I have to change Lovely's name in my phone from thier nickname to thier actual name. I also have to change my phone background becuase they are my background. I'm a little more than a little attached to both the nickname and the background. I thought I was over the having romantic feelings for them. It turns out I was just finally satisfied in how close we are and our level of intimacy. It is comforting to look at them everytime I look at my phone. But I'm scared to show them. I'm scared for them to find out. I don't want them to think it's weird. But it hurts to loose this. It hurts cuz I'm romantically invested. I know I should be. I honestly can't bear the thought of losing them right now. I lost my soulmate, I lost my girlfriend, I lost my community, I can't loose them too. It already hurts too much. I can't loose all of the love in my life. I'll be empty. I can change and I can let go of these two things, but not right now. Right now this is my daily comfort in days filled with pain. This is all I can do to cope.
I'm bleeding, broken, and in pieces on the floor. Please don't hurt me any more by leaving. Don't leave me yet. Just stay a bit longer.
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