk about my feelings the same way and have them mean the same thing. words do not comprehend the how small you feel next to a mountain until you are staring up at one. but i can show you what it looked likes and play for you what that feels like and maybe if things aren't lost in translation the rose will come out just as sweet.
i am going into the end of my first semester and things are getting busy. i have found that i am throwing myself into my work more. probably because of things that have happened with Etsy. I told him i liked him even through i said i wouldn't. but honestly it was necessary, i was going crazy unable to think about anything else. so i told him and now as to avoid thinking about what he is going to say back i am over working and not sleeping. the not sleeping is just a product of wanting to be so productive and not being that productive. the over working is a ploy to distract myself. its not like there is a lack of things for me to do. the more energy i have the more the work the world seems to want to give me. thus for now i am working and not painting. not running not swimming not writing just working. i do plan on dealing with all these social non academic things later but as i said right now it is finials week and school life kinda taking presidents here. by the way i am sorry i am so late and that i disabled the page for a few days. my friend who i am now dating, not esty, is also a blogger and i didn't want him to know i was a blogger. so i had to be quite for a while.
stay fierce yo
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