Skittles: what I'm doing instead of talking to Lovely

I've been panicking about telling Lovely that I basically dumped her (as a friend) on accident. I see her next week. I'm still at a lost for words. Good news I found a song Cool Again that exactly conveys what I'm feeling. Shows you how desperately I've been avoiding this. My favorite is the part that goes "I know I'd said we'd be fine but that was then, and it's a lie."  If I ever got physically or romantically involved with Lovely I'd insist we stay friends even if we broke up. She would be ecstatic about that. I always suspected that I was full of shit but now I know that it would be dam near impossible for for me to go right back to being friends. If I could ever get to a place again were I felt like we were okay as friends. We were just friends and now it's weird. Probably just for me, but still. I would be texting her "I know at the beinging I'd said we we'd be fine but I was lying. Sorry?" Actually! I think when we became friends we said it'd be fine that we might have some non platonic (sexual, sensual, romantic, ect) feelings for each other, because we'd never act on them and it be fine. *Takes five minutes to laugh myself to tears (happy tears).* Neither of us could manage to have a purely platonic relationship in practice. And now it's weird. It's probably been weird for her in past at some point. And we (she) got through it without going nuclear. Also with out me noticing. How does she do that? Maybe she just talked to me and it wasn't weird for me? I can do that too! I think? I spend so much of our relationship being honest and vulnerable. Why is it still hard to do? 90% of our friendship is me sharing feelings and showing a side of myself that I share with no one else. She's seen me sad cry. I don't cry in front of anyone!!! Well we need to talk anyway so it's gotta happen.