Skitt: What does love feel like?

For me love usually feels different for each person. But I'll talk about the many faces and shapes my great loves took. I would say that I have been in a relationship with 3 of the people I've ever felt "great love" for Kimmie, Amoriartii, and Vendetta, respectfully. I think other than all feeling relatively the same that these "great loves" are like love of a lifetime. It is a powerful, strong, and distinct feeling. My love for them came from ever fiber of my being. My love for them was so intense the emotion had a physical manifestation. I could feel it just as much as I could feel getting kicked in the shin.

Loving them felt like longing. I wanted to be with them as much as possible and I missed them when we were a part. Loving them felt like motivation. I was so efficient when I was with them. I got my homework done early so that I could be with them. I worked hard to be able to buy them nice things. I wanted to be my best for them. I would move mountains with no hesitation, they didn't even have to ask. It looked like constant consideration. I planned my schedule around time dedicated to them. I would see things that they might like and just buy them. It felt exciting. I was always giddy to see them. It felt happy.  It felt like having butterflies in your stomach. I was always so nervous around them. I didn't want to mess up. I wanted the kiss to be just right. I wanted to keep the right place when we were walking. I didn't want to hold thier hand too tight. It felt right. I never had any doubt that we weren't meant to be. When I was with them it felt like that was exactly where I was suppose to be in that moment. I knew that each of them were right for me despite how they ended. If I could choose not do be with them to avoid the heart ache after, I would still choose to be with them. It felt inspiring. How could I be better every day. How can I show them I love them. It felt sexy. To be wanted and to lust for them was addicting. It felt passionate. Fire running through my body wouldn't have made my blood as hot as it was for them. It felt like admiration. Most of the time I could just look at them and say " Wow! What an amazing human." I respected each of them so much. It looked like making them 1 of my top priorities. Keeping them in mind always influenced my decisions. It felt like distress. Watching the person you love struggle or be in pain is harder than experiencing it yourself. All I wanted to do was make it better and I was often powerless to do so. It felt like understanding. For the most part, I feel like they all understood me and where I was at their approximate time in my life. Love can feel like a warm peaceful filling feeling would just come over me.

There was one love, I won't call it's a "great love" but it sticks out in my head. It was different from the ones above. My love for Godric was calm and steady. My love for him felt safe. My love for him felt comfortable. It felt easy. The love I had for him put me at ease. My love for him felt peaceful. It wasn't a feeling that overcame me. Sometimes love feels like the emotion it's taking over you in a rather forceful way. This wasn't like that. The love wasn't imposing. It didn't take over my life. The love was passive. The love felt inviting and nice.

It hard to describe what it feels like to think about the same person for a period of time everyday you wake up, through the day, and right before you go to sleep. For me it's almost always sudden, like being hit by a giant wave. Then the feeling just grows and gets stronger everyday. Love songs start making sense. When you're in love you understand poetry and art about love. You want the best for them, more than you want the best for yourself. You would do anything to keep them from harm. To know you would sacrifice everything for them. Their love for you is your most precious possession. You would die for them, but more importantly you would live for them. Love can be a person's whole reason for living. I kept a text on my phone that said "I love you", just in case I got into a life threatening situation and was dying. I wanted them to know my last thought in this world would have been about them and I would want my last words to be telling them I loved them. I kept a letter detailing my love for them in my stuff at home just in case I died and couldn't tell them beforehand. Love is more addictive than any drug I've tried. Love can be the motivation behind the strongest frustrations. To love some and let them know is one of the bravest acts a person can do. Loving someone is to be vulnerable. Loving someone is to trust. Love caused the worst pain I've ever felt but it was worth it.