skit: when Velvet comes back

So Velvet and I aren't friends anymore. They decided that due to my job it was too taxing on their mental health. They didn't like being secret friends either. I asked them if I told my job about our friendship if they would want to stay friends and they said no. I don't know how much more of a supportive friend I could be. We've gone through a lot together in this past 10 months. We were incredibly close and I am heartbroken and distraught that we aren't friends anymore. My therapist asked me what I would do if they came back and so that's what the rest of this is going to be about.

If Velvet came back I don't think I would care. They have pushed me away too many times for me to take them back again. I never stop being friends with people if we don't talk because to me we're still friends. Even if I don't see the person I still consider them a friend. If we stop being friends then you're dead to me and you're worse off than a stranger. For me an ex-friend is someone I used to love and no longer have a place for in my heart thus no longer have room for my life. The only way I know how to make it stop hurting when a friend leaves is to basically kill them off mentally. I mourn them as if they died and they don't exist anymore to me. It won't be any different for them. I want it to be easier because I feel like I should be preparing for their death. They keep telling me that they're going to die. But it's different losing them when they're still alive and they only have so much longer. I feel like it makes it hurt that much more that they don't want to spend the rest of their life with me. So even if they came back and only had a little time left I don't think I could handle losing them as a friend and then them dying. That is too much for me to go through. I can only be destroyed so many times. Its more than just bitterness in me saying you've made your bed now lie in it. I don't want to be friends with somebody who can so easily dispose of me. I can't get past the fact that Velvet knows me and knew this would hurt me and did it anyway. So they say it's for their best it better be because there's no coming back. I hope they can live with their choice because I have made mine.