Gate Keeping and Identity Policing within the Queer community
There are many feelings on who should attend Pride and who is welcomed at Pride. These feelings have led to a lot of community policing around identity and erasure of other identities; making people feel unworthy and rejected. Those feelings of unwelcomness and rejection has led to a lot of hate towards people the queer community feel are invading, abusing, and/or should be unwelcomed in queer spaces. Is also led to a great divide within the queer community itself. There have been articles on do's and don'ts for non queer people if the attend Pride and events around Pride. Many Queers believe that non queer people shouldn't even be at Pride or our events. I was originally part of that group. I thought that non queers shouldn't be at Pride or events specifically for us. However, when I thought about it there are several groups of non queer people I want at Pride+ (pride and other queer events) and I feel should be welcomed into the queer community.
Children of queer parents are welcomed. Supportive parents, guardians, siblings, and family of queer people are welcomed at pride+. Any supportive friends and chosen family who don't tokenize said queer person are also welcome at pride+. It means a lot to me when my siblings come to pride with me. I would feel completely accepted and would love it if my mom ever came to pride with me. It would mean so much that she showed up for me and she's willing to publicly support me. It is important for our well-being as people to feel loved and accepted. It is life-changing/saving if your social support network supports you. We should never take away the opportunity for someone to prove their love for their queer loved one.
Straight people in meaningful relationships with queers should also be at Pride+. If I have a cis hetero male partner, I would want him to come to Pride with me. I'm still bi no matter who I am with. I would want my partner to support me. Romantic partners of asexuals, platonic or sexual partners of aromantics, and partners of any people who identify as one of the many middle sexualities are all welcome at Pride+. Partners of trans, gender fluid, agender, non-binary, or any non cis gender identity are also welcomed. Why would we deny a queer person the right to bring their non queer partner to an event that celebrates said queer person? Partners of/people in important relationships with queer people are allowed to celebrate and support their person or people.
People honoring the memory or legacy of deceased loved one are welcomed as well. Trans women of color murdered everyday. Queer suicides have increased since Trump took office. Those honoring the thousands we lost to Aids. People honoring the ones we lost at the Pulse Nightclub. The dearly departed shouldn't be forgotten. There is a time to mourn, but after a person is done mourning they should definitely join us in celebrating their loved one's life. They are needed at Pride+. We need to remember why we need to be seen and why we are fighting. We need this particular group to remind us where we have been, to push us so they didn't die in vain, and to keep us moving forward. Please come. We need you.
Therapist, psychiatrist, lawyers, healthcare professionals, should be marching in the dam parade. We need these resources. Being in the parade to let us know that these professionals are accepting, welcoming, and know a little about the queer community and how it relates to their field would be great. I would love to see. Y'all are welcomed at Pride+.
Other activist groups that are actually accepting of queers and trying to do better should be at Pride+. Black Lives Matter, Assata's Daughters, BYP 100 (Black Youth Project 100),National Council of La Raza, Hispanic Access Foundation, Hispanic Federation, Asian Youth Services, Red Earth, Survival International, First Nations Development Institute, Empowered Pacific Islander Communities, Asian Pacific Islander American Public Affairs, National Coalition for Asian Pacific American Community Development (CAPACD), Inner-City Muslim Action Network, Islamic Society of North America, Muslim American society, Institute for Middle East Understanding, The Arab American Action Network, National Network for Arab American Communities, groups against domestic violence, groups against sexual violence, groups fighting for people with disabilities, Planned Parenthood, intersectional feminist groups, groups Pro reproductive Health rights, group supporting homeless youth, pro-palestine groups, etc. Queer people are not just one-dimensional so a celebration for us shouldn't be either. I already said support is life-changing / saving. It is critical to have these groups to cater to the entire person not just their queerness at Pride+.
Finally comrades not allies are also welcome at Pride+. The community has been making a distinction between the two. Allies show up but are often problematic as they do not support the entire queer community usually just gays or lesbians. Allies often don't support trans people. Allies tokenize gay men normally through micro aggressions like calling someone thier Gay best friend or calling themselves a fag hag. Allies go to gay bar and try to dance on gay men who clearly aren't interested. This is especially true for female allies escaping the harassment of straight men at non queer bars. These women end up becoming what they are escaping in our eyes. Comrades, on the other hand, fight with our community, support all of us, dont tokenize us, listen, try to understand, constantly / willing to learn, doesn't take up space ( meaning in queer spaces they don't talk over queer people, act presumptuously, or make it all about themselves), and use their privilege to help the movement. Commrads are helping us, so yes celebrate with us.
Pride events are not here so that non queers can ogle, watch the spectacleb tokenize, get drunk, or exoticize us. They are here first and foremost because of black Trans woman was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When police came to rade the bar she was in she threw a brick at them. Marsha P Johnson is one of trans women of color gave birth to Pride. The parades are here because we got tired of hiding and being targetes of violence. We come together because it is often the only time many queers get to be in community. Pride events are far too often the only time queer people can safely and publicly be who they are. People travel far to get to a city to attend the parade. Young people who are hiding from their families or in the closet for some other reason, get to be with other queer people just like them for a day or two. Young queers often don't get the chance to be in community either because of when events happen, where they are, or age limits are 21 for most spaces and events.
Pride isn't meant to be hateful but outside is not respecting our spaces has made us bitter. This bitterness that is meant to be directed towards "Emily and Chad" ( basic Cis hetro white people ( people of color do this to though) who just want to see all the naked people and get drunk) are driving a wedge between visibly queer people and cis hetro passing queers. That's not fair. The majority already oppresses the queer minority by being able to be fired, lose our healthcare, not be treated medically, evicted, subjected to tons of red tape just to get official documents like a passport, and/or legally murdered ( gay panic defense). We do not want or deserve to be subjected to tokenization, exoticizing, harassment, exploitation, or hate at our own spaces and events. It is already difficult to be in community due to other forms of discrimination (racism, classism, etc) that were already present ( cuz we can't escape the conditioning of society completely yet). Now because outsiders have invaded we are attacking each other as well. If you are not queer and don't fall into any of the group's I mentioned please reconsider attending. I'm not saying you won't be welcome by some. I'm saying if I see you at Pride+ and I can identify that you are an outsider you won't be welcomed by me or those like me. If non queers respected our space and events that would end commuinty policing. We could once again work towards creating a community that is unconditionally loving and accepting. If you're still unsure on whether you should attend Pride+ consider the following list if you're any of these don't go:
·Trump supporter
·Against abortion
·Transphobic
·Think bisexuality is promiscuous, greedy, or just a phase
·Want to know a trans person's birth name and you are not thier medical professional or work for the government and its your job
·Want to know what trans person's genital the status and you are not a medical professional or trying to have sex with them
·Won't allow trans people going to the bathroom that I just did gender identity
·Don't support queer rights( marriage, job security, housing security, adoption, ect)
·Racist
·Sexist
·Classes
·Ableist
·Fascist
·Nazi
·Zionist
·Nazi sympathizer
·Misogynist
·Close-minded
·Unwilling to learn
·Refuses to try understand
·Hateful
·Against DACA
·Against Dreamers
·Pro police violence
·Pro blue lives matter
·Perpetuate rape culture
·Discriminate against religion that is not Christian or Judaism.
·Against creating a path to citizenship and green cards that actually works and is practical
·A feminist that does not include all women
·Have a strict definition on what it is to be female
·Call someone your gay BFF
·Expect any of your gay friends to do stereotypical things with you like brunch and style you
·Have ever said I won't date or have sex with a race or ethincy that's not euopean (including Russia)
·Don't understand why Confederate statues need to be taken down
·Don't think the Civil War was about slavery
·Don't support gender equality especially when it comes to family planning and the workplace
·Believe people should follow gender roles
·Anti Palestine
·Against Standing Rock or other indigenous protest and rights
·Discriminate, stigmatize, or just generally shitty towards people with mental health things
At the end of the day if you're open-minded, supportive of all, and loving you will be welcomed at Pride+.
No comments:
Post a Comment