Skit: answer and up dates

1. 1Queer/Lesbian/Gay
2. 2Bisexual 
3. 3Trans
4. 4Bear
5. 5Leather
6. 6Leather Boy
7. 7Pan
8. 8Asexual
9. 9GenderQueer
10. 10Ally
11. Aro Spectrum (again no idea)
12. Polyamory (don't ask me what that is I have no idea

those are you answers. check and see if you were right. so update, i am not officially out of post. meaning there isn't any more back log and i have to start writing again. i have about a month and half before i go away to college so this schedule (insanity) will only be temporary ( thank gosh). i have 2 full time jobs and hang out with friends and family so time is limited. here is what i can do for you, i am moving the posting days to Sunday ( my only day off/me day) so your next post will be tomorrow. yeah :) however blogger has been a pain in my but lately. sometimes the words show up and sometimes they don't and i only check the blog once or twice a week ( when i come to write) so i don't know if it is working. i will try to fix the kinks but i make no promises i might have to leave a strongly worded comment on blogger's blog if it doesn't get fixed. oh i ask the girl out went spent like 4 hours together went to a cafe, had ice cream, wandered aimlessly, all that jazz. i had a great time but i swear i sounded like an idiot the entire time, this girl makes me so nervous i am surprised i didn't faint. i was honestly just so proud that i was able to speak English and in a coherent manner. i thought i would be speaking gibberish the entire time. i almost forgot how to walk and she wanted to climb trees. she was in a tree omg what i would have given to be that tree. anyway because she make me so nervous i wasn't able to ask her out in person like i wanted too. and i had it all planed out too (in my head of course) but i asked her any way because if i didn't do it i would never have done it. she said no but not exactly like that. however that's not important cuz she is still so freaking unbelievable to me and she still want to hang out. i am going to have to tell her to stop being so attractive because she is so distracting taking most of this post and it isn't even about her. its not even the physical that drive me crazy it is literally everything else about her. it all drives me up a wall like the more i learn about her the more i want to learn. her personality is crack like i swear.  but i digress. to end pride month i figured i leave you with some photos of my time at pride. no i am not in any of them but the photos are awesome none the less. let me be the first to say these photo's may not be appropriate for some children. viewer discretion is advised last Sunday in June oh and a song from pride. don't asked why because i don't know but this is the song they played the most at pride CALL ME MAYBE ( never mind i know why now lol ) 

Skit: end of the year nonsense

if you don't know i am recent high school graduate just in case you couldn't tell how old i am by my writing or the topics. and in the last few days ( actually this all happened like a week ago my time but like 3 weeks ago your time) a lot of people have come to speak to us. they have offered words of advice and to bring some meaning to what might seem like a worthless pass four years.  the two adults who spoke to us, one after prom at our grad practice and one at graduation, gave what i believe to be great advice that i would like to summarize and share with you. don't get a tat on you face, don't steal a chevy caprice it is most likely an undercover police car, say yes to things you normally wouldn't, say no to stupid bad or otherwise unproductive things, don't blow your money but don't be afraid to spend you money on stupid things, fail with class and grace ( that means fail but learn something from it),  listen to your parents ( because life is a video game and they have already played all of the levels and won), leave your mark on the world because not every one is special but you all have been bread for greatness and you should not sell yourself anything short of that, and please please please don't make the world any worse because the good and the evil people end up in the history books. my fav quote right here " you are from Chicago so you have a 50/50 shot of going either way. so if you going to be an evil master mind one of you class mates may end up arresting you how's that for a 50th reunion story". i personally though all of this was great advice especially the later because my teacher always joke that they are going to have to re open Alcatraz just for us because we are some kind of " special". okay so why am i bring all of this up. well other than the fact that my class is bad ass and we are the world's last graduating class. (hahahahaha Armageddon) my class, as one of our student speakers said, is nothing short of superlative in fact our mayor think that there might not a word to describe the quality of the person that a graduating paytonite is. and right there i run in to my problem i have work my butt off these pass for years but i don't feel anywhere close to superlative. i don't even feel average. i feel meager at best around my class. i looked to m y left and my right ( i was near last to graduate due the crazy system they imposed since we aren't ranked) however there still was no shortage of exemplary people.  just in my advisory (home room) there are some of the most amazing people i have ever know. they  have talked to foreign world leaders, designed policies, broken down boundaries, and challenged conventional thinking. these people i have had the joy to share my pass four years with are the shit, and they have left there mark on my school. weather it be through awards won or lives touched. but i what have i done? i really wish i could hit redo so that i could do something great and feel the way i know the rest of my class does. i was so sure of what i was going to be when i grew up and now that i am suppose to be taking my first steps in that direction am like a child to afraid to take that first step. when our last speaker said that the pass for years has set up the out line of who we are going to be for the rest of lives i was worried. but when i look back on my 4 years all i see in my head are my friends smiles and i don't exactly know what that means buts it was consoling enough to give me the strength to walk a cross the stage after my friend Maria. my out line maybe set and knowing me it is probably very vague but what is an out line. just a group of ideas. and i may feel meager at best but i am trying to look at it like this. the sun ( in the winter) takes for freaking ever to rise ( like till 9 some times and that means before then it be cold and dark as fudge) but it rises eventually and it warms our planet. it is a necessary part of life here but it isn't even the biggest or the brightest. it is meager at best but it still finds a way to be important and stand out among all the other stars ( take that Sirius :P ) maybe i won't be Sirius but i will be a sun to warm some little planet :) and i think i will do a song just cuz music
stay fierce 

Skittles Pride

 Happy GAY MONTH!!!!!!!  go to pride have fun. hug a drag queen because they give the best hugs. grab a gay guys ass if your a girl. if your a guy hit a lesbo on the butt. go wild get crazy don't get caught. lol go top less especially if you're hot. i mean its hot. today is the the day of the pride parade here in the Chi i am going i have no idea what i am going to wear but i'm going. i might get this rainbow swim suit or i might go in a bra i just don't know yet, all i know is this shit is going to be epic.  i was going to do a whole thing on why June is gay month but i figure you don't want to here me talk about that you just want to read this and go party. dance to some gag or something haha. just a quick whats up about the pictures got to rep that bi swagg. one on th low low like above (yes that picture is about bisexuality but you have to think about) or high key like the one below yeah got those bi moons on lock. so weather your lesbian trans ally bear  pan or whatever else find your colors and represent. and if you an ally there is an equality triangle look it up so you can show out. know your flags people. the post about the flags is up it has most of the flags  and you folks can try to figure out whats what. at the end of the month/ week i will post the answers.
so please because it Queer month
 STAY FUCKING FIRCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Skit: know you pride

Do you know you LGBTQPQIAA Pride flags?????

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

see if you can get all 12 i will be honest the last two are hard. you would have to be all up in LGBTQ  news and information to know what they are. But leave a comment or keep track of flag you think is what. i am not going to leave you a word box you have to figure it out yourself.  no cheating ( so don't use the internet to help you). oh i know i didn't do the various triangles or the symbols maybe next year. i also dependably left out sub groups of these main ones even if they had flags.  to much work. :P answer will be posted on the 30th.

stay Fierce 

Skit: playa vs. person who falls in love easily

I don't want to be playa no more. not that i was ever a playa. why am i lying i am and was playa.(played everyday at recess and i was big pimpin' on the football field) actually through i think i was cuz thats what all my guys friends called me, the girls had another name for me but i will leave that up to your imagination. but now i am at a different place in my heart right now ( because i think i am still in the same place in my life). but everybody sees it as the same. before i would get with some one and have a few on the side talking to a few more on the other side. i was never ever lonely, even when i traveled, got ohs in different area codes ya feel me. and said endeavors lasted no longer than 3 months max that means i could have 4 main different "pronoun-friends"a year with countless interchangeable sides. but i am not feeling that right now.  but then every one screams out you have had nine different crushes in the past month. no no no that is not true there were only 6. and yes that is a lot but i am available so i can like and chat with who ever i want. i know and you guys know i am really just in love with one girl. i just would not be mad if i couldn't spend it with her and i had to spend my summer with one of the 5 other people. so in my opinion i'm not a playa i just crush a lot. A playa is, the old me, a known heart breaker who no one can tie down. they are fun to be with for a while because its exciting with them just don't catch feelings and don't think you can change them. because you can't they have to meet a person they want to change for then they, probably after losing said person, will change. but a person who falls easy is normally a romantic who can see something lovable and attractive in almost any one. so they often rush into relationships that don't last and soon realize that this is not what they wanted and have to end it. they don't change either they just eventually end up with the right person it is like battle ship almost. after enough misses you will get a hit. i mean i wouldn't say i am falling in love with every person i meet but there are people i notice mostly because they deserve my attention but just because there is something that make these five people special and it just isn't in every one else. like the guy i met in guard class, ( my best guy friend Q calls him jay) Jay, we click and it is almost like looking in a mirror and i have learned to trust him faster than i have anyone else. like i would trust him with my life ( i mean i had to for class but i wasn't scared like everybody else was with their partners) my friend Q calls him Jay because he say that jay sounds like the guy version of me. Q writes my name like this Jey (cuz i am girl ant that is how the girl version would be spelled as not to confused it with the masculine version) but jay is mad cool like i think we are the same person some times it is crazy but i like. any way song time not a playa


Prom!!!!!!! is this week wish me luck because i need it i am new to all of the feminine crud and i don't exactly know what i am doing. but hopefully i will make it through the might. prom is Friday 6/8. am super excited hopefully the next post will be about how awesome it was. and how i am looking forward to graduating, FINALLY!!!! these past two weeks have been the most painstakingly slow and stressful process ever. but it is almost over all i have to do is not fail. seems easy enough but the easy stuff always turns out to be a trick question then you fail. so i hope i pass because i could not do any of this over again. i have no more fucks to give. they have all been spent. i need to take a break preferably in the summer and recharge. right now my head feels like these smarty. swear if this last week doesn't hurry up and get here this is what is going to happen. except instead of candy it will be my sugary brain matter.  
stay fierce 

Skit: break up slam

if i sent you a poem to tell you how i felt
would it make more sense then
adding rhythm and rhyme
to add depth to a line
because when the words come out of my mouth
they don’t seem to have the same effect
as when i write them down
perform them
do you think more thought goes into them
because i take the time to move my fingers across a bigger keybored
instead of just texting to you
why should the method or mode of communication determine the severity of the words
if i write them down beforehand
does that me the words on the paper yield a greater emotional value
than the ones coming out of my mouth
off the top of my head
if anything thing
i think the value of honesty in the words depreciates
from the time i write them down
to the time i send them to you
because the real words
flying out of my mouth before i can run it through the filters for political corrections
those are the truth
and the reality of the situation is
you would rather have some pretty lies mixed with some cleaned up half truth
then my whole raw unprocessed honesty
if the paper could talk
would it tell you all the pretty lies you really want to hear?
because this piece of paper is what you would rather talk to
than me
and i think it is about time we have a conversion of own
completely unedited and uncensored
so that all the “bullshit of i am sorry when you're really not” doesn’t get through
i want your heat of the moment
emotions
you hothead temper
with quick wit and a quicker wip of a tongue
does she even exist anymore
no, not no more

maybe this peices of paper will show you
not everything could be fixed through written text
sometimes spoken word is a necessity
starting and ending with some slam
looks like we have come full circel
looks like you just don’t know me anymore
and i don’t get you no more
i love poetry just as much as the next but really
i am not that needy
i don’t make insane demands
if it is poetry you want then poetry you will get
i hope it helps you understand

i wish i could blame our problem on separation and distance
but really the only thing dividing us is a pen
and a piece of paper
our divide is paper thin
but feels like mountains and valleys are between
and it will take the force of a moving mountin
to tear this paper apart
i honestly can’t believe paper was stronger than us
stronger than what was in our hearts.

me and my most recent ex have been broken up for a while now actually, but i heard this song playing on NICS: Los Angles (which i don't watch but my dad does. i personally perfer the original) and i had to write. i just felt compelled to get out all these words in my head that kept popping up as the song played. it wasn't till after i was done writing did i read it and go ( this suck not really) this is about my ex. i thought it ever fitting to be the end of the end considering how we began. she asked me out through poetry and we solved our problems through poetry. the first time she said she loved me was in poem. so i thought after writing this what a couth way to end it all and i figured i would share it (more of my bad poetry) with you. here is the song by the way > No more

oh ps just in case you were wondering when i update my blog it is at noon central daylight time and on wednesday. if you are wondering how the summer schedule is going to be like. i am not sure yet. i have been writing a lot lately so there is a lot waiting to be posted. due to this back log i won't have to modify my writing until probably mid July. presently 5/29 i have about 3 weeks of stressful school left (and stress yields writing) so we will see how much goes down before school ends and then when i actually get to my summer vacation i will know how busy i will be. i will also be able to better gauge my laziness. so short answer i don't know but maybe i will be able to tell you half way through July in which case it will only be modified for a month and then i will have an all new schedule for college. 

Stay Fierce

skitt: sh!t that irks me

i low key love this pic cuz i hate being called a lesbo cuz i'm not!!!! and my committee irks me too and my little ponies just get on my nerves that why you will only see pics of them on negative post 

yes this is a rant post so it might be slightly repetitive. i apologize in advance. also before i start let me tell you i love my family with my all of my heart. but the love i have for certain family members is deep deep down buried under a mountain of hate and contempt from being wronged. but the love is there somewhere.... i hope. what really grinds my gears is bad criticism. note the adjective it is very important. i am not against criticism but if you don't know how to talk to people or criticize. shut up, because i don't want to hear you tell me my writing is crap trust me i already know. the reason i need you to read it is so that i can grow as a writer and maybe even a person but you don't know how to talk to a person so you just shut me down right off the bat. i am telling you a little bit of consideration will get you incredibly far with me. like you don't have to be nice or like me i don't care. all i care about is your option of my writing and as soon as i get your feed back our interaction can be over. all i need for you to do is when your talking to me use your manners. be respectful and considerate that is all i am asking for. I try with every iota in my body to at least do that for people. (it isn't always easy either. oh the thoughts that go through my head sometimes) so when reading my papers and works don't be and ass, i might lose it. the other thing drives me crazy is my mother. that women that women. my relationship with my mother is best modeled by an Eminem rap. idk if it would i'm cleaning out my closet or a different one but it is defiantly one of the his raps. this women is more stubborn than me and that is saying a lot. i hope and pray that i don't turn out like my mom. if i do some one shoot me please. because if you don't i will staring down a long road of unhappiness filled with empty bottles ( both kinds). she just rubs me so wrong i can't believe we were one for 9 months.  it is almost impossible that i came from her. we bump heads more then alpha  mountain goats. she forced me in to a college i didn't want to go to. now she wants me to stay in a dorm i don't want to. she has got her foot pressing on down on my neck trying  to control me and i am just not going for it. born to be wild she should know. people like mother bother me too. like people who be on bichtassness all the gosh dang time. mind your own business get out of mine stop trying to control me, your not my mother, my father, or and kind of parent guardian type figure to me. i will give you an example of this type of person. the black lady security guard at my school. Oh my God whats your problem why do you hate me so much whats your problem lady. pop of my jock stop being all in my life. it is moments like this that my hand starts to twitch uncontrollably and people get hit accidently of course. but i have been able to control said twitch very well since i have started high school but it gets hard some times. 

i went to see a movie Saturday with one of my friends who happens to be a guy. i didn't have any of my normal clothes to wear because i am a lazy bum and i refuse to wash clothes unless all of my clothes are dirty. so i looked more like a girl than i wanted to. any way my friend picked me up and came to the door because my father ( who was being mean to him) wanted him too. long story short it looked like a date. which let me state for the record it was not, it was not in any way shape or fashion a date. (btw this is how i am defining it date: to go out socially  with some one you have romantic intrest in.) but because every one thinks it was a date i am going to entertain the idea. let's call him Alighieri. ( yes it is a clue to what his actual name is because i figure since i am not actually dating him and i see him so little i could tell you who he is in code) Alighieri is cute, sweet, personable, smart ( he went to my school and and everybody who has attend my school was a freaking genius like it was not fair at all) funny, athletic, a dog person, drives, driven, likes something from all genres of music, understanding, polite, nerdy, and respectable. he is really a great guy. i think at one point i did have a crush on him like back in my sophomore yr of high school. dating him would be super cool cuz then i would get to date my high school crush who i totally idolize for about a week. the only problem is i don't think we would be a good fit. i could see myself getting bored after about a month. because i refuse to have a kardashian relationship that only last 2 weeks. Plus his friend liked me first and i try very hard not to come between friends if i can help it ( you know sometimes i can't help it i have to fallow my heart when it is continually jerking me in a certain direction). But if i for a moment i thought it would work out i would have gone for it because he is a cutey. i decide to do inverse colors this week just to change it up a bit

Stay fierce yo