Skittles: can't stop staring at the moon

I try to live my life without regret. I also live my life chasing after one thing. Love, a soul mate if you will. Yet so far I have one regret. That I might have given up on my soul mate. I have a nagging feeling that I threw away what I had been asking for. I have a nagging feeling that I'll die wishing I would have made it work. Wanting to go back and do it all over. I spend my nights wondering if I ignored the signs. If destiny, Deities, guardian angels, authors, ancestors, aliens, or whom ever it may be had a plan for me that I've been screwing up every step of the way. Like a disobedient sim. I wonder if the person my heart cries out to feels the same way. I wonder if my heart will ever learn to let go or love another. I don't know if it's possible. I loved V but I still loved them too. I hate looking up at the moon and hoping they are looking at it to missing me but it's the only thing keeping the urges at bay. I am fighting the urge to look at their insta, Facebook, or Twitter. I want to see the their face. But I know it shouldn't matter anymore. I know shouldn't care or want this any more. But it's my birthday so I'll indulge myself a little bit longer. I'll look up once more then I'll put this and myself to bed. 💔